Allo Quickie. :)

This is a quickie post cos there are tv shows on that i wanna watch. lol

A night in bed with a warm blanket is a nice way to relax. It would be even better if there was someone to share with, but oh well, i do have my teddy bear at least. lol

I axly went for another run tonight. I think i'll make it a regular thing. The feeling you get afterwards is so good. You feel good because you're putting in effort and there's no guilt about being lazy or whatever.

Starting this week, i'll also be walking home from school. And that's a 45 minute walk. So woopety doot woot. :P

Today i also found out how to download embedded videos that are posted on blogs.

*cough porn ftw cough*

So that's cool. I also figured out how to fix something with Internet Explorer that was really bugging me. :)

And, i've had the hiccups throughout the day it's really annoying.

Anyways i'ma go now. Shaun Micallef is supposed to be on Rove (a tv show :P) tonight, and Micallef is my absolute favourite tv personality. Always good for lols.

(I posted some vids of his once before, so if you look for Shaun Micallef in my labels, i promise you'll get some lols for yourself.) :)

many loves

Good Night Times.

What does a boy do when he wants to lose weight, and has a love of running, but is too self-conscious to actually go running down the street or to a gym?

He goes running at night! :)

For the past 3 weeks, on Saturday nights, when it's black outside, i've been going running. I love running. There's something so satisfying about just letting go and pushing your body to its max until you're too tired to take one more step. And of course, there's the added benefit of excercise, and feeling good when you get back.

It's so peaceful. The cool air is on your face and in your hair. The only sounds are of the wind rustling the leaves on the trees and the beat of your footsteps, and the huge night sky is above.

And my porch light waits for my return. The warmth of a home awaits.

It could only be better if i had someone to return to.

love

Sick.

Yup. I'm sick.

I feel weak and have no energy and my body's achey and it hurts when i move a lot. As well as a bunch of other things but i won't bore you with the rest.

At least i get a couple days off school. *weak smile*

Oh yeah, i guess i'm not as sad as the other day. I just have bad days sometimes. The fact that i was alone in my room (and starting to get sick) probably made everything worse.

I came to a realization the other day too.

Nobody has the right to complain about their own lives.

People should stop moping in their own sadness - that they got a bad hand in life or they're unlucky. Cos then they don't make an effort to change.

We are ALL capable of being happy. But some of us just have to wait for it, or work for it.

Just cos you're overweight, or have bad skin or big bones, or a quiet voice or you're going bald, doesn't mean you should give up and whinge and whine and get depressed.

You have to make an effort to change. If you can't change what's 'wrong' with you, then you need to change your own view about it. And if you don't, then it's your own fault if you're a sad hermit for the rest of your life.

I've got a hundred things i'm working on for myself. I view myself as a bit of a mess. I'm like that. I have awful self issues and pick on everything about me - some with good reason, and some without.

There were some things i hated about myself that took a really long time to accept. I felt so unlucky. 'Why am i this way when others get it so easy?'

But once you realise that some things are beyond your control, you start to realise that there's nothing really wrong with having something or being a particular way in the first place.

It doesn't condemn you to a life of sadness. It doesn't prevent you from making good friends and being successful.

But if you can't take your mind off the bad things, when you should be striving for the good things, then it's really your own fault if life sucks.

Eh. What's the point of this post? I can't remember. :/

Anyways, i was gonna mention that i'm working on losing weight again. All this stress recently really hasn't done any good for my self-esteem. I comfort eat a lot.

For a while last year, i was happy. Life was kind of 'normal'. I could focus on eating healthier and making an effort, and i lost weight.

Now i've just been coming home after school, grabbing a bag of chips or something and heading to my room to watch TV or play games. It was the only way i could relax.

But guess what. When i look in the mirror nowadays and see what i'm becoming again, i just get unhappier about myself. And for fuck sake, that's all i need!

I'm only making things worse, so i've gotta change. I've done this before, and was doing okay, before i was outed. When i was outed, my world came crashing down and everything changed, and my mind moved from losing weight, to pretty much my own survival.

I can't let this go on. It's not going to get better. So i'm going to go back to losing weight.

All i need to do is find that fire within me that used to drive me.

Anyways. Nostalgia - Mario Kart 64 song remix kinda. I smiled while listening to this.

www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/73041

No more lazing about. ;)

Woot.