Tuesday, October 21, 2008

'Different' Love.

So i'm still suffering from the flu *cough cough - phlegm flies out onto screen.

Hahaha sorry if that's sick i was only kidding. :P

- Should i put up one of those Followers gadgets? If i get a few comments telling me to do so i will. :)

Then i can follow YOU, my followers. O_O

New links - Both written by young bisexual guys.

AJ's Ramblings - JUST STARTED so if you check him out now you'll be able to follow him as he writes. He's got a pretty damn interesting life as part of a band.

Archer's Wonderful World - Which i am actually really enjoying because he writes really well and if you know me, you know that that's something i can appreciate. It could turn out to be one of my favourites really. Plus, doesn't he have a totally awesome name?

So, believe it or not, that actually leads into today's post. The trend of gay/bi's falling for their straight friends.

Take a look at my first four links ===>

AJ really likes Jake, a guy in his band.
Archer loves his best friend Jason.
Adam adores his friend (only known as 'A').
Jason (a different one lol) loves his buddy Tay.

Quite sad really. One of the bad things about being gay. Why can't we just fall in love with people we can actually have?

I think i've been pretty lucky. As of yet, i've had no romantic feelings for any of my friends... then again, they're not really that affectionate, which is what i crave. Maybe that's a good thing. I don't have to endure heartbreak... yet.

Anyway, this got me thinking...

Let's say a guy is physically attracted to girls, but romantically attracted to boys. What does he define himelf as? Gay, straight or bi? Could he find a satisfying relationship?

If he was into sex, he would probably call himself straight, because love wouldn't enter his head. But if he was more into affection and romance, he would probably call himself gay, right? Because sex wouldn't be important.

Makes ya think, huh?

I've confused myself lol.

If that went right over your head, that's okay. ;D




Anonymous said...

Sorry re your cold. Luckily I can't catch it over here :)

I'd say neither gay nor straight - but "normal". It's a continuum, you'll find it swings like a pendulum depending on the person you're attracted to (either sexually, romantically or both) - and even then it can get more confusing too! Sometimes it involves more than one at the same time. It's hard to box and define, although we'd all like to do so!

Attraction, love and sex is grand - all aspects of it are new and different each time it happens. I do agree protecting yourself from hurt is just fine at the moment, plenty of time for that later :-)



AJCon89 said...

You have no clue... this bi thing will fuck with your head man...

I love my girlfriend but also am really crushing on my friend jake... ARHHHHH! I got it bad because I want the cuddling and the sex from both (a threesome would be perfect ;) ) - at least i get half of what I want.

i dont know why we fall for what we cant have... i think we just fall for who we have a connection to and the bond between two guys as friends (gay, straight, bi, whatever) is a strong instinctual friendship bond. Now add in that we are attracted to people of the same sex, and that can add to those feelings and make us really attracted to them as well...

in summation your honor... we are all screwed :)

Anonymous said...

Used to think that I was bi...but that was because I hadnt fully accepted myself. And it takes time to sort out the kinds of love. I read that there are 3 kinds of love - friendship love, commitment love, and sexual love. A real relationship has to have all 3. If you fall in "love" with someone with only sexual love, or only friendship love, it's not really love. We fall in love with what we can't have because we are afraid we'll never have what we want--all 3. If we really believed that we were capable, and will someday, give and receive all 3 kinds of love with someone, we wouldn't fall for the wrong person. A "bi" person simply means that he or she is capable of giving or receiving that from either sex. It doesn't mean that he or she has to "have" relationships with both sexes.

AJCon89 said...

sorry... but I dont agree with that in the slightest...

its almost like saying "a gay person is just a straight person that needs to realize certain things about themselves and change it."

I'm bi because I am attracted to both guys and girls, not because I am searching out my true self. This is who I am. Truth is, I would be very happy "settling" down with either a guy or a girl. Both sexes are able to give me the exact same thing - love - in all its forms. The situation I am in right now is no different than a guy (or girl) who is going out with someone and is attracted to other people as well regardless of sexuality... yeah it sucks, yeah I know I am not being fully honest with Ash, but it is me and it is how I feel. What can I say... I'm a horny guy...

My challenge, and I know this well, is how to be honest with myself and the one I love about my sexuality. Not changing or accepting something new about myself.

What you said may have been the case with you, and thats great for you. I'm glad it worked out, but there are thousands and thousands of bi people who arent like that and should not be categorized based on that experience. I just think we should all be loving and accepting of who we are because we are all different and unique... and being straight, gay or bi is... it just simply is...

sorry if I sounded bitchy there... but that is a subject that I have had to deal with my entire life... Hey... I almost wish at times I were gay... it might have been simpler that way. But i'm not, and wont ever be and that is something I have come to terms with...

Sorry for making this serious... now back to the fun...

jhorner said...

I wish I didn't love A. It's so disastrous to my well-being, but I can't help it :+(

mirrorboy said...

hmm... well i'll try my best to make sense of this... O_O

I'm thinking ALL people can have strong relationships with ALL people.

But depending on your sexuality, it opens up the gateway to sexual/romantic reationships with different genders of people, and you can become more than friends.

A straight guy can't have a proper relationship with a gay guy, because the sexual aspect will always be missing. The same goes for a gay guy with a girl.

I know, durr...

But quite simply, all relationships that ain't gonna work are missing either friendship, romance or sexual attraction, FROM BOTH PEOPLE.

A lotta guys and girls fall for people they can't have because they just plain love them, and that doesn't need an explanation, it's just natural.

The feelings can't be returned because of sexuality.

Hmm... I really went off the topic of the post, didn't i? I can't even remember what it was now...

Oh that's right, the hypothetical guy in the post...

Taking into account what i said above, does that mean he can never have a fulfilling relationship with ANYONE??

Hmm... i get the feeling this is something just can't define.

oh well, lolololove,


Seth said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog, I really appreciate it.

Hope you feel better soon!!

You certainly got ME thinking, I tried earlier to leave a comment, 4 times, but each time I got so long-winded, I figure I best wait until I can formulate my thoughts a little better before replying to your discussion.


Archer_W said...

I got a shoutout! Whoot!

I do enjoy my name also. Teehee.

You should feel lucky you havent fallen for any friends. Its so confusing. But so possibly worth it. :D

Looking forward to more posts!

Oh and I'll have another post sometime tonight. I have many things to say *giddy*


Anonymous said...

luv ur question . . . and i'l go you one better:

i called myself bi for a long time, while it was all still hypothetical, but the first person to choose to stay with me and build something was a girl, one that i'd told i was really more gay than bi. we were it for 4 yrs til she left becuase she wanted a girlfriend!?!?!?!?!?!!

if a gay guy is having sex with a girl, is that gay, str8 or bi sex?

now, change the ? 2x more:

if it's a gay guy and a lesbian?

if its a gay guy and a lesbian and the gay guy prefers vaginal sex and the lesbian prefers anal sex?

all true, and totally f**cked up!

me - i was soooooo confused about my label. at that time, some years ago, most gay activists horribly bashed bi ppl saying, in short, that they were just scared faggots trying to cling to some last hope for acceptance by society - yeah right

i learned that i didn't need a label, or maybe that being gay was just broad enough, since i think gay is a state of mind and homosexual is merely a clinical description of activity or desire

i also learned that i'm attracted to individuals, not labels

i feel better now - years of mental masturbation was exhausting and limiting

mirrorboy said...

haha wow. My head just exploded. :P

Anonymous said...

which head?