Saturday, October 18, 2008

Why was i not informed? O_O

So it seems now that a few of my friends already knew, or at least thought, that i was gay.

I believe that this helped in the coming out process.

I credit it to two things.

1. My smart hint-dropping to soften the surprise.
2. My laziness. :)

So, number 1 first.

I am a pretty 'gay' guy. I'm leaning towards the stereotypical side, but it's not like i'm a raging queen or anything.

My voice - pretty gay. I'm also aware that i walk with a tiny 'swish'. It's tiny, but still...

TV. How many straights watch America's Next Top Model, and So You Think You Can Dance (Aus and US) and other shows like that?

My favourite Big Brother contestant was always the gay one (well, except for one who was a complete prick) :P, and my favourite guy on Skins was Maxxie, and i didn't lie about that.

I never laughed at gay jokes and i disapproved them, like i was against all forms of... meanness.

I also coloured my school planner in pink, use a pink pen, my msn writing is pink and so my favourite colour is... pink.

Oh, and i couldn't help but avert my eyes when my friends were watching their 'videos' at sleepovers, and that's also something that they picked up on.

We talked about this at school the other day. :)

Number 2.

I think one of my friends found my videos a while back and didn't say anything.

Also my inability to flat-out ever say that i was straight. I could just never do it. I'd always put in a playful maybe when asked if i was gay, to emphasize the fact that sexuality didn't matter.

Of course i'd usually kick myself later cos i didn't want anyone to know.

Then there's the fact that i didn't hide my stuff on my USB, and wasn't that the biggest f**k-up of them all.

But it was a good f**k-up nevertheless. ;)

Here's one last random fact. Even my best friend's mother thought i was gay.

I mean, WTF? O_o

We live in a crazy world.

Perhaps by choice, my femininity helped me. I know a lot of you could think that it was a bad idea, but i think that by acting fairly gay, and also being accepted by my friends then, when they actually found out i WAS gay, it wasn't much of a surprise, so there wasn't much of a reaction.

And as far as i'm concerned, not much of a reaction means they don't mind, and that's a good reaction. :D

Leave a comment. :)




Anonymous said...

Hmmm perhaps the fact that you didnt go to great lengths to "hide" who you are... tells us that deep down you are esentually an honest person who left hints subconciously to facilitate the eventual coming out process?

You were in the closet, but you not only refused to lock the door, you left it open wide enough to encourage people to look in! And there you were, dressed in pink :)

Smile, you are stronger for all of this. ::hug:: Tristan

Jasssoonnn said...

lol, ya know, it's funny cause when I came out, people were really shocked, but accepting. Other than my family, that were not shocked at all, but still accepting.

I mean, i am not the straightest acting guy, but I guess it's the sports n stuff i played. Idk, but people didn't believe me.. a lot still don't when I tell them. But I have softened my image a lot too. I guess maybe I acted a little more cold hearted then. lol. Idk.

I can tell tho now, in how you write how much happier you seem. It's almost like a huge weight has been lifted huh. that's how it felt for me.

But ya, some people you can tell easy, but sometimes it can be confusing too! Like some people have that 'gay' voice, or sway, all that r whatever, but are not gay. hmmmm.. got me thinkin! lol

Well, I honestly am so happy for you tho, cause for anyone it's a huge step to be honest with yourself and with everyone around u. :) Good stuff

jhorner said...

I recently told Bill, who I've been friends with for a year and a half - he said "It's quite sweet that you think people don't know" ;) Apparantly, I'm very obviously gay :D

It's good that all your friends are so excellent :+)

Anonymous said...

One point I'd make is that "gay" is such a broad spectrum. Every kind of person under the sun - from a huge muscled football player to a drag queen in 12" heels - can be "gay" and it is so hard to stereotype. I also really worry when the straight community as a whole sees us only as a minority "group" of people who parade down streets wearing sequins or leather with our cheeks hanging out, having copious amounts of promiscuous sex :) Society is so conditioning that ometimes I even get stuck in the view of a stereotype of what is "right".

I have straight friends who are so feminine acting and sounding, you'd swear they are gay - but they are not.

I have a friend who works as an engineer for mining companies in the outback, you would swear he is straight - but he isn't.

I don't fit into any particular category either and most people are surprised (disappointed?) when they find out I am gay - and that I have been in a monogamous relationship for 12 years.. with a guy!

It's a funny world. Let's make the most of it ever day :-)

Still good that you are doing well and strong - I agree your writing sounds much calmer and happier. Well done.


Anonymous said...

Love all my typos *sigh*

Ah well, happy Sunday all.


Aek said...

America's Next Top Model . . . really now? I don't understand why people watch such dribble.

Pink . . . I won't comment on the color pink. All I'll say is that it's a bit much on my eyes.

I'm glad everything seems to have worked out pretty well for you though.