New Colours!! :O

I quite like it. :P

Thanks Torchy, for that email you sent me at the start of the year telling me how i could change my background colour. I found it and used it. ^_^

It's kinda Christmassy. lol



I've decided for a post coming up, i'm going to take you on a tour of my bedroom by pictures... as soon as i clean it up a bit. :P

If you've got any other suggestions about what you'd like me to post about or do anything about, leave a comment. I'm gonna have nothing interesting to post about during the 2-week holidays. lol

Turning Points. *important!*

I think there were 3 events in my life which changed me forever.

The first was when my Year 9 English teacher came and found me while i was in a class, and pulled me aside to talk to me. Funnily enough, i blogged about that experience. In fact it was the fourth post i ever made. It's sad that some of my most important posts get lost in the past.

I will never, ever, ever forget the kindness that Mrs OC showed me. Not only did she put me onto writing, when i was outed at school she was my support.



Being outed at school. That was the second life-changing event. Really, it changed me forever. It changed me beyond words. It's so painful i don't even want to think about it.

However if you care to know about me, you can go back to October and November and read the posts, because i blogged about what happened, although i didn't blog about a lot of the pain it caused me.

I'm still dealing with many of the issues that came from that time. I also lost most of my 'friends', lying backstabbing cunts, now only having 2 that i can trust, and it was the reason why i changed schools.

It caused my adjustment disorder. And my body dysmorphic disorder and social anxiety disorder fired up. I couldn't sleep at night because i was terrified of waking up to face another day. In the morning i would lie in bed still and silent. When i looked in the mirror i was full of self-loathing. I couldn't do my schoolwork because i couldn't focus. Every single day was one of terror and pain. There was no life in my life anymore.

I can honestly say, the fact that i made it through alive is beyond me. I was on the brink of suicide. The was no hope of recovery in sight. I was failing my work and life itself was crushing me.

But i did make it through. You know why?



Number three: Starting a blog.

Feeling like i belonged, feeling like i wasn't such a freak, having a place where i could talk about what i was going through, making friends who supported me and listened, and knowing that there were people out there who would care if i killed myself.

OH HAI!!

I've had wayyyyyy too much time on my hands since i took that break from blogging. lol - So much time that i didn't know what to do with myself. :P

So i return!

Hai!!!!

A lot of stuff has happened since my break, so i'll post about that during the next few days.

For now, you will notice that i am the author of only 2 blogs now. I've moved some blogs around in the sidebar, added some, removed some, and added a whole new category.

I'll be returning to normal posting on this blog now (even if my frequency of posts does cut down a bit). Be sure to check the other 2 posts that i just made, below. If you wanna make me feel special you could also leave some feedback on the posts i made to Words while this blog was on break, but yeah, i won't get my hopes up. lol

One thing i missed doing was plugging the new bloggers that have made their way to our world. Each new blog is a chance to make a friend, and help someone out. People don't blog for no reason...

So here are some new (well, fairly new, lol) blogs, that i demand you all check out!! *angry face*

Some of our new bloggers are pretty damn gorgeous too. ;)

SimplyNick - Surely everyone has already come across this kid's blog... If not, well you'd better jump on board quick!

Here's an excerpt from his 1st post.

"I'm 15, gay, and Christian. Fun? No. I live in the US but for the time being I'm keeping my detailed location private. Why? Because there are many, many people I'm not out to yet. I'm out to one person in real life... I guess I've known deep down that I was gay since i was 12 or 13, just never wanted to admit it to myself. Over the past month or two it has become very real, and I finally gave up on trying to change. Due to the fact I'm Christian I'm not sure what to think about my sexuality, other than I am who I am, and if God wants me to change, then it'll happen."

Benji's Adventure - Really sweet French boy. :)

If you can stand fractured English, he's definitely worth getting to know. lol. His blog is about vids, pics, and lots of cute stuff. And speaking of cute stuff...

(That's him on top) ;)

Secret Sides of Me - Incredibly sweet US boy. My nickname for him is 'big boy'. lol. He's intelligent and thoughtful, and just plain awesome. :)

Here's a little excerpt from one of my fav recent posts. ;)

"ok so let me start by just saying that i am unequivocally a Top. lol. i'm not really even remotely interested in entertaining the idea of someone or something in me. At the same time i have never been with a guy, as far as sex is concerned. other than a blow job. Now the one thing that is like more than anything turning me off the the whole prospect of it are some rumors about anal sex:
1. ur gonna get shit all over your dick
2. eventually they will shit all over you because you stretched their hole too much and they can't hold it in [medically this is true, stretching the rugea tissue that makes up the anus (butthole) requires time to regain it's original turgor]"

Oh yeah, good times. lol

And gawd, he's fricken hawt too.

Anyways, you'll be hearing more from me in the next few days. I know you can't wait. ;)

Got any questions for me? Check the below post for details.

much love

The Good Old Days.

I'm back. lol. Sleepover was quite boring. :P



Thinking back when i first found and became a part of this online community, it seemed like everyone i knew was happy. There were no huge issues in friends' lives and nobody was doing it tough to the point where they were struggling. Everyone was really nice and making friends around here was easy. Online, i would catch up with some great people regularly, and blogging was fun and easy, and everything was good. Being a part of this all was amazing.

But what's it like now?

Some people i used to talk to every day, i now haven't seen a sign of for weeks or months. Some bloggers that used to update all the time, have disappeared completely and nobody has heard a word from them. People have grown distant to the point where there's no contact at all.

Many of the people that i know are really having a shit time and just holding it together is hard. And for the bloggers that rarely update, it's easy to worry about them. I've met my fair share of creeps and weirdos since coming online. And i've gotten some pretty disturbing emails too.

And worst of all, it seems like some relationships with people i really love are falling apart. Things change, and suddenly your heart is aching because you said something wrong or hurt someone unintentionally, and things may never go back to the way they used to be, when that's all you want.

It's strange, how when i entered the community everything was so great, but as i watched and waited, things have just seemed to have gone downhill, and i can't help but wonder if we will EVER get to the point where everyone is okay, and happy, or if it will be one problem after another forever...



(wishing he could mend some friendships) :(

MB

love.

Sleeeeeepp.

A few of you may have misinterpreted yesterday's post.

I have no intention of stopping blogging. :D



I've now changed the sidebar colour for the first time :O, and also added a picture link for MB Words. I might add a couple more links and rearrange things soon.



Had a really crappy night's sleep. It's becoming a trend. :(

I'm going to bed at 12 but not getting to sleep until around 2am. I know for some of you that's normal, but i like being an early riser and i want to sleep earlier. :(

So i try to get up early so i'll be tired at night and be able to sleep, but i'm so fuckin tired in the morning i can't manage to drag myself out of bed. I hit the snooze button about half a dozen times today.

I turned on the TV as well, and apparently somehow had a dream that mixed with what was on TV. There was a fashion segment on TV, and in my dream i worked in the fruit section of a supermarket, and there was a guy going around judging people's clothes. :/

Oh well. I'm off.

love.

Why Am I Here?

Hai.

First, as you might have seen, i've started changing stuff in the sidebar. I've changed a couple of the links (Secret Project and Jake's blog) to be pics, and i reckon they look okay. Once i've fixed all the links there it'll look better. :)

Also added a quick poll, so go vote ->

'Mirrorboy, i wanna...'
And pick the answer you want to do with/to me.

It's kind of disturbing that 'Sex you' is rating so highly at the moment. lol o.O

Also added a few links to old posts... Good times... Still not finished with that either though.

I spent the night waiting for Landyn to come online, but he didn't show up. -.-

Man my life is boring. lol



Sometimes i wonder what my purpose here in blogworld is. Now that i've told most of my story, and everyone has gotten to know me, what service am i doing here?

I wonder whether i'm here to talk about me and entertain and give my perspective on things etc. like i've always done.

Or if i'm still here now to keep an eye on everyone, and give help to bloggers or readers who need it, be a friend for those who need one or an ear for people who need to spill, and the blog acts as a connection to everyone. I'm still here just so i can connect and help.

I'm not sure... But i'm happy doing what i do. :)

love.

150,000 views!

Yayyyyyyyy! That's right! 150,000 views.

We've come a long way together haven't we.

I love writing this blog. I still maintain that starting it was one of the best things i've ever done. To think that if i'd never started, i wouldn't have met so many amazing people and learnt so much about the rest of the world, well, i can't imagine where i'd be, and i don't want to know. Blogs are amazing and this one has changed my life for the better in many amazing ways. I also hope i provide you with some sort of amusement or interest. :)

Well, it's onto the surprises! :D



I'm announcing the launch of my new blog! Mirrorboy's Words.

Creative writing is a huge part of my life. But i always felt like the sorts of writing posts that i wanted to make didn't belong on this blog. So, i created a blog just for them! Where i can post about that huge part of my life that i don't mention on here much.

I won't explain any more, cos i posted on there explaining everything. Go check it out and tell me what you think.



BUT! That's not all!

I'm also announcing the launch of a third blog which i will co-own with Jake. We'll be posting the sorts of pics that we find 'appealing to the eye'. You'll see what i mean when you check out Secret Project.

It's a lot different than what you're used to seeing from me, but i think it will be a lot of fun.



As for this blog? Well, let's not fix what ain't broken. There will be no changes to this blog at all... for now. ;)



Check out the new blogs and tell me what you think, comment, and if you want links to either of them drop me an email. (Me thinks Secret Project might be good for the view count) lol

www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/153594 - awesomeness.

love.

A Good Day!?

That's right, i had a good day, mostly because my gay youth group meeting thingy was on and was cool. :)

There were only a handful of us there today, and the 'meeting' wasn't really 'on' because the organiser had to take care of a shop downstairs, so we hung around in there with her just chatting. It was a lot more relaxed than last time, and i actually talked to someone this time too! *gasp*

So that was cool. :)

The group is working on making some stickers for the next few weeks that we're going to try to get businesses around town to put up on their windows to show that they're 'gay-friendly'. As well as a few other things.

I really like this group. I can't wait til i really get into it. I can be myself here more than anywhere else cos people around me are actually gay! How amazing! lol



I've got some things planned for my 150,000 views milestone - BIG things. The way i blog will be a lot different from then on. You'll see some different sides to me in different ways.

I'm really excited about it. I think it's gonna be a fun change. I can't wait.



Here's today's music link. www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/142057

love.

Waitin for the cat to come home.

So i'm gonna post while i sit out here in the kitchen, waiting for my cat Jemima to show up so i can let her inside. :/



I feel like i'm fully past my writer's block. I was tapping away today, and i only got up about 750 words, but it's a lot more progress in a day than i've had in a long time. And i was truly smiling on the inside while i wrote. Writing really is my passion. It makes my heart beat. It gives me a purpose. It gives me goals and something to strive for, and it makes me happy.

And when you sit back and look at something you just created, and it looks good, well, that is a great feeling.

My story is up past 183,000 words now. :)

(Cat just got home. W00t.)

A big part of my struggle is probably the part i'm up to in my story. It takes a lot of specifics because i'm up to a full-on war now, and i have to look after characters who are at different places doing different things. Sometimes i'm minus my main characters and they're the ones who i have developed the most, so it's harder to write for secondary characters, but that's what i was doing today and i made some good progress. And i'm building up to a climax in this war, which will no doubt be a lot of fun to write, if not a bit stressful too. ;)

But it's moments like when a fighter is against a fully armoured strong foe and is losing the fight, who then grabs a plank of wood and starts bashing the crap out of him and turns the tables, that really make me smile and make all the stress worth it.

The cool battle scenes are one thing, but my favourite parts are the characters. I sometimes can't bring myself to kill someone because i'm so attached to them. -_-

Okay okay, i'll stop now. I could keep going and going and going about writing, but i won't. I'll save that for another day.



Does anyone else despise that new-look Followers thing? I think it's called Friend Connect now or something. It's plain ugly and takes heaps longer to load. Why the hell couldn't they give you a choice about whether you wanted to change or not?

'Blogs that are using the Following feature have automatically been migrated to Friend Connect, so you don't need to do a thing.'

Gee. Thanks.



Also, Landyn posted recently, so go have a look!

Here's today's music link. www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/153668 It's an unusual song, but it's still cool.

And here's a pic of Jemima who just got home. :)

Why I write this blog. (important post)

Thanks to Torchy for explaining the background colour thing to me. I'll just leave the background how it is, rather than switch my whole layout just to change the colour.

BUT... i can change everything else on my blog's colour. I was messing around before and came up with this example. (click it to see it better)



I'll put up a poll soon for you to vote on whether you like that combo or prefer my current one.



So i was thinking today about why i write my blog, and the reason is that it is my support. For those of you who don't know, this blog was my first contact with the gay world. It was me reaching out in a desperate attempt to find someone who was similar to me.

I was incredibly alone in my struggle, and any sort of discussion or information about sexuality was so unordinary for me. I remember soaking up every little scrap of information about sexuality like a sponge. I'd tape anything on TV with a gay theme, and then i'd sit there, watching it in my room, alone. If i wasn't alone, i'd have the volume turned down low and the remote control nearby, ready to switch it off quick in case someone came in. The mention of anything gay made me blush.

Then i got the internet, and it blew my mind. In a few short months, i quickly began to understand myself more. I would read stories from other gays on websites, like coming-out stories, and just feel so fuzzy and weird. I felt like i was being naughty or something, reading about stuff like that. But it felt good. I now know it was the start of a whole new life for me.

I was learning, but still felt so empty. I knew of this world, but was still not a part of it. And i had no idea how to join. The thought of sending an email to someone was scary. I didn't want to appear as an outsider or a desperate weirdo. So i just observed, and learnt.

Then as i browsed the internet, i discovered these things called blogs. And i realised that there must be some gay ones out there. After some searching, i found some, and i loved them. I gobbled everything up. It was so new to me - all these new things to read and watch and listen to. Mind-blowing.

Then one day, i worked up the guts to leave a comment on a blog. It was just a little one, but the author responded, and made my week. This was a real gay person, who i had made contact with, even only in such a tiny way.

Blogs. Blogs. I couldn't stop thinking about blogs. One day it hit me. This could be a way to make contact, and maybe even one day talk to someone online, who was... gay. Sure, it was such a huge step, when all i wanted to do was make contact, but one night, in the space of 20 minutes before my Mum got home from work, i took a stab, even though i had no idea what i was doing, and the fear of failure or looking like an idiot lurked strong in my mind.

I picked the name mirrorboy, the website, the layout, the address, everything, just like that. And put it up, whipped up a quick little first post, and posted it. I was worried, but tried to appear confident in it.

(Please don't go back and read my first post. It's so cringeworthy. lol)

Then i headed back to my room as my Mum got home, with all the thoughts of the possibilities running through my head for the rest of the night.



That's how it started. Never, ever, ever, in a million years did i think i would end up in a position like this.

I got everything i wanted out of this blog, and more. The main thing, was to make gay friends. And that, i certainly have.

That's why i will defend myself so fucking strongly when people attack me for being full-of-myself. I will never forget how lucky, and privileged i am to be here.



There's one more point i want to make.

I started writing this blog for ME, but that's not the only reason i continue to write it.

What if, in some other corner of the world, there's a young gay boy or girl, living in small city, alone, and secluded from a community they need (and deserve) to be a part of.

I write this blog, to reach out. To let people know that they're not alone. To share my story of where i went from a kid too scared to even write a comment on a blog and taped episodes of Queer As Folk and had to watch in secret, alone, at night, to one who now gets involved in gay issues and makes a difference, and shares his opinion and people listen, and has met so many people and heard so many stories.



And it all happened in less than 6 months.

It blows my mind.

I came here needing help, and people took my hand, listened, and helped me. Now i'm in an amazing position where i can help others too. And i want to. And i do.

My blog has witnessed the births of other blogs, written by people reaching out like i did, perhaps not as scared as me though. ;)

But i'm one of those people now, who can reach out and offer a helping hand, advice, and an ear that's willing to listen. Not just to bloggers, but to anyone who wants it.

And i'm so goddamn fucking thankful to be here.

Changes.

I finally added a Followers tab or whatever it is to my sidebar. That means you can now keep track of me, get updates when i post, and just plain confess your adoration for me. ;)

I also spaced things out a bit more so they're more neat, and i'm thinking about adding some pictures over there to make everything look better. I'll also start a new poll, as soon as i think of a decent question.

Now, if i could just figure out how to change my background colour... :/

Okay, i'm off to watch Dexter. :)

New email and heatwave.

So i'm going to try out using a new email address for people to contact me on, because my previous one also doubled as my personal one, which i don't think was a good idea.

icekeebyblu@hotmail.com is my new email address. It can also be found in the sidebar. For all things mirrorboy/blog-related please use that one. :)

I won't be using it for MSN though so don't randomly add me. :P

I'll still be using my other one a lot so if that's how you already contact me, don't worry about changing. And i'll be using my other one for MSN. I just won't be putting it on my blog anymore.

If you're set on having my MSN, send an email to my new address and i'll let you know. :)

Okay. That should put my heart at rest just a little more.



Just so you know, it's still freakin hot! To put it into perspective, this is the worst heatwave my state has experienced in over a century! T_T

'With fire-fighters, rail operators and power companies on red alert'. We've got news headlines like 'Heatwave Hell'. Cities are close to breaking their all-time temperature records. Some are getting up around 45 degrees C, and that's 113 degrees F!

And all you others are complaining about the snow and cold?! Gimme a break! Agh we're melting like snowmen! If i had snow i would dive into it and rub it all over my naked body.

For realsies.

Uuuuugh.

My head feels really dizzy and headachey...



It's probably from those recent late nights spent talking to Jake. He's stays up til 3 or 4, and yet i'm an early riser. I still end up going to bed past midnight.

Ugh... I need a good sleep.



Anyways, that pic is my new profile pic. I decided to change it for the new year. I think it's pretty cool.



And whether you like my new relationship or not, i'm glad most of you support me. <3

Thanks.

K... Going to bed now.

I don't know what to do anymore...

I've been denying all my online friends the explanation behind my strange mood recently. I guess it's time to spill. I need to spill because everything inside me is slowly killing me.



I guess we start with what the effects of me coming out were...

Well, what were once friendships, quickly turned awkward. After a while, that turned into what i thought was acceptance, but eventually that turned into everyday crude jokes at my expense, and more recently as you've probably figured out if you actually read my blog, a little bit of cyber abuse.

They said they didn't care but my friends will never see me in the same light again.



I was once the kid at school that a lot of people didn't like for no reason in particular. Of course now, they have a reason. I am now the kid that people hate because he is gay - an excuse to single me out.

The honest truth is, that at my school, anybody who is even slightly different is singled-out and made fun of. I'm the GAY ONE.

Being 'out' has caused me countless terrible sleepless nights. I feel like every little snide comment and rumour and laugh and joke is just entering my head and getting trapped and it just builds up and up and up without ever releasing any of the growing pressure and it just escalates and gets worse all the time and i get more stressed and worried and i feel that it's just going to keep building up without an escape and eventually my head is just going to fucking explode and i'm going to collapse into a broken little mess.

...As proud as i am of being gay... recently i've just been wishing that i didn't have to go through this. Being gay is just too hard and i've got so much other stuff to deal with like school subjects and our money situation (which just got 10 times worse with my booklist arriving), getting a job and making 'friends'... I don't even know who i am anymore. Why do i have to have this filling up my already cluttered head? Why can't it just go away and not be any trouble? I don't want to be this any more.

...And yet, the cold truth is that not only will i always be gay, but i will never be allowed back into the closet at school... And what i would give to be back in there now - warm and sheltered from what i'm going through at the moment. I didn't realise it at the time, but it was a shield that used to protect me. It kept me safe from the harsh world that i don't think i'm ready to deal with.

I've come a long way, yes, but the path i'm on has no end. If i keep following this path eventually my legs will give way and i'll just collapse spectacularly and not be able to get back up again...



I'm trying my best to make sense of what's going on inside my crazy head, because i don't know and i have no idea what to do.

I'm just a bit of everything - worried, fed-up, tired, scared, sad... but mostly, stressed, confused and angry.

I'm worried about my blog, fed-up with the routine, tired of all the work, scared of what i continually receive at school, sad about so many things, stressed about school, confused about where to go and what to do from here, and above all else... angry at myself. And that's where i think my problems all start. I've continually fucked myself up my whole life.



Let's get serious.

I have hated myself since i can remember. I hate 99% of everything to do with me. Ask me to name the good things about me, and after my writing (which i still find ways to pick on myself about), my desire to be nice to everyone, and my sense of humour which helps other people feel better... I get stuck and that's the honest truth.

Oh fuck... I don't even know where this post is going... This is just what's in my head and it doesn't even make sense to me.



School is killing me. This dead-end town is killing me, and ultimately i will bring about my own downfall through my own fucking stupidity. Don't believe me?



It all started with that gay crap on my USB which was how i was 'outed'. It takes a pretty stupid idiot to be so stupid as to put that on there. I'm so stupid i can't believe it sometimes.

And then, oh yes, i used the same email address for this blog that was already my personal one.

I originally set my blog to show up on search engines. Now anyone can find me by typing in my email address. Major fuck-up.



And of course, why did i share so much personal stuff on here?

I'll tell you why! Because here i was 'Mirrorboy' and not 'Dusty'!

I was anonymous here, and yet i become less anonymous every day. Before we know it i may have brought about my first and only safe haven's demise through yet again, my own stupidity.



I have no idea how much longer Mirrorboy has left. Any day from now, i may decide to kill him before he fucks up Dusty's life even more.

Mirrorboy only lives in the blogosphere and he would never survive in the real world. Dusty has to live in the real world. Dusty has learnt to hide his soul and true feelings and yet Mirrorboy has been doing the opposite ever since he was created. The 2 cannot become 1.

In real life Mirrorboy must forever hide inside me. If he starts to come out, then i need to kill him before he does any damage. I do love him dearly and it would utterly break my heart to get rid of him but there would be no other choice... because Mirrorboy is my true self.

Yet my true self cannot exist in the real world.



I've shot myself in the foot every time i've aimed for something higher my whole life.

I am the reason my life is awful. My self-hatred has ruled me my entire life. I mean wtf? Am i subconsciously sabotaging my own life because that seems to be the only situation that makes sense because nobody can be that fucking stupid.

Even THIS POST will fuck me up even more because people who know me personally will be reading this, and it's times like that that i wish i could go back to 'Mirrorboy' anonymously... and never have Dusty and Mirrorboy cross paths away from my computer.

Jut like i wish i could go back to being in the closet.

Just like i wish i could undo all those major fuck-ups that have ruined my life so far.



Every day just gets harder to cope with. And i'm 15! For fuck sake! I'm just a kid and i don't want this shit in my head.

Reality bites and anonymity is bliss, but i've got the worst of both worlds. Living my life is destroying my soul little-by-little. I can never smile and mean it any more. When i'm talking to my online friends who are genuinely good people, as long as my mind is not on 'me' then i can forget all my troubles briefly and be happy.

But in the end, i go back to Dusty, every day, and every night. I will always be Dusty and that scares the crap out of me because that's the last thing i want.



That's my life right now - getting worse all the time. To those who don't care, you shouldn't be reading in the first place... To all the others, well, i don't mean to burden you. Sometimes i feel i don't deserve your love. That's why i just feel so empty inside, underneath all of the stress. I feel like none of you would ever love Dusty as much as you love Mirrorboy. I know Dusty best, and i hate myself.



So where does my life go now? What does a twisted kid like me do? What am i in for? What does my future hold?

Most probably, more sadness and stress, more confusion and anger and abuse, and more hating myself.



And that's it. I've bared my soul for perhaps the last time. It felt good to be honest because yet again i've put myself out there for you to ponder over, at my own risk.

But this could just be the cliffhanger to a story that will never be continued.

===><===





And no doubt i'll regret posting this...

The end of long week.

Oh thank God it's finally the weekend! I can finally relax after such a big week where i was so stressed. :)


So, today was interesting. I actually went and had a cool chat to OC (for those of you who don't know, she is a teacher at my school) with Matthew at lunchtime, although i didn't mention my sexuality. I needed to interview someone for my Journalism class and i wanted to ask her to be my interviewee. She said she might be too boring though.

Although she said if i just wanted a mark so i could pass, she would do it for me. She said she would do anything for me. She said she has great respect for me. She said i could do it when i had a free period, even if she had a class, she would just get someone to cover for her.

Wow, i mean... wow... She is just, AWESOME.

And even awesomer is the way she's just so honest, and the way she swears! Somehow we got to her riding a motorbike, and she said it's 'fucking amazing'.

Seriously, i adore her. She's the best teacher in the world, i just wish i actually had her as a teacher this year. :P


As the bell went to signal the end of lunch, we just stayed there and kept talking because she didn't have a class. :D

Halfway through the period, she said she'd better let us go. She asked us if we wanted to go back to class, and we half-laughed, half-said no. ;)

I only had French. :P

So she said we could just go do whatever we wanted, as long as we didn't do anything naughty. She said she'd get our names ticked off the roll. :)

Again, awesome.


Matthew had to go talk to our form coordinator about a problem he was having, so i tagged along. We went in and talked to him for about 10 minutes, but before we left, i said i was having a bit of an issue at school as well...

And then i told him. I told him that a bunch of the kids had found out that i was gay, and a few of them thought it was their business.

We had a quick chat, which involved him telling us that one of his friends came out at the end of college, and some people he knew couldn't deal with that. He said he didn't care about his friend's sexuality at all, and those that did, it was their problem.

He asked if there was anything he and the teachers could do, or if i just wanted them to be aware. I said just being aware of what was happening was enough.

He said that if anything happens, to go and let the teachers know, and i will.


We still had 15 minutes left before the end of the period and he asked us if we wanted to go back to class. We said 'nah' so he said we could just go to the library and hang out until the bell, and we did just that. :)

Wow, i never knew teachers were that cool! lol ;)


Yup, a pretty interesting day.

I know that if things start to go bad (well, worse than now), i can talk to my coordinator.

If things get really bad, i can talk to OC, who i know cares about me and will help me.


People are still asking me whether i'm gay or not, so i can only assume that a lot of people still don't know... so the worst is yet to come, but when it does, i should be okay.


thanks, love,

===>mirrorboy<===


PS. i've got a lot of linkers over there now, as well as a few other linkers i'm aware of but haven't put up yet. When i get time i'm going to split the list into two, one of my absolute favourites, and one of my other friendly linkers, just so we don't have one massive list. :)

Just so i don't miss you, if you link to me and you're not in my links, it might be a good idea to leave a comment. I don't want to leave anyone out.

How sweet and considerate of me... ;D

A busy month.

So, m-boy is at home with the flu. :(

Yesterday at school i was just so sore all over. Everytime i moved it hurt. To top it off we had one of those year 9 assemblies where they pack 150 kids into two rooms...


I also had to take my MSN request down from the sidebar. In the past few weeks it's gone from having a few of my school friends to 27 contacts. I can't talk to you all as much as i want to because i use a shared computer. :(

I'm trying to get one of those hub thingys though so i can have the internet in my room but i'm not really sure what i need - i'm not all that smart with computers. :P

That's not to say that you still can't be my friend. Send me an email if you want to talk. :)


Also, tomorrow is the 1-month anniversary of the start of the blog. :D

It's amazing just how much has changed in one month.


I went from having no gay friends to having dozens (or hundreds) of them. :)

I went from almost completely in the closet to proudly out.

My opinion of my friends has changed dramatically. I don't have to pretend around them anymore either.

And of course, i finally connected with the gay community.

I've said it before and i'll say it again. Starting a blog is the best thing i've ever done.

love,

===>mirrorboy<===