Who wants to contribute to a future best-seller? :D

In the process of reworking my story, Universes, i've began cutting everything unnecessary or unwanted. I've already cut an entire race because they played no real importance to the plot, and now i want to cut another - the Thoughtians - because they're just too complicated and hard to write for. However the Thoughts World still played an important part in the story - a part that i still think is necessary. So now i need a new race, and that's where i could use some suggestions.

The alliance of races are fighting against the evil Shadows. Each race has a unique 'power' that they harness to help in the fight. So what i have now are the...

Heatians who use fire powers
Waterians with water powers
Healthians who can heal and drain life
Speedians gifted with super-speed
Stonians capable of telekinesis
Airians able to fly
Sightians are the ones i cut before Thoughtians thanks to their lame invisibility powers
Thoughtians had mind control - ridiculously hard to write into battles

(I'm aware of how lame the names sound. I'm working on them too.)

So i'm looking for one or possibly more new races and could use any suggestions you could offer up. Please comment any ideas you get because i'm all out, and i need help. Just remember that they need to be useful to a battle scenario.

Please and thanks.
<3

My Other Love.

Tweet 1, last night: He's (Bitboy) an insensitive and confusing asshole. I hate him... So why can't i stop thinking about him every minute? )':

Tweet 2, soon after: God i really need to make some changes to my life. Things can't continue like this -.-

Tweet 3, today during lunch break: There's 2 loves of my life: Bitboy and writing. There's a hole in my soul that won't stop hurting. It's time to reclaim one.

Who would have thought Twitter would help me make important life decisions? :P

Ever since my traumatic school experience, i stopped my beloved writing. I couldn't concentrate because i was just so upset all the time. Then as time progressed and things improved, i'd look back on my half-finished novel and nitpick everything that was wrong or imperfect about it. I continually demotivated myself every time i sat down and looked at the 500 pages of Word documents in front of me, and eventually stopped writing altogether.



Paraphrasing my psychologist: "Sometimes when you don't feel you can do something is when you need to do it the most".

The number one thing i'm most proud of in my life is my writing. It's kept me going in ways i can't even begin to explain. It's been gone from my life for a long time and now i need to take it back, because, frankly, i have no motivation to exist any more. I need something to hang on to, to keep me going.

A couple weeks ago i started a 'Writing Book'. The first thing i wrote in it was the last post that i made on my Words Blog. Since then i've made the first page the 'rules page'. Yes, because my freakin perfectionism kept getting in the way of what i want to do, i've axly had to set rules for the book.

eg. Don't force myself to write, no crossing out, no hesitation (write what comes into my head), nothing is off-limits, nothing needs to be finished, what i write doesn't have to resemble any form of writing (story, poem etc), it doesn't have to make sense... In other words, stop trying to be perfect.

I've heeded my rules and the next thing i decided to write was a guide to oral sex. :P It's unfinished, too, and that's not a problem. The next page is bitching about Bitboy, and then a page of nonsense words, just immediately writing down whatever came into my head - axly an exercise that Mrs OC recommended in an English class once.



What i think i'm going to do in the near future is write down everything that my novel lacks. eg. A timeline, a developing relationship, an organised plot, complex emotion, etc. Then i'm going to try writing a short story for each element, involving it in some way. If i'm going to write a novel one day, and be happy with it, i can't be learning how to write its components as i write the actual thing.



My life is empty, and meaningless right now for me. When i had Bitboy, i had purpose, i had focus, i had a future. Bitboy is gone now, and those things went with him.

I may not be able to get him back, but i'm sure as hell going to reclaim those things, through other means.

I don't have any other choice.

I Told My Teacher.

Remember that personal and special post i made a few days ago on my Words Blog? (You won't if you aren't one of the 8 people who actually read it.) Well, the day after i wrote the original, i handed it right in to my English teacher at school. He always wanted us to write at least one piece of writing a week and hand it in (but soon abandoned that goal after he got nothing every week). I handed it to him and got a pleasantly surprised smile, but wanted to get the hell out of there before he started reading. :P

When i received my piece back later in the day, it had his reply attached to the back.

"Mirrorboy,
Thank you for sharing this part of your experience with me. Falling in love one of the greatest privileges of being human. The cruellest aspect of this is when the other, the loved one, is fickle or less committed than we are. At the time of rejection we feel completely devastated. It is possible to believe that we might not be able to recover our composure, or our ability to love wholeheartedly again. Fortunately, it has been my experience that the human spirit is capable of coming back from adversity that at the time seems insurmountable.

I watched one of my favourite films, again, on Saturday night. In it, the central character is subjected by circumstances to extremely cruel treatment. Despite the worst that the world can ditch up, he fights back to establish his right to freedom. The movie is called "Cool Hand Luke" and stars the late Paul Newman in the title role.

Be reassured that you will recover from your bitter disappointment, provided you do not spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself. May you enter your next relationship a bit less vulnerable than you were in this instance. You will find love again.

Best wishes,
Mr. English Teacher"



At this stage i'd completely forgotten that it was a gay story. I think that says something in itself. For all the worst aspects of people and their opinions i've experienced, whenever i've 'opened up' to someone with authority and responsibility, the response has been, not so much good, as neutral. That's what we really want, after all, isn't it? We don't want a pedestal but we still want a seat.

I believe the sane people of the world accept us, and sanity ultimately, always, prevails.

Words Returns!

My hand was itching in the early hours of the morning; the kind of itching that makes you reach for a pen and piece of paper.

I usually write total fantasy - as far away from normal and real life as possible, because as i've always said, i write about things i understand, and i don't understand life.

But this night i did something i hadn't done in a long time. A very long time. I wrote about my life.

I know what you're thinking: "But wtf Mirrorboy? You have a blog, and all you do is blab about your life! You're lying! WHY ARE YOU LYING!? YOU MAD?"



There's writing, like what i do on here, and then there's my writing. My writing has structure. It has purpose. It has 'me' in it. And it's special to me.

I remember very few of my posts on here, and those i do remember are not in my memory for their literary value to me.

Therefore Mirrorboy's blog is for my writing, and i have resurrected Mirrorboy's Word's for my writing! Simple. :P

Fun fact: It was one year to the day, on June the 2nd, that my last Words post was made. O:



Just in case you aren't a long term reader, i originally started Words for the purpose of posting excerpts from the long story i was writing, Universes, and getting feedback.

Now, it's time to go read my first non-Universes Words post! :P

It's about my heart.

Answers. :P

Thanks for contributing everyone. ^_^

I've tried to group up questions on similar major topics, but other than that, there's not really any order to my answers.

(Planetx/Aek) How is your mom? How are the cats?
My Mum has met someone online and i think she's falling/fallen for him. He's just about the only thing she talks about. He lives in Melbourne, and they've already met up in real life and they got on pretty well. My Mum is the sort of person who got hurt a lot in her younger years and has therefore shut herself off from opening up in the later years. I'm hoping this works out, because if it doesn't, i don't think that shield will ever come down again.
The cats are fine. :P

(ST) Could you please post some more pics of your cats?
Sure lol.

(Seth) When you sit back and look at your place in the world, what do you think about?
Wanting to be somewhere else. Wanting to do something else. Wanting to be something different.

(Planetx) What is the one thing that you would change about yourself physically? What is the one thing that you would change about yourself non-physically?
Lose a bit of weight i guess. (just a bit :P) The things that i want to change mentally are things i'm already working on, and they're all related to my anxiety disorder.

(Tommy) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
For now, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.

(Kevin W) What size shoes do you wear? (Jeremy) How long is your hair? o: (Anonymouses) Why do you like veggiemite? :( Why don't you want to post about pancakes!?
US 9, UK 8 1/2. If i pull my fringe down it touches my nose. :P Cos it's awesome. Cos they're not awesome.

(Aek) What's your favorite breakfast food?
Vegemite toast. nom

(Spastic) If the writing thing doesn't work out and you have to resort to porn, what would your porn star name be?
Oscar Jukes.

(Peter) When are you going to join the rest of the cool bloggers who are on Twitter? :P
When they join World of Warcraft, the definition of cool. d(^-^d)



(Aek) What're the top 5 countries you'd want to visit before you're 40?
USA and UK. I suppose if i had the money and time and opportunity to do so, maybe Japan and Italy and France.

(AJ) What is the one thing you want to do in life? (Daily Dan) What is the number one thing u feel like u need to do before u die? Will u marry me?
Have a partner.
I'd say yes even to just your hair. A cute guy attached is just an added bonus. :P

(Wkboy) How infinitely much do you love me? :P
Infinitely^(infinity).

(Anonymouses) What do you look for in a guy? Can you describe your ideal boyfriend?
Someone who makes me feel safe, comfortable, loved and accepted in every way.

(Anonymous) Have you spoken to Bitboy since you broke up? And do you think you'll stay friends?
Yes, occasionally. We've spoken on the phone twice and we exchange a couple of texts every few days. It used to be more often, but i got sick of always being the initiator. Probably, though it will be tough if he continues making little effort.

(Planetx) What is the best thing to come of the "Bitboy situation"?
Knowing that i am capable of being loved and being in a relationship, along with the intense happiness and pleasure i felt while he was here.
What is the worst?
My broken heart.

(Daniel) In your posts from way back you were saying that you were unlovable. Now, after your relationship with Bitboy, do you feel the same? Also do you think that having a relationship has "cured" your anxieties or do you still feel the need to go to a shrink?
See above. While having a boyfriend around definitely gave me a self-confidence boost, it certainly wasn't a fix-all solution. My anxieties were only pushed to the back of my mind, not out. Having said that, i do feel a lot better about my body now, and am a lot less preoccupied with my perceived imperfections.

(Planetx) For you, how important was the physical aspect vs the emotional aspect of your relationship?
Sex and love? Both were important, but they became the same. My love was intensified by my sexual attraction for him and the experiences we shared, and i've since discovered that i cannot have sex without that emotional aspect. But that's a whole other story. The love came first in our relationship and that was always the overwhelming factor, for me anyway.



(Anonymous) Top or bottom? ;) (Planetx) Did you pitch or catch or switch-hit? :P
I'm quite happy catching and have no plans on pitching any time soon.

(Planetx) How was your "first time"? Second time? Did it get better or worse over time?
He uhh, had trouble hitting the target. I fumbled the ball. I eventually got so tired i passed out. No one reached home base that night.
Second time was much better. We had a gameplan. Both teams scored.

Which did you enjoy more: giving or receiving oral?
Giving. What can i say. I love cock. :P And there's nothing i love more in the bedroom than pleasuring my top and making him moan with his head back...
Yeah didn't bother with the innuendo there. lol

Do you swallow?
I always had tissues next to me.

Bleugh.



(Anonymous) How did you become so popular?
That's a difficult question not to sound arrogant in. :P
There's no real proof that i'm popular. The large majority of my blog commenters know me personally online and talk to me regularly. Perhaps my views can be explained by others' attraction to perceived popularity. "Oh, this Mirrorboy gets lots of comments. Something good must be goin on here. Better have a look." You know. lol
Might be because i'm a good writer and people find it easy to engage with my posts.
Could be because i've blogged through a very tough and emotional year of my life and my readers were able to follow me on my journey.
Or perhaps it's because i've devoted my time and energy to helping others in every way possible and went to large efforts to actually bring this online community together and connect everyone...
Perhaps that's a question better answered by my readers. :P

(Kevin W) Is there someone new in your life after Bitboy? Are you less trusting of people you talk to online now?
No and double no. I met Bitboy and he was better than i ever expected him to be. That's not gonna make me less trusting. :P

(Planetx) How is your outlook on life different now than it was 11 months ago?
It's a lot more positive.
What are you doing in school right now?
Right now i'm sick with a cold. But when i'm not there's a lot of work.
How is your gay youth group going?
Haven't been in a while because i've had a lot on my mind. After a long Monday i just want to go home, not to the group, but i'll probly start going again soon.

(J) How's your diet? How's your mood? (Planetx) How are you doing, really?
My diet is pretty horrible. I'm not eating as much as i should be. I just find it hard to get motivated to cook for reasons related to my mood... which is pretty low most of the time. When i think about how much i miss Bitboy, which is a lot of the time, i get really sad, because i've lost what was probably the best thing in my life and can't get it back. What makes me feel worse is when he doesn't show that he cares about me. Or when i feel that he's getting on with his life fine while i'm still struggling. Anyways i'll be kay.

(Planetx) What do you hope to have accomplished in the next year? The next five years?
This year the one thing i've got to focus on is my school. My other goals are those of self-development. Within the next 5 years, i'll most likely have moved to Melbourne, and as long as that happens i'll be happy.
How is your story going? Will you ever post another 'Mboys words'?
Universes is unfinished and will probably remain that way for a long time. I need to improve my writing skills before embarking on another huge project like that if i'm ever going to be satisfied with the end result.
I wrote a short story about a personal experience last week and have been considering posting it on my writing blog, but i need to really think it through before i do that.



(Bianca) How often a day do you masturbate?
Bout twice. >_>

(Spastic) Favorite wank fantasy?
Anything where one boy is dominant of the other. O:

(Kyle) Hair: pits, chest and pubes; shaven, trimmed, or the wild thing?
I'll answer what i prefer on other people. :P
Pits, i don't care cos i don't spend any time there. Chest, well, i've never had an encounter with a hairy-chested boy my age so it doesn't really matter. :P Pubes, i prefer anything non-wild. lol
And all of those apply to what i prefer on myself anyway. (:
Glad you didn't ask about hair on heads. Don't wanna get me started on that. lol

(Aek) Describe yourself in 5 words?
Caring, self-conscious, thoughtful, bruised, resilient.
What're your top favorite video games?
Kirby Crystal Shards (N64), Paper Mario (N64), Paper Mario:TTYD (Gamecube). NOT Super Paper Mario. Eww. Uhh Super Smash Bros (Wii) and WoW. :P
If you could be any cartoon/video game hero, who would you be and why?
No one is cuter than Kirby. ^_^

(Spastic) Biggest failure? Biggest regret? Greatest accomplishment?
I can't think of a time i've epically failed. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life but i wouldn't call them failures. Idk i can't think of anything. :P
I regret being so hard on myself.
My greatest accomplishment is overcoming the shit in my life to still be here today.



Bob's questions deserve their own category. :P

(Bob) 1. What is the biggest difference in you or how you see the world since that little scared 15 year old ventured into blogland and why?
2. At one time you had a teacher i believed named Ms. O, who you came to trust and admire, have you found another adult like her you can trust and lean on?
3. I know you are a keen cricket player :p. what is the guy who throws the ball towards the wickets called and what is the guy who catches the ball near the wickets called? (bet u wont answer this lol)
4. What are Australia's chances in the world cup and will you watch any of it?
5. For a while you were having some strange dreams. Have they gone away and can u describe a particular strange one?
6. As a person who lives by the coast what do you think of this huge oil spill in the gulf, should companies be allowed to even drill? and could you describe how such an oil spill would effect your town and life? ( i know it sounds like an essay question so like in one or two sentence is all)
7. How is your writing going or have you had time for it?
8. If you could like more like any other person in the world who would it be and why?
9. Is justin Beiber on your ipod? if so what song?
10. Music wise what singer or group do you believe is most aligned or seen as accepting and approved by the gay community?
11. What if any protests or events have u participated in with your youth group?
12. If you could live anywhere after graduating from school where would that be and why there?
13. Are you still baking?
14. I'll put this question in my own words cos it was long. :P
Now that you have experienced sex, are you happy you took the opportunity to do so or do you have any regrets? Do you think boys should wait until they are older or go for it when they want to (i'm guessing in their teens).
15. ok my pervy one lol are you still wanking every day?

1. I don't feel so alone now.
2. No, i haven't. People like her are rare and don't come along often.
3. I don't know. lol
4. I don't know. Absolutely not.
5. They haven't gone away. Last night i dreamt i was back at my old school in a class taught by none other than Mrs OC. :P I shot a girl with something like a blowpipe and Mrs OC got really angry. I was disappointed in myself and couldn't focus on my writing afterwards which was bad because it was a test. ):
6. I really don't know. I don't even know what the oil is for. No oil ships out here either. :P
7. Writing is hard when i have a murky mind.
8. Anyone outgoing.
9. No.
10. Umm Kylie Minogue? lol
11. Just that gay march i blogged about. :P
12. Melbourne, cos it's awesome.
13. Nope.
14. That's complicated. I've experienced loving sex and loveless sex and the second is something i have zero interest in repeating. I can't really give a generalised answer. It's up to an individual to decide if they wanna have sex or not, who with and at what age. The only thing i can advise is that you wait until you have found someone you care about and who cares about you, because that makes it a million times more enjoyable, and of course it's safer, and less, umm, emotionally damaging. At least for me anyways.
15. Yes, yes i am.



Too much thinking. My head hurts. I need to go watch tv and dumb down. =/

Writing Workshop.

I wrote this in about half an hour at school a few weeks ago.

...

The Sun shone brightly, but my mood was dark. I knew the Sun was there, but all I could see was black. Its light was gone. All light was gone. And I was forgotten. Everyone and everything had seen me, but no eyes were on me now. I felt cold to my core. I used to inspire hope and courage. Now, without me, nothing really changes. No one needed me anymore. They would go on living, as they have their own sources of hope. They had moved on and I was left unneeded. I am unneeded. I would cry out but I have no voice. Even if I had one, my cries would fall on deaf ears. I feel like a skeleton. I feel dead. I am cold, surrounded by darkness.

I feel a pull. Like a tug of rescue pulling me from despair. A crescent of light flashes before my eyes. And I see. I see the Sun. The light grows, and flushes my hopelessness from me. I know now that eyes are on me, and people care. I can feel the light on me, and although it isn't mine, I am happy to carry it till the end, to inspire hope and courage in those who can find no light, and bring them back from their own despair.

I see the Earth again and I am glad. I am happy to be a beacon of light for the Earthlings. I always shall. It is my destiny as the moon, till the end.

...

If there is any meaning to the story it is that the darkness in our life can create false feelings of despair, fear and hopelessness, but if you have that pull of rescue, it will always pass and you will know that there are still some people who care.

Sometimes you just can't see that through the darkness though.

A Grand Rewrite.

Normally i would post stuff to do with writing on my Words blog, but since that doesn't get much traffic, i'ma post this here.

So i haven't actually done any writing for months. I'm kind of stuck, for the reason that i've got a story (Universes) that is so complex and multi-layered, that i've left alone for months. Also, when i look back at my stuff, the majority is at a literary level that i'm not happy with.

I'm a perfectionist. If i'm going to do something at all, it has to be done right. So how can i continue writing a story that i'm not happy with?

Either, i plot out the basics of the rest of the story, so i can get my dear baby's skeleton finished (I still haven't worked out how the story progresses, evolves, finishes), and then rewrite the whole thing. Or, i could start again now, rewrite the whole thing from the start so i'm happy with it, and once i finally get back to the point i'm currently at i can continue on with a story that is already decent. (Considering it's 183,000 words long at the moment, that's a huge undertaking.)

I really dunno what to do. :(

Say i decide to start from the start right now. First of all, that is going to take a huge amount of effort. I need to be 100% commited, and at a time like this, i don't know if that's possible. It might be better to wait until 6-week school holidays at the end of the year. Or maybe in a few years time when i'm a better writer, and my high school education is finished.

If i decide to plot out the rest of my story, it will finish differently than if i were writing it another way. My best plotlines have been made up as i wrote. I might be missing out on some great twists if i start planning it all out to the finish.

There is also the option of leaving Universes for later in my life, when i've got time and am a better writer. It's such complicated stuff, with such a diverse level of skill throughout it. It needs work, and a lot of it.

I could begin my next writing project, Hope Hurts (working title :P), which i'm excited about.

Bah. Everything's a mess. I dunno what to do. I could always try to push through with what i've got and just write till the story is finished... Now that i think about it, that may be the best way to go... but it's just so hard.

Grrrrrr. :/



PS. Don't forget to get your questions in for my 'Ask Me Anything' special. :)

200th Post! 200 Random Facts About Me!

Okayz. First of all, congratulations to me! lol. 200 posts is a lot!

Sorry this took so long. But it was soooooooooooooo harrrrrdddddddd. It's 200 facts about me. I tried to make them all somewhat interesting, and i didn't want to have any repeats either.

I did my best and it took me a week of work and frustration. :/

Oh yeah btw, all these are true. :D

And before we get into it, i wanna thank Seth, Aek and Reilly. They were really helpful by giving me some ideas. Trev, Seb, Dan and Paul also helped too. I guess people could see that i was suffering and they took pity on me. lol

Anyway, you'd better enjoy this! *serious face*

It was a lot of work.

I hope there are no spelling mistakes...



Starting with the basics...

1. I am an only child.

2. I live with my Mum.

3. No, i never met my Dad.

4. I live on the coast of Australia in a small city.

5. I have 2 cats.

6. I turn 16 on the 22nd of May.

7. I want to be an author (preferably famous lol).

8. As a job, i would like to be a journalist.

9. I want to leave my city as soon as i can.

10. My favourite colour is pink. 2nd is red, 3rd is black.

11. My favourite TV show is 30 Rock. I also like Dexter, Lost, Mythbusters and Heroes.

12. My favourite type of music is techno.

13. I'm short-sighted so i wear glasses or contacts.

14. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

15. And yes, i lick the spoon.

Now on to less basic things. :)

16. I call my cat Tiger 'fatcat' and my cat Jemima 'fincat'. :)

17. I have one pink pillow and one green pillow, pink sheets and a green doona.

18. My Mum used to have a stalker.

19. When i was really young i wanted to be a clown... then an actor, and then a chiropractor.

20. I have to wash and wipe anything i'm go to eat off, or eat with, or drink out of... unless i'm eating out. (nothing sexual there i assure you) :P

21. I love tennis. I suck at playing.

22. I'm terribly uncoordinated and clumsy. I have trouble even using a knife and fork correctly.

23. I own a Nintendo Wii, a Nintendo Gamecube, a Nintendo 64, a Super Nintendo, and a Game Boy Advance.

24. I have 4 email addresses.

25. My least favourite music is country.

26. I don't like eating meat... but i do still eat it.

27. I've got blue eyes and brown hair.

28. My hair grows way too fast and it's too thick.

29. I hate getting haircuts.

30. I've never been on an aeroplane.

31. My family doesn't own a car, so my Grandma has to drive us places.

32. My Grandma knows i'm gay and is fine with it... but we don't talk about it.

33. My Grandma still says 'God Bless' when she says goodbye to me. She must think there's hope for me yet. ;)

34. My Grandma is Catholic.

35. When i was little i would go to church most weekends with my Grandma.

36. I would get bored at church, and make origami. lol

37. There are 91 people on my msn list, and i've deleted a lot of others. :P

38. I love rain, and storms! :D

39. My favourite celebrities are Shaun Micallef and Natalie Bassingthwaighte.

40. My favourite food is chocolate.

41. I've never been outside of my state.

42. I swear a lot. lol

43. I DESPISE bananas. They're disgusting.

44. I've got small hands and feet. (don't compare to other parts of my anatomy lol)

45. I feel uncomfortable if i'm not wearing shoes. (unless i'm in bed)

46. In fact, i feel uncomfortable if i'm not wearing a bunch of clothes, so i'm almost always in a jacket and shoes and socks (plus other stuff of course).

47. I bought my first pair of jeans when i was in Melbourne.

48. I got my first pair of sunglasses in Melbourne, cos i'd only recently gotten contacts.

49. 49 is my favourite number. :)

50. I have had 5 cats - Tiger and Jemima, Miticus (Mit), Cosmo, and Oscar.

51. Oscar never liked me, and he ran away one day. I was too young to really care. lol

52. Cosmo disappeared as well.

53. I loved Mit, but one day he just disappeared too. It broke my heart. :(

54. That's why i always freak out when my cats don't come home at night. Sometimes i will cry because i'm so worried something has happened to them, like the others.

55. I love my cats a lot. In fact i love them more than most people. lol

56. I keep my money under a trinket box on my bedside table.

57. I have 2 radios beside my bed. One acts as a radio, and the other as an alarm.

58. The furthest i've been from my city is Melbourne, and that's only about 4 hours drive away.

59. I read the Lord of the Rings books when i was about 11 or 12.

60. I've got a big family.

61. I love American sitcoms like Everybody Loves Raymond and Seinfeld.

62. I get email notification for every comment on all of my blogs, so even if you delete a comment, i have a copy in my inbox. :)

63. I wish i was shorter.

64. I love soft drink too much.

65. I say hungee for hungry, angee for angry etc. :)

66. I'm scared of heights and i freak out around spiders, and i hate blood.

67. I went on a Ferris Wheel once and i was scared as hell.

68. All the clothes my Mum buys for me are too big.

69. My cats can always tell when i'm sad and one will come and snuggle with me.

70. I have an electric blanket on my bed.

71. I've lived in 4 houses.

72. One of them was cursed or haunted or something. Bad times...

73. I punch my pillow when i'm angry.

74. I once was in a carpark and people left their car and they forgot to but the handbrake on, so their car slipped down the road and smashed into another car. And i saw it. :O

75. I think my cats are better-looking than average cats. :)

76. I sleep on my side.

77. I'm really self-conscious and i pick on myself a lot. :/

78. I've got low self-esteem.

79. My year 8 English teacher is the one who turned me on to writing and if it weren't for her i never would have written anything.

80. She was also my support at school and i could look to her for help and/or advice.

81. I found out about the gay youth group from her.

82. When i was little i would fill up balloons and rubber gloves with water.

83. I even remember taking them to the bath with me sometimes to play with. :/ lol

84. I need a tan. :P

85. I used to burn things.

86. And i would light candles and dip my fingers in hot wax. Then play with it. :)

87. And i was greatly intrigued by fireplaces.

88. I always wished i had a brother or sister.

89. Simple things can put me in a bad mood.

90. I wish i had punched a certain someone in the face.

91. It annoys me when people add me on msn and then don't say hello.

92. I'm really good at procrastination. :D

93. I spend my money on games. :P

94. I talk to myself.

95. I've got bad circulation and my hands and feet get cold easy.

96. I usually wake up in the morning with really cold feet. :/

97. I invented a word for cute animals - 'pugee', pronounced pai-gee.

98. My favourite band was the Rogue Traders... before they split.

99. My eyes twitch when i'm nervous.

100! I've thought about closing my blog down recently.

101. Several of my school friends were 'okay' with me to my face, but harboured some pretty strong hatred for gays.

102. Smoking turns me off.

103. I don't like drinking or drugs.

104. All 3 exist in my family.

105. I was outed on 2 separate occasions, both by accident.

106. My cat gives me nose kisses. :)

107. I've never done anything remotely sexual with anyone.

108. If i could have a superpower it would be the power to turn back time.

109. I don't have a 'type' of boy that i like. I don't have any preferences.

110. The last movie i saw at the cinema was the latest Narnia one.

111. I like coffee-flavoured things but i don't like actual coffee.

112. I feel good when i see gay characters on tv... unless they're evil or dying or something. :/ lol

113. I have pages full of notes about my story scattered around my computer desk.

114. I cry easily when people die in tv shows.

115. I'm an early riser... well i try to be.

I'm stuck already. :(

116. The first thing i do after i've gotten up is feed the cats.

117. I comfort eat.

118. Posters cover one wall of my bedroom.

119. I've got a double-bed. Wanna share? ;D

120. I've had the same digital watch for years.

121. The last game i bought was Metroid Prime for the Wii.

122. My favourite author is Eoin Colfer.

123. When i was little i would always have to sleep facing left, or i would have nightmares.

124. There are 444 songs on my iPod.

125. I go through about 5 boxes of tissues a week. :P

126. I don't like multiples of 5.

127. When i was younger i would always sip from drinks in multiples of 4.

128. My cat knocks on doors when he wants to come in.

129. I'm the one who has to set up stuff like DVD players and TVs in my house.

130. My family spends Christmas at my Grandma's house.

131. One of my cousins has had a baby.

132. I grow lettuce in my backyard.

133. My favourite drink is Schweppes lemonade. *orgasm* lol

134. I really like longer hair. :)

135. My favourite ice-cream is coffee. :P

136. The walls in my house are cream (colour). lol

137. I like video game music, like kirby. :)

138. I don't like facial hair.

139. I use smilies a lot. :D

140. I don't believe in religion but i do believe in an afterlife.

This is soooooooooo harrrrdd.

141. The only bone i've broken was my little finger... at mini-golf. -_-

142. I once had an allergic reaction to medicine and ended up in the casualty ward at a hospital.

143. My feet have high arches. :(

144. My favourite game series is Paper Mario.

145. Oh, i've got a gay cousin. :P

146. Between Mario and Luigi, i choose Luigi.

147. I've been caught wanking... more than once too. lol

148. I like eating plain pasta.

149. My favourite subject is English.

150. My weapon of choice is a bow. :)

151. Music cheers me up... unless it's sad music. lol

152. I've never drank alcohol or smoked.

153. My favourite day of the week is Friday. :D

154. I'm a Rooster and a Gemini.

155. My Mum used to read Enid Blyton books to me as a kid.

156. I like plastic cutlery. :P

157. My favourite fast food is La Porchetta's. (pizza) :)

158. I can make an origami lily from memory.

159. I've never kissed a guy.

160. My Mum has really long hair that goes past her waist.

161. My favourite time of day is nighttime.

162. I haven't had chickenpox.

163. My favourite vegetable is cauliflower.

164. I don't like big dogs.

165. I am obviously a cat person. :)

166. I still have weird dreams most nights.

167. I like pizza with sauce, ham, cheese and olives. :)

168. I have said 'lol' in real life.

169. And sometimes i feel compulsed to use smilies while writing. :O

170. I probably won't get piercings, and i definitely don't want a tattoo. ouch

171. I wear my watch on my right hand, and i'm right handed.

172. The first thing i wash in the shower is my hair.

173. I'm allergic to really sour things.

174. I eat cereal for breakfast OMG.

175. The clock on my bedside table is 6-7 minutes fast.

176. I slept in a tent at camp once, and in the morning a huge spider was in my bag. I scrambled out and couldn't enter the tent again for half an hour.

177. I like showers more than baths.

178. I know a little French.

179. My favourite accent is Spanish. :)

180. I like Winter more than Summer.

181. My favourite smiley is Tongue Smiley. :P

182. Improper grammar annoys me. :P

183. I can't help correcting people when they make writing mistakes. :)

184. I wrap my legs around things when i'm in bed.

185. I haven't had a wet dream. :O

186. My cats follow me when i go outside.

187. My cat Tiger is snuggled in the chair next to me while i type this.

188. I have 2 middle names.

189. I like Futurama more than The Simpsons.

190. My next story's working title is Hope Hurts.

Here are some pervy ones for you then. ;)

191. I've tasted it, and it's gross. :P

192. Trimmed.

193. Almost 6 inches. lol

194. Uncut.

195. Briefs.

196. Bottom.

197. About 3 times a day. ;)

198. I've done it in every room of my house. :D

Almost done!

199. I really love comments. They are mini-orgasms.

200. I still want a boyfriend more than anything.

Phew.

I'd better get loads of comments on this, bitches. lol

Home Alone.

Yeah. My Mum went on a trip so i've got the house to myself alllll weekend. ;D

And while Mum's away, Mboy plays... Yes. I made very good use of my time today! Muahaahaahaahaaaaaaa

I baked patty cakes. :D

I would take photos but my Mum took the camera with her so i can't.
:(

But they are very yummy and i am a full boy. :)

Also, my friend is coming over for the day tomorrow. So i really won't be getting up to anything out of the usual. :P



I can only make one more post before my 200th special is due, so i might have to space it out for a while until i'm ready. haha. But i'm gonna make a post on MBWords soon and if you don't comment you're out of the family!



This guy keeps bugging me to plug his blog cos he doesn't have enough views. haha

He's actually a decent guy and he lives in New Zealand. And as we all know, New Zealanders are the most awesome people on the planet! :D

Sebastian/School/Dutch



Oh, and i've had a few cool dreams recently.

One time my dream actually had characters from my story in it and it has given me a few ideas for settings, and the other time there was this cool way of attacking that i think i will adapt and actually put in my story. :D

I haven't been writing at all recently cos i've had way too much on my mind, so maybe this is my brain's way of telling me to get back to it!

I think that's all for now.

love

Waitin for the cat to come home.

So i'm gonna post while i sit out here in the kitchen, waiting for my cat Jemima to show up so i can let her inside. :/



I feel like i'm fully past my writer's block. I was tapping away today, and i only got up about 750 words, but it's a lot more progress in a day than i've had in a long time. And i was truly smiling on the inside while i wrote. Writing really is my passion. It makes my heart beat. It gives me a purpose. It gives me goals and something to strive for, and it makes me happy.

And when you sit back and look at something you just created, and it looks good, well, that is a great feeling.

My story is up past 183,000 words now. :)

(Cat just got home. W00t.)

A big part of my struggle is probably the part i'm up to in my story. It takes a lot of specifics because i'm up to a full-on war now, and i have to look after characters who are at different places doing different things. Sometimes i'm minus my main characters and they're the ones who i have developed the most, so it's harder to write for secondary characters, but that's what i was doing today and i made some good progress. And i'm building up to a climax in this war, which will no doubt be a lot of fun to write, if not a bit stressful too. ;)

But it's moments like when a fighter is against a fully armoured strong foe and is losing the fight, who then grabs a plank of wood and starts bashing the crap out of him and turns the tables, that really make me smile and make all the stress worth it.

The cool battle scenes are one thing, but my favourite parts are the characters. I sometimes can't bring myself to kill someone because i'm so attached to them. -_-

Okay okay, i'll stop now. I could keep going and going and going about writing, but i won't. I'll save that for another day.



Does anyone else despise that new-look Followers thing? I think it's called Friend Connect now or something. It's plain ugly and takes heaps longer to load. Why the hell couldn't they give you a choice about whether you wanted to change or not?

'Blogs that are using the Following feature have automatically been migrated to Friend Connect, so you don't need to do a thing.'

Gee. Thanks.



Also, Landyn posted recently, so go have a look!

Here's today's music link. www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/153668 It's an unusual song, but it's still cool.

And here's a pic of Jemima who just got home. :)

On shelves.

First, thanks for all the supportful comments and emails. It really does mean the world to me.

My new idea for a blog colour combination was... not that popular. Only a few votes for yes on it, so i didn't even bother to let the poll finish. lol

An another note althogether, we watched Pulp Fiction in Creative Writing at school today. Violence and blood, swearing, and unexpected anal rape. O_O



About a week ago, i borrowed a book i'd heard about, from the library... *ruffles through bag*

Hot Hits The Remix by an Aussie author (Bernie Monagle) who visited our school once. It's about a few closeted gay kids who at the start are in year 10 and it goes over a couple of years.

(A couple of months ago, i would have been too afraid or embarassed to even be seen looking at it. I guess there are a few small benefits to being 'out'. At least i don't have to pretend anymore.)

Anyways... This book has got me thinking...

Imagine my blog, on a much larger scale. I write about my life and my experiences on here all the time. Maybe one day, i could put these thoughts into a book.

If this blog is helping a few people online, imagine what i could do if 'my story' was out there on shelves - out there amongst everyone, for anyone who was looking to find and read.

It wouldn't be written the same way as my blog, of course. It would be semi autobiographical, mainly about my coming out, and how i've tried to deal with it and my experiences to do with sexuality.

Of course, i can't actually write it yet. I'm still going through my journey... but perhaps one day...



Don't forget, i AM a writer. I pour most of my life into writing. It might not be that much of a stretch. :)



Here are today's music links. I was only gonna post one, but it was a sad one, so i figured i'd post another one as well. :)

www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/164684 Don't listen if you're in a fragile state. It ain't gonna help. Especially the start. Then it moves to what i feel is like desperation and crying out. But that's my interpretation.

www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/69504 Gets a lot faster and upbeat further on. :)

Don't forget to comment about the songs, plz? *puppy dog eyes*

Random posts are always good. :)

I haven't got anything specific to post about. So instead i'll post a few small and big things that together equal a whole post.

- I got 'caught' by my Mum yesterday night... To quote Seinfeld: "You know... I was alone..." Ugh. Yeah. That was no fun. Nothing kills it faster than your Mum walking in. And she saw 'it'. Epic cringe... :/!

- I feel the need to plug Landyn's blog every time he posts. So i'm plugging it now. Go look. Read. Comment. Add to favourites. I command you. If anyone deserves some love right now it's him.

- For those of you who keep asking, the gay group in my city meets on Mondays, and yes, i am going again this Monday. lol. People also keep asking me if there were any cute boys. My my my, you are such pervs. lol

- On Friday i had an awful moment. See, i have a USB (for those of you who don't know, a USB is used to store files for computers) and i keep lots of stuff on it. I keep my big story on it and it's always the most updated version. I also keep all my plans for that story, and for the next story i'm planning. The plans alone are the result of dozens of hours of work. I also use it to transfer music and school work between computers (and also certain pics before i learnt better), and it also has all the keys to my house on its keyring.

As you can tell, it's one of the most important things i have.

I was convinced that i'd put it in my pocket that morning before i left for school, because i always do. And i remembered seeing it on my desk and slipping it in my pocket then heading out to the car cos my Nan was dropping me off at school.

Well at school, i had Creative Writing then an assembly down at the Auditorium. (We're getting ready for work experience, and people from the army came to talk to us *cough recruit cough*. Apparently you get payed a shitload of money for very little and easy work. Sure...) Anyways, after that at recess, i was heading from my locker when i felt down to my pocket. And all i felt was a couple of tissues.

No USB. No keys. Nothing. Just tissues. My heart absolutely sank. I felt so sick. I knew i hadn't saved a copy of my story in weeks, and the plans hadn't been backed up at all recently. I checked my bag, checked my pocket a hundred times and went down and checked under the seats at the Auditorium. And nothing. It wasn't there. So i felt sick to my stomach all day. I was praying that it had fallen out of my pocket onto the seat of my Nan's car that morning. Cos i was sure i'd put it in my pocket that morning.

So i was so terrified when Nan picked me up after school for an optometrist appointment, and there was nothing on the seat, beside the seat or under the seat. I checked under Nan's seat and the floor behind my seat. I even checked the glovebox. Actually, i was beyond terrified. I was distraught. So so so much work. Gone.

I went to my appointment, then after that sat with my head in my hands all the way home. If it wasn't on my desk at home, i knew i would never get it back.

As soon as we got home, i bounded out of the car and up my steps and opened the door. I ran down to my room, hoping and praying so hard.

I opened my door and looked around and... nothing. No USB.

I felt so sick. I was shoving things around and throwing them off the desk. Still nothing. Oh God.

And then... there was a little glint from under a packet of biscuits. It was my keys... and they were attached to my USB. Literally, i came out to tell my Mum, but just fell to the floor in the corridor - relief washing over me. My head on the carpet. Clutching my USB and keys so hard they were digging into my skin. I haven't been that relieved since i told my Mum i was gay, i tell you.

Why was i so convinced i'd put them in my pocket though? I distinctly remember doing so... Was it because i was so used to the repetition of doing it every day? Or was something else at work here? o.O

So the moral of the story is... Well, from now on i'm always going to zip up my pocket. lol

Oh, and back everything up straight away. :)

- Also, a really cute boy who i talk to online wanted me to mention him in my blog. I literally call him 'Cutie'. You sweet boy Dan. ^_^

He has a thing for feet. lol

I'm sure he'll appreciate me mentioning that. :)



Aye. That's it.

Stay safe and try to be positive.

Weekends are so boring. lol

love.

Another week down.

Well, my second crappy week of grade 10 is over. It's hard to believe i've only been back for that long. It felt like a bloody lifetime to be honest.

Anyways, info and stuff from that gay youth group arrived in the mail yesterday, and they meet on Monday's at 4. So it looks like i'll be going. Man, i'm so nervous. I don't know any gay people my age, so this is a huge thing for me. :/

It also sounds... really... gay. ^_^

There are rainbow colours all over the pages, and words like, 'fighting homophobia', 'united', and 'activism'.

Really gay? I'll fit right in. ;)

And my devout Catholic Grandmother will be dropping me off and picking me up. Aww ain't she sweet. :) My family accepts me at least.

And at least i'm making progress (hopefully).



I've got a bunch of homework to catch up on over the weekend. Ugh. Just what i need. Learn more words for French, make a slideshow for English, write a story for Creative Writing.

At least i'm good at writing. Creative writing is a good subject for me. It might get the right words flowing through my blood again and i can make some decent progress on my big story. (Which has been too hard to concentrate on recently.)



On another note, what's with all the creepo comments people have been leaving in the past couple of weeks? (and it's not just one person). People say i'm depressing or boring. Or i whinge and whine. I don't get it.

I mean, if you don't like my blog, that's fine. If you don't like me, that's fine. But you don't need to leave a comment telling me how awful i am or that i don't deserve this 'popularity' or whatever.

I always have to bite my tongue when i reply. I hate doing that, cos i like swearing. :)



But seriously.

I write about my life. That's what this blog is about. It has ups and downs. When life is good, i write happy posts, and when life is sad and crashing down around me, i write less happy posts. I don't force people to read, and i'm certainly not trying to depress people. In fact, a lot of the time when i talk to people, they're coming to me BECAUSE they feel sad and i'm good at making people happy.

*cough remember aj? cough* hahaha

And i don't indulge in inflating my ego. I spend most of my time trying to stop me from grinding myself into the ground by putting myself down.

So for the record. I don't think i whinge, mr. anonymous. So FUCK YOU.

:)

love.

Perfectionism.

So i'm gonna buckle down and try to make some decent progress in my story today.

I guess since my break from it, i forgot MY KEY to writing.

I'm a goddamn perfectionist and if i can't get something absolutely perfect the first time, then i don't end up doing it. That's my problem. I focus too much on saying things the right way, rather than just getting them down on the screen!

So that's what i'm gonna try - just telling a story, rather than telling it in the best way.

I'm gonna have to come back when i'm finished with it (maybe in a year or so) and proofread the whole thing and fix up those mistakes anyway. I'll worry about that when i come to it. :P

So today if i can just keep writing, and start making some progress, then hopefully it'll all start to come back to me and i'll be writing like the good old days. ;)

Next one's unedited.

MBoy's Dilemma.

If you've only recently started reading my blog, or you've forgotten what i said, you should know that a major part and passion of my life is writing, and i want to be an author.

For a very long time now, i've been writing my story called 'Universes', and i made a post about it some time ago if you're interested. It's a little over 178,000 words now, so try to wrap your head around how much i've worked on it. :)

The problem is, since my break from school started (before Christmas) i haven't actually worked on it at all. I've taken a break from it for all that time.

Now, i'm trying to get back to it, and that's where the problem starts. I'm in a completely different headspace than i was a month ago. I've forgotten my little sparks of ideas. I've forgotten the city names and the locations. I've forgotten my characters' little quirks.

I can't get back in my writing 'zone'. And to top it off, my writing style is forever changing.

Before i took my break, i was already at a block - wading about in a thick pool of STUCK, and since then, i've just relaxed and sunk deeper in, and now it's going to be even harder to get out.

That's my current dilemma, and it's going to require a hell of a lot of commitment and time to work through it. :/

===>mirrorboy<===

Interview with a fictional person.

Was looking around in my schoolwork folder for something interesting. I found this mock interview that i made for my Journalism class about... four months ago... I thought i'd share it.

Sometimes i think i put a little too much effort into these things... :P

Anyways, i know i've made a few mistakes, like, i'm not supposed to say 'i' or 'my' i think... but i was still learning! Don't pick on me please, unless it's constructive. :)

I also know that the paragraphs aren't right, but it's easier to read on my blog this way.

I liked writing it, so i hope you like it too. Anytime i get to be creative, you can bet i'll go overboard and do more than is necessary...

But that's only because i enjoy writing that way. :)

And don't forget that this is 100% fictional. :P



A Phoenix from the ashes.

Amber Saville returns from the TV wasteland with an insatiable desire for perfection, and she knows just how to get it.

It seems that Australia’s memory of our old child star is like that of a strange dream. After several years on the popular channel 10 soap Acquaintances, and moving on to the surprise hit, Elevator Execution, she had already built up a strong fan base. But at perhaps the peak of her career so far, she disappeared to try to make her way along the well-trodden path to Briton fame, and disappeared from our screens without a trace for many years.

Sitting in a Sydney hotel room with the lively star; she has her hair sculpted by a well-groomed male hairdresser, and a glass of expensive champagne in her left hand, you wouldn’t think that the journey she had travelled to get to her current status had been such a treacherous one, and one which she had stumbled on at almost every turn.

"You know, I really thought it was the right decision, to head out and look for better things," she says, between glances at the mirror. "Britain seemed like the most… logical place for me to test the waters. It’s worked for so many other female stars, why not me, you know?"

When asked why she decided to leave at a time when she was one of Australia’s golden girls, she lets out a quiet sigh.

"It was the same every day, you know? As much as I loved my job, and the people I worked with, oh… and especially the fans," and she glances down at the tape recorder with a mischievous smile, "I wanted so much more. I had dreams. I wanted the world to know my name."

I ask her what her first experience of the British television industry was like, and she pauses for a moment. She rests her forehead on her knuckles, before she looks up and stares into the distance.

"I tried out for a lot of TV shows. My agent was fantastic, and he got me auditions for a lot of different things he thought might suit me… But, it was the same response each time. I was constantly told, ‘you don’t really suit the part,’ or, ‘we don’t think this is what you’re looking for,’ so I never really made any progress, you know?"

I bring up the instance of her first break, a small, two-episode appearance on the late-night comedy of the BBC, 70 Faces, and she half-smiles, half-laughs.

"Break? I’d barely call it a break. I played an eighty-year-old," and she starts to laugh. "My face was covered in prosthetics. I knew nothing about the character I would be playing when I signed up. All I wanted to do was get my face on British TV, and look what happened… But, I had to make a living somehow, you know. I did a lot of shows like that, and I was glad I finally got some work."

Before I get a chance to bring it up, she continues onto the next thing on my list of questions.

"It was a surprise when I got a call from my agent, and heard that the guys from Glances At Time were looking for a small-time character. I was so excited to have a go at it, cos I’d been watching the show for years. I went to the audition, and put everything I had into it… Maybe it was my acting skills, maybe my enthusiasm, but they liked what they saw."

With millions watching each episode of the time-travelling drama, Amber had finally had a major success. Her character, Vivian Venom, the volatile partner-in-crime of one of the show’s major villains, struck a cord with many of the viewers. So much so, that she was asked to consider joining the show as a main character.

"I didn’t need a moment to consider it. I jumped at the chance. I was thrilled to finally have a decent job."

She goes on to tell me that she remembers her time on the show very fondly, and I ask her to elaborate.

"The people were wonderful, the storylines were so smart, and I loved doing my job. It was hard at times, sure, but the good things far outweigh the bad things…

I mention the well-known rumours about her relationship with British co-star and on-screen love interest, Sammy Brief, and she looks at me from the corners of her eyes for a moment.

"He’s a sweetheart, oh, and that adorable accent… He was lovely. But nothing ever happened… We were great friends, and we wanted no more. And even if I had wanted it to, well… I think he had a thing for… you know, less feminine people, if you know what I mean," and she starts to giggle again.

Her role on the popular show lasted for four seasons, during which it won several prestigious British television awards. But eventually she got the call, and found out her time on the show was to come to an end.

"If I could’ve stayed forever, I think I might have, but I understand why they had to get rid of me. They were running out of things to do with me!" she laughs. "But they finished me in a very nice way… I took the bad guys with me into oblivion. It was very sweet… and on my last day the cast and crew all got together and threw us a big party."

But that was to be one of the few successes the Aussie actor had overseas. Following her stint on Glances At Time, she joined the cast of risqué comedy/drama The Thirteenth Cow.

"Eurgh… Don’t remind me. What a horrible show. Let me just say for the record that I had no idea the show was going to take the turn it did… Those poor animals…"

Along with many other dismayed actors, she quit the show, and once again found herself unemployed.

"I was back to where I started, jobless and desperate."

She found herself doing the small parts again. She filmed a series of cameos across a broad range of shows, hoping to one again get the call she prayed for.

"I was just hoping the people weren’t sick of me. My agent told me to get my face off the TV, so people don’t get Amber-overload. I did, and was hoping I wouldn’t fade into nothingness like so many others… But luckily I got a call from him a few months after Cow. The producers of a new miniseries wanted an actor to play an off-the-streets vampire… Yeah, apparently they’d seen my work and knew I was versatile. I took the job. Hell, I would’ve taken anything…"

The show was called Not So Lonely Nights, and was supposedly to tell the story of the rise of assorted horror characters throughout the country. The episodes were filmed, and the media was abuzz with curiosity, because the show was expensive, the special effects were supposed to be amazing, and the crew and cast were very tight-lipped about what the show actually entailed… The premiere was watched by millions of people, but what came next came as a shock to most people involved in the project.

"The critics absolutely slammed it. So did the public. They said it was vulgar and unfunny… The next episode barely scraped through, and I think the third one and all those afterwards were cut altogether… Yeah, and when I saw them, I could understand why. The scripts were awful and the way they showed the women was sexist. And the ways the characters talked were offensive, and I think you can see the regret in the actors eyes while they do their thing," she chuckles. "Hey, it was an awful show. All you can do is laugh now…"

But as the show took its horrible dive, so did Amber’s credibility as an actor. Her attempts to regain her former standing in the television world were ineffective.

"I got the feeling nobody wanted to touch me with a ten-foot pole! I felt like… I had no chance at breaking back in. I was back to queuing at auditions, and even then, I was getting the same replies I’d been getting almost a decade ago! I decided I might have to come back home, although I didn’t like the thought of that. Hey, don’t get me wrong! I love Australia, but it hardly has the bustling hub of celebrity other countries have, you know?"

But only days before she was to book her tickets back home and pack up her things, her agent called one last time.

"Yeah, I was doubtful, but he begged me to hear him out, so I did. It was the least I could do for him. He’d been with me through the good and bad all these years, you know?"

American producers of an optimistic new adventure show were looking for a female actor to play the lead role. The show, Resistance, had already signed up many new cast members from auditions and from actors colleges, but the producers had specifically called Amber’s agent to request she take a look.

"When I read the scripts, I got a really good feeling. They sent chills down my spine, they were that good… I was so excited to get back to work, doing what I love. I had a real buzz."

Given that Resistance is still yet to premiere, in Australia, Britain or the US, Amber is reluctant to give away too much.

"I wish I could give you a few spoilers, but my lips have been sealed. We all want it to be a big surprise… You’ll just have to get what you can from the trailers."

But she is more than happy to talk about her role on the show.

"I play Zola Phoenix, a disheartened soldier in a fictional world. My people’s long time enemy have found the source of our power and captured it, and my character defects to their side, seeing it as her only chance for survival. Her family died long ago, and the enemy imprisoned her lover. She has little to live for, except life itself… It’s a role I can really sink my teeth into, you know? It’s great. I’m loving it, every second of it. I couldn’t think of a better place to be in right now."

Realising that my appointment with one of the world’s budding actresses and stars is coming to a close, I ask her where she sees herself in a few decades time, and whether the fact that she has always dreamt of big things will have an effect on that.

"Sure, I’ve always chased fame and renown… and I don’t regret that… but I see things differently now. I’ve been at the bottom and I’ve seen what really matters. I’ve met so many people and heard so many stories. It’s really changed how I view myself, and the world as a whole… What really matters? Happiness. You just have to figure out what your ideal happiness would be, and how you can get it. I want a family, a husband and children. I want to raise the best damn kids in the world and be the best damn mother as well. And it doesn’t matter to me whether they see mummy on the big screen and in the newspapers, or sitting at the sidelines of a soccer match or just reading them a bedtime story. In my mind, I couldn’t ask for anything more than a loving family. I would be so happy with that."



Can you see Mirrorboy as a journalist?

:)?

Writing, polls, and a few links...

First of all, i'm sorry i missed yesterday's post. I got caught up playing a game and before i knew it my mum wanted the pc back to do homework or something...

Second of all, i'm surprised, and proud, that a lot of you read my last post. I thought it would be too long and boring but perhaps i underestimated you haha. :D

Thanks so much for all your kind words. It really does mean a lot to me to have you guys show an interest in what i'm doing.

There were a few questions asked in the comments section, so rather than write a really long comment of my own, i thought i'd make a mini-post.

Q. Books and writers i like and why.

A. I don't read much nowadays. I haven't touched a novel or anything like it probably all year. I did read (and get read to) a lot when i was younger though. I have really fond memories of, as a child, lying in bed with my Mum sitting next to me reading The Faraway Tree and The Wishing Chair by Enid Blyton to me. I'd always ask if there were any pictures on the page. :P

I don't remember much of those books, other than that i loved them. Very fantasy-like.

When i was in about grade 5 or 6, my Mum got me the Lord of the Rings' books for Christmas because i loved the movies. It was probably a little ahead of my comprehension, but aim high my friends! Aim high! It did me good.

The most recent books i read were the ones by Eoin Colfer. Now i love him as an author. When i read his stuff, i get the feeling that he never underestimates his audience's ability to grasp what he's trying to get across. He gives them a lot of credit basically.


Q. Will my story be a novel or a series.

A. Well, THIS story that i'm writing, will either be one book or two. I haven't really decided because... i haven't finished it yet.

Now if i keep going with my worlds and races, then any future stories would probably not contain my current characters. I would probably start a new struggle with an entirely new plot and cast because by the end of this one, they'll have outlived their usefulness.


Q. Have i taken any creative writing classes or read up on how other authors write?

A. Nope. Not at all. But next year i'm doing 'creative writing' as an elective. :)


Feel free to ask me any more questions. Like i said before, i could talk about this sort of stuff forever. Writing is my life, afterall.

After boys. ;)


I don't want to start a whole new post now so...

To the polls now. :)

It's pretty obvious that a lot of you think Skylar is a really hot name. Well, i agree. It's also the name of the main character in my NEXT story, Hope Hurts, which i've started planning but haven't started writing yet, and i won't start writing until Universes is done.

Personally, i think Lynx is the best. :)

Lynx is another twisted individual, very much like Coltrane, except this guy is ACTUALLY evil. He's also bisexual... and has powers of seduction... *wink wink

I won't start talking about that story now... Some other time.


Poll B speaks for itself. It seems that you're all very horned-up. ;D

More than half the votes so far go to something to do with hot boys. ^_^


And poll C... Cuddle me is winning? Oh wow! That's so sweet. :D:D

I knew you guys were awesome. haha

5% of you want to bonk me haha lol. I wouldn't be much fun in bed. Sorry. ;)

2nd is talk to me... Well, sorry, but i don't think i'll be meeting up with you any time soon. You can always add paperkirbypnk@hotmail.com to msn though.

I must admit - i'm pretty damn awesome to talk to.

*free plug for addys lol


And what else? Well...

I like this game.

I like this song.

Check out this new blog.


See ya tomorrow.

love,

===>mirrorboy<===

My first 'real' post about my story. :)

(LONG POST. BE WARNED) I've made it as easy as possible but it requires a bit of commitment to read. haha :P


So i've talked about my story quite a bit in the past - about some of the characters, issues i've had with it, why it's so important, and the like...

Well, for once, you're actually going to hear what it is about. :)

Bear in mind, before i start rambling, that i have poured my heart, soul and spare time into this story for over a year and a half now. I have pressed well over a million keys on keyboards (perhaps backspace more than any others as i try to get it right) and jotted down hundreds of notes on hands, scraps of paper and in notepads.

I've gone to sleep dreaming about it... and daydreamed about it during the day.

When i hear a good instrumental song, i start to imagine particular scenes in my head...

Sometimes i see people and go 'ooh wow. They look so much like how i imagine my character...' :P

When i watch movies with cool action scenes i think 'whoa... that's awesome. I've gotta put that in my story somewhere!"


It's almost impossible for anyone but me, to understand how much this story means to me.

It is a part of my soul now. And my soul is a part of it.



If you have the patience to read this all, you get a special prize from me! :D:D:D

This is the basic plot. Don't worry if you get confused. It is quite complicated. Remember that if you were reading it, these things would be revealed one at a time.


First of all, you have to understand that there is more than one universe. That is why the story is called 'Universes'.

What we call Earth, is known to everyone else as the Light World. We are Lightians, descendants of the Light Spirit. The Spirits created the worlds and universes, and 'humans' were born from their power.

Cross to another universe, and you meet the Powerians (descendants of the Power Spirit). Then we also have Heatians, Waterians, Speedians, Stonians, Airians, Healthians, Sightians, Thoughtians, Soundians, Shadowians and Deathians, each living in their own worlds. There is also a Beast World that contains animals.

Each race has a unique power. Heatians have firepowers, Waterians have waterpowers etc... and they get their strength from their race's 'Orb' which is housed in their world.

Now, the big problem is the Deathians.

Since the beginning, it was their job (and power) to remove souls from bodies and send them on their way to the afterlife...

But one day they discovered something awful - that if instead of sending the soul onto the afterlife, they absorbed it into their bodies, they got the power of the deceased.

And since then, the Deathians have been on a quest for power and conquest.

If they can steal a race's Orb, and take it back to the Death World and place it next to the Death Orb, every Deathian gets that race's power. :O

So, if the Deathians captured the Heat Orb, they would rob the Heatians of their fire powers. Heatians would be severely weakened and permanently fatigued until they get their Orb back to the Heat World. The Deathians would have fire powers and be even stronger than before, thus, being another step closer to wiping out everyone else.


So every other race formed an alliance against the Deathians (except for the Light World (Earth), because us Lightians are way too stupid and concerned with fighting and killing our own people to be involved). :/

Access to our world was cut off, so we were left out of this war... except for a select few.

The alliance has fought for thousands of years against the Deathians.

Unfortunately, Soundians had their Orb taken, so they are now too weak to keep fighting. Also, the entire Shadowian race (perhaps the most beautiful of them all) was wiped out and their Orb was also stolen. The Beasts Orb was also taken by Deathians.

One more race also falls recently, in an event that takes place in my story... due to the betrayal of one of my characters.


One more thing - because they Shadowians had such an individual look, and the Deathians took their powers and everything, the Deathians took on the beauty of Shadowians in a twisted way, and started to resemble them...

Does that make sense? Anyway, since the fall of the Shadowians, Deathians were called shadows... because... well...

because Deathians sounds too corny! And shadows sound much creepier! I just needed an excuse to call them shadows!

There is a difference between Shadowians and shadows...

Shadowians - good.
Shadows - bad... and formerly know as Deathians. :)


Also, the alliance fights in teams, and combinations of teams, rather than in armies, so that people are always with their friends when they're fighting.


Phew... Now that's the background to my story...

That's what it's all about - the struggle against the Deathians (now shadows), who grow stronger every day, while the allies grow weaker.

The alliance must fight back against the shadows, who aim to wipe them out.

Keep reading if you want to find out about my characters and plot...



The story starts with Jack - a Lightian, waking to find his father being murdered by a Deathian/shadow in his own home in the middle of the night.

With an intense throbbing silence in the air (the stolen Sound Power), his ears bleed, and he falls to his knees behind the door with his hands on his head, unable to move, and watches his father's soul be taken.

The shadow leaves, and Jack gets up and stumbles over to his father's remains, which are now just a pile of ash.

Suddenly, there is a flash of purple light, and Jack runs back to hide behind the door.

Three people appear...

Marc - a Powerian, Sydney - a Heatian, and Dorph - a Healthian. They are part of a team, that used to include Jack's father.

After the realisation that they are too late to save him, Marc, the leader of the team, tells them that they have to find his son, Jack.


So they look for him, and (eventually) find him. Jack is told he has to go with Marc and his team-mates, or face a life alone and confused, and possibly in danger.

So, of course, Jack goes with them, and is given his father's sword.

(Yes, they fight with swords and magic and stuff. No guns... cos they're too hard to write about basically. No gun battle can match hand-to-hand combat. :P)


They warp back to the Power World, which is the main base of the alliance. It's where the teams rest, between missions when they warp out to the other worlds to fight or defend.

Marc's team is always on-call. Every morning, the team leaders meet up and are given their orders which they later carry out with their team-mates.

Jack is slowly introduced to the other team-mates - Neo the Waterian, Klax the Stonian, Xeros the Speedian, Zhetty the Thoughtian, and Coltrane who's another Powerian.


They work together, doing missions for the alliance.

But now i introduce my main character, Coltrane - a writers dream.


He is the central character in this whole story, and most of what happens involves him, or happens because of what he did.

He looks kind of emo, with thick black hair and dark eyes. He rarely talks, and shows little emotion, except to his best friend Marc, who he grew up with after his parents were murdered.

Yes, he's in love with Marc, a guy he can't have. (A problem that many of us face, isn't it?)

But not only do i adore Coltrane because he's a great character (and a gay one!)... I adore him because Coltrane is a traitor.


On his 16th birthday, he learned that his mother had been working for the shadows, promised that if she helped them, she would survive when the shadows took over...

However, when she fell in love and gave birth to a son, she quit that life and tried to leave.

On Coltrane's 2nd birthday, while he was with his parents who were going for a walk, his parents were attacked. His mother fled with her son in her arms, but she was mortally wounded, and as she got to safety, she fell to the ground with nothing left...

This was all revealed to Coltrane in a note from his mother...

Coltrane wanted to do it right. Rather than take it as a lesson, he decided to offer himself to the shadows as well, and ask for his survival in return.


That was years ago. Now, Coltrane has been working for the shadows for a long time, doing things for them that only someone on the inside could do.

In my story, his various joyful adventures include:

- Murdering the guardians of the Thoughts Orb and giving it to the shadows.

- Releasing a shadow from prison while his team-mates are outside guarding him.

- Working with a shadow general to grant access to the Health World to the shadows.

- And killing more than one of his team-mates to prove his loyalty... o.O

But is Coltrane really evil? Or did he just make a decision when he was younger that he lived to regret, and which he wants to turn away from, but is too afraid of dying to do so...

What he has done catches up with him eventually.


There is hope for him, in the form of Klax the Stonian.

Klax believes in him, and understands all he has done.

And Klax loves Coltrane...


As well as the characters in Marc's team, we also have Syrene, the Airian team-leader, who's older than Marc, but falls deeply in love with him... even though all those she was close to died a long time ago, and she had fallen into depression.

Slexo, the Speedian Prince, who's been fighting for so long in enemy territory, and hides his true identity.

Zamny, the hyperactive stepbrother of the 2 Healthian generals, who a member of the team is told to look after.

And we also meet the Shadow King and his general Vicious, who Coltrane works with on many occasions.

And many more characters with recurring roles.

Oceavan, a Waterian celebrity.

Selsy, a love interest for Neo.

Alphaz, Dorph's brother, and Malo, Neo's brother.

And many more... :)



And... urgh... that's all i want to write for now, but i could say so much more...

If you have any questions, send me an email or leave a comment anytime. As you can probably tell, i'm more than happy to talk about it. :P



Anyways, that's probably the most important thing in my life right now, so don't blame me for carrying on. I can't help it!

Hopefully, you've gained a much bigger insight into my life now though... (if you actually read the post).


===>mirrorboy<===





BUY THE BOOK IN A YEAR OR TWO!!

Weekend. Let's relax while we can.

Oh my God. I am so exhausted. The weekend could not come early enough.

Thank God for weekends. :)

No thanks for all the homework i gotta do during this one though. :(

Anyway, i'm at home now, so i'll stop thinking about school for now.



Before i forget, good wishes to my buddies AJ and Landyn. Life is hard. I hope we all feel better soon. :)



A while back i promised more about my story, so here we go... again. :P

I've been getting a lot done on my story recently, so it seems like i've gotten past my writer's block... again. I've written a few thousand words in the past couple of days, and considering the scene i'm up to, that's pretty damn good.

Things are so much easier when you have great characters to work with. Unfortunately, that's one of the biggest problems i've had recently. With my main character in prison, i've had to put more work in with making my other ones have more interesting storylines.

That's hard work.



I introduced a couple of other characters to help put a jolt back into things though.

One character who i introduced in this chapter, is Zamny. I wrote a background for him before he even appeared in my book. I like to do that because by the time you put them in, you already know who they are and how they act and stuff.

He's an exciting addition.

Zamny's a hyperactive eight-year-old boy who lives in the Health World capital city. He's the son of the former Queen of the Health World, and the step-brother of the 2 Healthian generals who were already characters.

He has really strong fire powers and could take down a strong foe, but his brothers don't want him to fight because he's too young...

He's a fast runner though, and they can never stop him.



Characters like that, although they're complex, make writing easier.

My main character, Coltrane, is the most disturbed of them all, but he is such a joy to work with.

You'd think that it would be the other way around - that the characters you have typecast as a certain sort, would be easier to write for... and in some ways that is true, but they're not as exciting and unpredictable as the ones you wonder about.

Excitement and unpredictability are the 2 staples of a good story.



I think a good story needs a mix of both unpredictable characters, and the ones that you can rely on. I like to think that i've found that balance.

I have my former team-leader Marc, who's protective of his group and takes charge when things get hard. I have gutsy fire girl Sydney, who would take on the world for her friends. I have my softie healer Dorph, who tries his best, but feels he never lives up to everyone else. I have my joker Neo, who teases and pisses off people who are weaker than him, like Dorph, but would defend them with all he had. I have super-fast Xeros who only wants to be useful and helpful but sometimes fades into the background.

Then i have Klax, who adores my main character Coltrane, but feels like he won't have his feelings returned.

And then Coltrane... an author's dream. I won't get into him here though...



One day we'll see if it pays off huh?

Bah. Too much to do.

This is just a quickie post. :)

I'm gonna go back to my room soon and try to get some more done on my story. I'm in the midst of a big battle for an outpost, and the thing i'm most concerned with is making it interesting. There are only so many times you can have a battle before you start having the problem of deja-vu, it would seem...

I'm taking it paragraph by paragraph, just trying to push out the words, each one trying to be new and interesting.

The big problem is that I'm a complete perfectionist. Every single word has to be right before i can move on, and every little detail has to flow and make sense.

Oh my God, it's torture sometimes... :P



The poll is nearly over, so i'm looking for suggestions for the next one. Leave your ideas in the comments. :)

Should i have a particular theme or question, or another one similar to my current one?



Anyway, results tomorrow, and i'll post about 'me' (the winner) and something quite personal. It'll be interesting to see how many votes the others get though...

===>mirrorboy<===