Answers!

Sowwy this took a while, but i had over a hundred questions (geez, thanks bob. lol). I picked and chose because some q's were boring. lol

Sorry if i forgot any but i've got questions all over email addresses, msn and many of my posts. :P



Height - 172 cms - 5'6". Weight - 77.9 kilograms - 171.4 pounds (was 79.4 - 174.7 a week ago :D).

2 qualities I like most in others - People who help others, instead of leaving them and expecting someone else to help (I suppose that could be called caring. lol), and being unselfish. But i hate that word. lol

Who/Whom do you have a crush on currently?
No one. :)

What job do you want?
Journalism.

Are you considering going to college/university after high school for English or journalism?
Yes, considering. :)

Favourite school class?
English. :D

Least favourite?
Architecture was awful. lol

Are you still in contact with your friends from your old school?
Only a couple. Some of the others are c*nts and i want nothin to do with them anymore.

Whats going on with you and Jake now?
Very little.

What is the real reason you won't post pics of yourself?
I'm actually an elderly man who gets off by pretending he's a teenager online.

If that were true i would certainly have lots more exciting sexual adventures than i'm getting. lol

When you connect with people on a personal level (either online or in real life) what is the most important thing you want in that relationship and why?
We have to care about each other.

The most important person in your life?
My Mum. I'm an only child with a singe parent. We've got a close bond. Especially recently i've known that she'll do anything for me.

Other than Writing, Wii and the internet, what thing or activity (and not wanking btw), do you enjoying doing or participating in more than anything else?
:D Wanki-- Oh umm. Writing! I don't care what you said. Writing ftw!

Favourite home cooked meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I'd eat pasta for all three. :P

Favourite ice-cream.
Cookies and cream.

Your favorite type of clothing to wear is?
Shoes.

What clothing do you sleep in?
That's assuming i axly sleep in clothing...

Favorite video game you have played?
Paper Mario TTYD. :)

Video game you want to play that you haven’t yet?
Fable 2.

Explain to me what is it about these video games that makes you want to play them.
Well aren't you demanding? lol. They're an escape from life.

What's your favourite childhood book?
I can't remember what it's called but it had cats in it and it was by Enid Blyton.

If your house was on fire what five possessions of yours would you grab before running out?
I'd be more worried about my Mum and my cats than possessions. But i'd grab my iPod and my teddy. :)

Would you talk to other bloggers about OCD if they had it also?
Strange question but yes. lol

The first blogger you emailed?
Jake at My Life On A Wall. Luckily he replied or i wouldn't be blogging. :P

The first who contacted you on MSN?
Lach. Who would have thought a few months later i'd be meeting him in Melbourne. :D

What has been the best thing about blogging for you?
Making friends.

Do you like sunsets or sunrises better and why?
Sunsets... I like the darkness...

What do you like about cats?
They're plain awesome. lol. Dogs are dirty and smelly. Cats are neat and clean and chilled out, and playful when they want to be, like me. lol

Why do you use plastic cutlery?
It feels nicer. And it's less germy... lol

What's your favourite word?
Could say something special and fancy, but i can't go past a word as versatile as f*ck. lol

What clothes do you wear for school?
Jeans, shirt, jacket. lol

Do you cook for your mother as well, and what are your favorite recipes?
I made these pizza things last night. You make the dough and roll it out, put the toppings on, and then roll it up and cut it into slices. I made Mum's dough for her and rolled it out. I'm a good boy. lol

Ask you anything??? I wanna see you :P
That's not a question. :)

Will you marry me? (Asked by Dan. :P)
Yes. I'd marry you for the lone reason that i get to play with your amazing hair. lol :D

Have you ever wanted to visit the States, and what would you like to see-know about them?
I'd go to the US to see some of my friends. I don't really care about the country. lol :)

If you could be any kind of turtle, what kind would you be?
Definitely a wood turtle.

What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite colour?
Mirrorboy. Find the Holy Grail. Red. No, wait-- aaaaaaaaaaahhhh!! ...



Pervs... lol

First crush?
An Asian friend in Primary School.

When you are looking at a guy what do you check out first?
Hair. :S

What turns you off?
Smelliness. Eww. lol

What is an immediate visual turn-on to you in someone?
Again, hair. lol.

How long is your thing?
My dick? lol. About 6 inches. :)

Top or bottom.
100% bottom. :P

Do you have a fetish?
Yes, a few, and i'm not sharing! lol

Do you squirt or shoot? Your shots thick, ropey, watery?
I shoot to kill. Whatever that means. :P

Are you trimmed, shaved or au naturale? Cut or u/c? Sure wish you'd post a pic or two to show us! :)
Trimmed. U/c. I was going to post a pic, but you forgot a question mark, so it's only a statement. Damn.

That's all folks!

200th Post! 200 Random Facts About Me!

Okayz. First of all, congratulations to me! lol. 200 posts is a lot!

Sorry this took so long. But it was soooooooooooooo harrrrrdddddddd. It's 200 facts about me. I tried to make them all somewhat interesting, and i didn't want to have any repeats either.

I did my best and it took me a week of work and frustration. :/

Oh yeah btw, all these are true. :D

And before we get into it, i wanna thank Seth, Aek and Reilly. They were really helpful by giving me some ideas. Trev, Seb, Dan and Paul also helped too. I guess people could see that i was suffering and they took pity on me. lol

Anyway, you'd better enjoy this! *serious face*

It was a lot of work.

I hope there are no spelling mistakes...



Starting with the basics...

1. I am an only child.

2. I live with my Mum.

3. No, i never met my Dad.

4. I live on the coast of Australia in a small city.

5. I have 2 cats.

6. I turn 16 on the 22nd of May.

7. I want to be an author (preferably famous lol).

8. As a job, i would like to be a journalist.

9. I want to leave my city as soon as i can.

10. My favourite colour is pink. 2nd is red, 3rd is black.

11. My favourite TV show is 30 Rock. I also like Dexter, Lost, Mythbusters and Heroes.

12. My favourite type of music is techno.

13. I'm short-sighted so i wear glasses or contacts.

14. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

15. And yes, i lick the spoon.

Now on to less basic things. :)

16. I call my cat Tiger 'fatcat' and my cat Jemima 'fincat'. :)

17. I have one pink pillow and one green pillow, pink sheets and a green doona.

18. My Mum used to have a stalker.

19. When i was really young i wanted to be a clown... then an actor, and then a chiropractor.

20. I have to wash and wipe anything i'm go to eat off, or eat with, or drink out of... unless i'm eating out. (nothing sexual there i assure you) :P

21. I love tennis. I suck at playing.

22. I'm terribly uncoordinated and clumsy. I have trouble even using a knife and fork correctly.

23. I own a Nintendo Wii, a Nintendo Gamecube, a Nintendo 64, a Super Nintendo, and a Game Boy Advance.

24. I have 4 email addresses.

25. My least favourite music is country.

26. I don't like eating meat... but i do still eat it.

27. I've got blue eyes and brown hair.

28. My hair grows way too fast and it's too thick.

29. I hate getting haircuts.

30. I've never been on an aeroplane.

31. My family doesn't own a car, so my Grandma has to drive us places.

32. My Grandma knows i'm gay and is fine with it... but we don't talk about it.

33. My Grandma still says 'God Bless' when she says goodbye to me. She must think there's hope for me yet. ;)

34. My Grandma is Catholic.

35. When i was little i would go to church most weekends with my Grandma.

36. I would get bored at church, and make origami. lol

37. There are 91 people on my msn list, and i've deleted a lot of others. :P

38. I love rain, and storms! :D

39. My favourite celebrities are Shaun Micallef and Natalie Bassingthwaighte.

40. My favourite food is chocolate.

41. I've never been outside of my state.

42. I swear a lot. lol

43. I DESPISE bananas. They're disgusting.

44. I've got small hands and feet. (don't compare to other parts of my anatomy lol)

45. I feel uncomfortable if i'm not wearing shoes. (unless i'm in bed)

46. In fact, i feel uncomfortable if i'm not wearing a bunch of clothes, so i'm almost always in a jacket and shoes and socks (plus other stuff of course).

47. I bought my first pair of jeans when i was in Melbourne.

48. I got my first pair of sunglasses in Melbourne, cos i'd only recently gotten contacts.

49. 49 is my favourite number. :)

50. I have had 5 cats - Tiger and Jemima, Miticus (Mit), Cosmo, and Oscar.

51. Oscar never liked me, and he ran away one day. I was too young to really care. lol

52. Cosmo disappeared as well.

53. I loved Mit, but one day he just disappeared too. It broke my heart. :(

54. That's why i always freak out when my cats don't come home at night. Sometimes i will cry because i'm so worried something has happened to them, like the others.

55. I love my cats a lot. In fact i love them more than most people. lol

56. I keep my money under a trinket box on my bedside table.

57. I have 2 radios beside my bed. One acts as a radio, and the other as an alarm.

58. The furthest i've been from my city is Melbourne, and that's only about 4 hours drive away.

59. I read the Lord of the Rings books when i was about 11 or 12.

60. I've got a big family.

61. I love American sitcoms like Everybody Loves Raymond and Seinfeld.

62. I get email notification for every comment on all of my blogs, so even if you delete a comment, i have a copy in my inbox. :)

63. I wish i was shorter.

64. I love soft drink too much.

65. I say hungee for hungry, angee for angry etc. :)

66. I'm scared of heights and i freak out around spiders, and i hate blood.

67. I went on a Ferris Wheel once and i was scared as hell.

68. All the clothes my Mum buys for me are too big.

69. My cats can always tell when i'm sad and one will come and snuggle with me.

70. I have an electric blanket on my bed.

71. I've lived in 4 houses.

72. One of them was cursed or haunted or something. Bad times...

73. I punch my pillow when i'm angry.

74. I once was in a carpark and people left their car and they forgot to but the handbrake on, so their car slipped down the road and smashed into another car. And i saw it. :O

75. I think my cats are better-looking than average cats. :)

76. I sleep on my side.

77. I'm really self-conscious and i pick on myself a lot. :/

78. I've got low self-esteem.

79. My year 8 English teacher is the one who turned me on to writing and if it weren't for her i never would have written anything.

80. She was also my support at school and i could look to her for help and/or advice.

81. I found out about the gay youth group from her.

82. When i was little i would fill up balloons and rubber gloves with water.

83. I even remember taking them to the bath with me sometimes to play with. :/ lol

84. I need a tan. :P

85. I used to burn things.

86. And i would light candles and dip my fingers in hot wax. Then play with it. :)

87. And i was greatly intrigued by fireplaces.

88. I always wished i had a brother or sister.

89. Simple things can put me in a bad mood.

90. I wish i had punched a certain someone in the face.

91. It annoys me when people add me on msn and then don't say hello.

92. I'm really good at procrastination. :D

93. I spend my money on games. :P

94. I talk to myself.

95. I've got bad circulation and my hands and feet get cold easy.

96. I usually wake up in the morning with really cold feet. :/

97. I invented a word for cute animals - 'pugee', pronounced pai-gee.

98. My favourite band was the Rogue Traders... before they split.

99. My eyes twitch when i'm nervous.

100! I've thought about closing my blog down recently.

101. Several of my school friends were 'okay' with me to my face, but harboured some pretty strong hatred for gays.

102. Smoking turns me off.

103. I don't like drinking or drugs.

104. All 3 exist in my family.

105. I was outed on 2 separate occasions, both by accident.

106. My cat gives me nose kisses. :)

107. I've never done anything remotely sexual with anyone.

108. If i could have a superpower it would be the power to turn back time.

109. I don't have a 'type' of boy that i like. I don't have any preferences.

110. The last movie i saw at the cinema was the latest Narnia one.

111. I like coffee-flavoured things but i don't like actual coffee.

112. I feel good when i see gay characters on tv... unless they're evil or dying or something. :/ lol

113. I have pages full of notes about my story scattered around my computer desk.

114. I cry easily when people die in tv shows.

115. I'm an early riser... well i try to be.

I'm stuck already. :(

116. The first thing i do after i've gotten up is feed the cats.

117. I comfort eat.

118. Posters cover one wall of my bedroom.

119. I've got a double-bed. Wanna share? ;D

120. I've had the same digital watch for years.

121. The last game i bought was Metroid Prime for the Wii.

122. My favourite author is Eoin Colfer.

123. When i was little i would always have to sleep facing left, or i would have nightmares.

124. There are 444 songs on my iPod.

125. I go through about 5 boxes of tissues a week. :P

126. I don't like multiples of 5.

127. When i was younger i would always sip from drinks in multiples of 4.

128. My cat knocks on doors when he wants to come in.

129. I'm the one who has to set up stuff like DVD players and TVs in my house.

130. My family spends Christmas at my Grandma's house.

131. One of my cousins has had a baby.

132. I grow lettuce in my backyard.

133. My favourite drink is Schweppes lemonade. *orgasm* lol

134. I really like longer hair. :)

135. My favourite ice-cream is coffee. :P

136. The walls in my house are cream (colour). lol

137. I like video game music, like kirby. :)

138. I don't like facial hair.

139. I use smilies a lot. :D

140. I don't believe in religion but i do believe in an afterlife.

This is soooooooooo harrrrdd.

141. The only bone i've broken was my little finger... at mini-golf. -_-

142. I once had an allergic reaction to medicine and ended up in the casualty ward at a hospital.

143. My feet have high arches. :(

144. My favourite game series is Paper Mario.

145. Oh, i've got a gay cousin. :P

146. Between Mario and Luigi, i choose Luigi.

147. I've been caught wanking... more than once too. lol

148. I like eating plain pasta.

149. My favourite subject is English.

150. My weapon of choice is a bow. :)

151. Music cheers me up... unless it's sad music. lol

152. I've never drank alcohol or smoked.

153. My favourite day of the week is Friday. :D

154. I'm a Rooster and a Gemini.

155. My Mum used to read Enid Blyton books to me as a kid.

156. I like plastic cutlery. :P

157. My favourite fast food is La Porchetta's. (pizza) :)

158. I can make an origami lily from memory.

159. I've never kissed a guy.

160. My Mum has really long hair that goes past her waist.

161. My favourite time of day is nighttime.

162. I haven't had chickenpox.

163. My favourite vegetable is cauliflower.

164. I don't like big dogs.

165. I am obviously a cat person. :)

166. I still have weird dreams most nights.

167. I like pizza with sauce, ham, cheese and olives. :)

168. I have said 'lol' in real life.

169. And sometimes i feel compulsed to use smilies while writing. :O

170. I probably won't get piercings, and i definitely don't want a tattoo. ouch

171. I wear my watch on my right hand, and i'm right handed.

172. The first thing i wash in the shower is my hair.

173. I'm allergic to really sour things.

174. I eat cereal for breakfast OMG.

175. The clock on my bedside table is 6-7 minutes fast.

176. I slept in a tent at camp once, and in the morning a huge spider was in my bag. I scrambled out and couldn't enter the tent again for half an hour.

177. I like showers more than baths.

178. I know a little French.

179. My favourite accent is Spanish. :)

180. I like Winter more than Summer.

181. My favourite smiley is Tongue Smiley. :P

182. Improper grammar annoys me. :P

183. I can't help correcting people when they make writing mistakes. :)

184. I wrap my legs around things when i'm in bed.

185. I haven't had a wet dream. :O

186. My cats follow me when i go outside.

187. My cat Tiger is snuggled in the chair next to me while i type this.

188. I have 2 middle names.

189. I like Futurama more than The Simpsons.

190. My next story's working title is Hope Hurts.

Here are some pervy ones for you then. ;)

191. I've tasted it, and it's gross. :P

192. Trimmed.

193. Almost 6 inches. lol

194. Uncut.

195. Briefs.

196. Bottom.

197. About 3 times a day. ;)

198. I've done it in every room of my house. :D

Almost done!

199. I really love comments. They are mini-orgasms.

200. I still want a boyfriend more than anything.

Phew.

I'd better get loads of comments on this, bitches. lol

An Interview With Me.

From Col's Blog.

Figured i'd post this on my own blog so i can link to it.

What he wrote is in black or purple and my answers are blue.

:)

- - -

I'm sure Mirrorboy needs no introduction to most of you, but for those that don't read his blog: Mirrorboy's Blog, he's a 15 year old gay guy from Australia. He has a great sense of humour, a wonderfully creative mind and a very strong character. Oh, and he loves his cats too!

If you don't already read his blog (see link above), please go visit him... you won't be disappointed!

The questions...

How old are you and what do you do?
I'm 15 years old, a student at highschool, and wannabe author.

Are you planning to go to college to study journalism?
I still haven't thought that far ahead. I'm a bit useless when it comes to Uni and stuff.

Your readers will already know of the novel you're creating: "Universes". How are things progressing with that lately?
I'm around 183,000 words. Just finished a chapter, so i'm now planning the next one before i dive into and get stuck as per usual. lol. And i'm up to a really tough bit in it cos i'm following a storyline which doesn't include my main characters. Ya know, i make it up as i go along, and the downside of that is sometimes i work myself into a hole.
Hehe.

So, you live in Victoria, Australia?
I sure do.

We'll talk more about location later, so in the meantime... are you Gay, Bisexual or Confused?
Lol. I am gay

And apart from your creative writing, what other hobbies, interests or pastimes do you have?
Hmm... I like playing games. I would kick anyone's ass at the Wii. :P
Other than that, another hobby of mine is blogging heheh, and other internet stuff ;)
Lol.

What about likes and dislikes, loves and hates? Anything at all from foods to people and religion.
Well that's a hard question...
Which requires an answer lol.
Right... I love English, and boys. I hate... haters. Hate is a strong word. So, i only really 'hate' haters.
That's all you wish to say then?
I don't know, your questions are so broad lol. I need direction!
Erm... do you like school, where you live, pizza, religion, animals etc?
I hate my school and where i live. Now that's a good way to use 'hate'.
Lol.

Who do you fancy/have a crush on at the moment... real, celeb, or cyber?
Lol. I can't just post that on the internet for everyone to see! That's personal lol, i do think Rafael Nadal is hot tho.
Yeah, but we all know about that one lol. Anybody else?
Ummz... depends if porn stars count. XD
Yeah!
Hahaha.
Surely there must be somebody!
Yah, im tryin to think...hmm that's hard. Mitch Hewer's hot ;) but every gay loves him.

What kind of boys do you like?
All boys.
Any particular look that really does it for you?
Lol. Well there are a few that i go for i guess - typical blonde twinks, and long-haired emos. I guess guys with nice hair are what i like, i dunno why though.
Do you have a hair fetish?
I wouldn't call it a fetish. It's just a 'thing', i would say. heheh.
So Emo's... what is about them... the hair, the clothes, the piercings etc?They have piercings right?
Hahahaha, some of them. It's hard to say why... maybe it's the hair.
Lol. So boys again... tall, short, skinny, podgy, smooth, hairy, white, asian....?
Dude, i like all boys. Seriously! I can be attracted to all types. What matters most of all is what's on the inside... corny, but it's true!

So, favourite food?
Chocolate :)

Fave style of music?
Techno, trance, ambient sort of stuff.
All time fave song?
That's always changing haha. For now... it's www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/112372 but it will be different in a few days XD.
Lol.

All time fave book, and fave author (you and yours is not included lol)?
Lord of the Ringses were pretty epic, but i like Eoin Colfer's books the most. Every parent should read their kids Enid Blyton's stories too.

Fave two pieces of clothing?
Lol. I like my cargo shorts/pants... that's it lol.
Oh, ok lol

People who have inspired you?
Mrs. Oc made me want to be an author! I'm so glad i had her as a teacher. She gave me a purpose in life for the first time and i will always remember her for that.

I know you haven't really thought about college/uni, but do you think you will go there as an "out" gay man. Or, is it too early to tell yet?
I would need to have a look around once i got there before i would decide... test the waters, if you will.
That's a fair answer.
Damn right it is, bitch! lol.
Lol. You cheeky little pup!

What are your dreams, aspirations and goals for your future?
Find someone who loves me. That's the big one! Other than that, write some good stuff and get it published. I would love it if Universes was successful. Most immediate goal though, is to escape this crippling little city of mine and head to Melbourne ASAP.
Ok, we'll talk about that later but I'm glad you mentioned the word "successful" there. I've no doubt you will be!
*blushes*

So why have you agreed to participate in these interviews?
Cos i like it when people ask me questions. haha.
Do you not hope that it may help others?
Of course.

You're an inspiration to many people, young and old(er), how do you feel about that? Any pressure?
I honestly don't think about being an inspiration, i just go about my business, and if that helps people in any small way, then that's fuckin awesome :)
But yes, there is a certain pressure that comes with where i am now. It becomes harder to give each person some individual time, because every few days i meet someone new.
I'm sure that you do, and I'm also sure that each one of those people appreciate the time you give them... including me.

What are your thoughts/beliefs about being gay is predetermined or a conscious choice?
I think it's totally out of our control.

Ok, when did you realise that you were gay?
Only a couple of years ago.

Realising it and accepting it are very different. What are your thoughts/feelings on that distinction, and have you accepted it?
I have accepted it, but it took me a lot of struggling and time. I guess between the time of one realising they're gay, and accepting it, they have to admit that it's beyond their control...
Very good point!

Who are you “out” to?
I'm 'out' to 3 family members, and everyone at school. Well i was outed!
When i was outed to my Mum, it wasn't as bad as i expected, so i'm glad she found out.
I was NOT, however, ready to be outed at school, so that was hard beyond belief to deal with, and still is.

For any readers who don't know the story of your "outing" can you give a brief description of what happened?
Gay Porn heheh. The word spread, and soon everybody knew.
Who found the porn?
One of my nosy 'friends'.
Is he still a friend. lol?
I think.

What reactions did you receive?
A lot of negative ones. A few positive. A few weird lol. But kids like the ones in my school can be a bit... mean.

Overall, are you now glad it‘s happened?
I honestly don't know. I mean, i can be myself, but at a large cost.
What cost is that?
Insults, people shouting things at me, teasing, jokes at my expense etc.
It's hard.

So, the next question...What fears/worries do you have about living as a gay guy?
I worry that the sort of life i live now (one of being teased and laughed at) is one i will have to live in the future. Other than that, i don't worry about much else. I hope that once i get to the big city, people will be more accepting of who i am, and i will have more support.
What about your rights as a gay man, or having children etc?
I'm 15. I don't need to worry about rights yet, lol.
Children - i don't really mind what happens :) If my partner wants, or has children, i will probably be a proud parent heheh.
Lol.

And how have you faced and/or overcome prejudice toward you (from anybody) for being gay?
My strategy for last year was to ignore it. I tried changing that this year but i quickly reverted to that strategy and it doesn't seem to be going too well for me. lol
Do you think that's the best way, for you at least, to deal with it?
Probably not but i can't manage to change it. The best i can do right now is look for support to help deal with it, even if only on the inside. My self-confidence is a work in progress too. I'm doing my best to be more confident in my physical presence (by doing things like getting contacts and losing weight etc).
That's great, doing what you are doing. Anything that helps you is a step forward, and your answer brings me to my next question...

What resources and other means of support have been available to you whilst growing-up?
My biggest support was my teacher, Mrs OC. I can talk to her about what i'm going through, and she is helping me the best she can. She also told me about the gay youth group in my city, which i've been to a few times. Unfortunately, Mrs. OC is on long-service leave this year, so i've been without her for a while.

What about other forms of support, like the internet, groups/forums. Or, your blog and on-line friends?
Oh yeah! I don't know what i'd do without my online support. It means the world to me, seriously. It's just beyond words. I can't describe it.

I know that people lean on you, but are there any people on-line that you can lean on?(I mean people you can really talk to.)
Yes. A couple who i really trust.
That's good, you need that trust.

I know you've visited the Gay Youth Group, but do you feel there are enough organisations (like drop-in centres that you could visit) in your locality to help the GLBT community?
Not really. But i guess i can't expect that much from my small city.
Would you use them if there was, or would you be too embarrassed, ashamed or paranoid (in case somebody you knew saw you enter one) to visit them anyway?
Haha. Well im already out, so people seeing me enter isnt a problem. But yes, i would look into them.

And how do you think the Internet has helped gay/bi people since it really became mainstream in the 90’s?
Heaps! It's given people in remote places a way to find support, just like it did for me. Not to mention how it helps some people to accept themselves more, and all that icky stuff to do with teen suicide. It gives people support, and that's what gays and bi's need.

Try to imagine what it was like to be gay/bi (say 30+ years, and more, ago) and have no resources or support structure at all. Even if you lived in a major city, access to any resources were few and far between. Being gay/bi was taboo and to admit to being it was generally an invitation to ridicule and abuse, you literally took your life in your hands if you were open about your sexuality.

How do you think you would have coped with growing up in those times?
It wouldn't have been easy, to say the least. I can imagine it would have been scary for a lot of people. I guess there would have been a lot of horny guys back then too *jokes* hehe.
Lol. Good one!
*high fives all round*

If you had grown up through those times, what do you think your life would be like now?
I'd be sad i guess... sad that life had been so hard, and that i'd missed out on a lot of things by not having any support.

Ok, now I know we've talked a little about resources, but what do you think is the best resource, and why?
The internet...?
Hehe, is that a question or a statement?
Does the internet count? Cos it seems like a pretty obvious answer lol.
Yeah, it counts but what about other gay people, family, or yourself even?
Well the internet brings you closer to other gay people. People need to have support, and the internet can give everyone support... so that's my answer :)
That's fine. There is no right or wrong answer lol.
And also, the internet helps one to become a stronger person.
How?
By giving them support and advice, and help etc. Thus making one stronger, and improving other aspects of life. And, one can accept themself more... and then with more confidence, they will venture out in search of even more support... if ya know what i mean?
Yes, I do. And can all that be said for you then?
Yes.
Good.

Do you feel safer hiding behind anonymity?
Sure do!
Because of reasons you've given earlier on, or are there other reasons too?
I can say what i think and feel without worrying about people knowing who i am. I don't have to worry about reactions or something... i can't explain it any better lol.
That's fine. lol.

Do you want to have a family of your own?
Hmm... well i don't really think about it. It doesn't really fuss me what happens. I'm not against it or anything, just, whatever happens, happens, and it's cool.
Ok, but let's say for a moment you did want to... would you enter into a “fake” straight relationship to achieve this, or would you consider other options like adoption and surrogacy?
I wouldn't go into a fake straight relationship. I just think that doing that willingly just to get a child, is cruel and selfish. If i wanted to, i would adopt.

When growing up, were both mum & dad on the scene?
I never met my Dad. Mum's story was that he just 'ran away' before i was born, and we never spoke about it since.
How difficult has it been for you... not having a Father while growing up?
Hmm... It's hard to tell. I don't really have much to compare it to. It just became the norm for me, ya know?
Yes
lol

Have you ever felt jealousy towards your friends who have Fathers and "do stuff" with them?
Lol. Well of course, when i was much younger.

Do you think that not having your Father, or a male role model in your life has had an influence on your sexuality?
Nope.

Are any of your near relatives gay/bi?
My older cousin is.
Has he been able to help or support you in the past, if you've asked him that is?
I haven't asked, but i know he would if i did ask.
Do you get along with him ok then?
Yeah i guess, but we don't see each other much, or know each other that well.

So, drawing on your own experiences, what advice would you give to other gay/bi guys, especially the younger generation who may still be afraid to seek/ask for help?
Reach out! Take that first step and you will never look back. My first step was typing a nervous first entry into my blog, and look where that got me! Now i'm someone who people can turn to and lean on for support... hey that's funny :)
I started this blog looking for support, and now i've become support for other people.
*feels fuzzy inside* lol
Bless :)
:)

So… based on your life to date as a gay teenager:

If you could turn back time and live a new life there may be things you’d choose to do differently, or there may be things you’d change… things that are/were beyond your control.

Would you choose to be gay, bi or straight?
I would be gay, cos being gay is what i do best. Sexuality is such a big part of my life now, if i weren't gay, i wouldn't be me... and i love boys lol... I want one!
Lol.

Would you choose to live in a different place?
Yes. I would live in a big city like Melbourne, because where i am now is full of small-minded and immature people.

Would you choose to live in a different time?
I would live in the future cos i want to see robots and lasers and crap lol. But seriously, people would be more accepting in the future, so i wish i could live then. But i guess the 21st century is okay. It could be worse.

What would you choose to change about your parents?
O God... Mum's not perfect but she does her best. I won't say anything else.

If you don’t have any siblings would you choose to have some?
Yes! I grew up lonely, and always wished i had a brother or sister to play with.

What would you choose to change about your looks (from the neck up)?
Lol. Lots. Probably due to my image issues... self-confidence etc. I could write you a list :)
Go on then!
Ugh... nose, lips, eyelids, eyebrows, hair, skin, chin and jaw, teeth, ears too!
I thought I was bad lol.
:)
So what do you think is wrong with those?
Nose too big, lips too dry, eyebrows too thick, skin not clear enough, hair too weird and doesn't sit right, eyelids are a little wrinkly or something, my chin is too big, and teeth aren't that good either. Good?
Fab lol, thanks!

What would you change about the rest of your body?
Lol now you've got me started... pretty much everything, again! You want more detail, again?
Oh yes!
Ugh... hips are too wide, feet are like triangles but with huge arches, hands are too small and a bit boney, and everything else just looks weird or out of proportion... i'm a wreck lol.

What personality traits would you choose to lose?
Shyness and my physical issues, and maybe a couple of my OCD things lol.
Anything else?
Lol. Dont think so... i like my brain lol, and im glad i have the English skills i do.

What personality traits would you choose to have?
Confidence and some sort of sporting ability lol.

With the exception of things beyond our power to influence or control, our lives are shaped by the choices we make. Do you agree with this statement?
Yes i think so... i see people who are sad and lonely and i just think; i'm sure there's a way out!Everybody has the potential to be happy... EVERYBODY... but they need to stop sabotaging their own freakin lives and make an effort.

Do you think that choices and decisions are the same thing?
Aren't they?
Lol. I say yes, others disagree!
Well if you type 'synonyms for choice' into Google, im sure decision would come up lol... in fact i will!
Lol.
Heheh. 'Synonyms: alternative, appraisal, choosing, cull, cup of tea*, decision...' found it, i was right lol.

Finally, if it had been possible to make all the choices and changes in the answers above... what do you think your life would be like at this moment in time?
I can assume i would be happy. I think i had fair answers, considering i kept my personality which is what matters most. Other things would only help me to be happier.
And confidence would play a big part in that?
Yes.

Choice? Are you kidding me?

I missed another day's post... Sorry... I wish i could say that i had so much to do that i couldn't squeeze in the time to post, but to be honest i just got caught up playing a game. :P

So anyways, Mr. HCI's post got me thinking... and gave me the idea for tonight's post, which i guess is actually really personal... so i don't know why i'm posting it on the internet hahaha.



Now, people often ask when i found out i was gay...

Now that's a hard question, because it comes in 2 parts.

1 - When did i first have same-sex feelings?

2 - When did i actually admit to myself that i was gay?



Well, the answer to the first part would be around grade 4 or 5. One of the earliest 'gay' memories i remember is seeing a picture of a streaker in the paper and getting somewhat turned on.

There were a lot of situations like that... I would like to look at boys because i just... liked looking. But then i knew that boys were supposed to like girls... so i would look at girls and tell myself that i found them attractive.... basically, i did everything i could at that age to tell myself that i was straight and would get married and have kids and live a 'normal' life.

I was in complete denial.

I was also scared, because i did not want to be 'gay'. It was a scary concept to me. I didn't want to have something 'wrong' inside of me.

I hated it when i got aroused over boys and other times i told and told myself at any sexual female pictures that i found them attractive.

Eventually i started to tell myself that i was bisexual. I told myself that... okay... i guess i like boys, but i HAVE to like girls as well because there simply is no other option.

I could still get married and live my life, and i would just forget about boys altogether. Things would be 'normal' for me.

That went on for a long time, even though for most of that i was wanking over boys.



Slowly, without even realising it i guess, i just stopped thinking about it and kept doing what i was doing - admiring guys and not caring about girls, although i still told myself i would be with a girl.

I just stopped thinking about it.



But it wasn't until just 2 years ago that i actually admitted that i was, in fact, gay.

I just told myself to stop hating myself and that i just COULD NOT change it. It was like giving myself a slap in the face.

I was being STUPID. I was too smart to keep fucking myself around like this!

And that was it.

From that point on, i was gay, and okay with it. And i grew to accept it more and more.



So there is nothing that makes me angrier, than people saying that sexuality is a CHOICE.

(Bear with me here)

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE CHOOSE TO BE GAY?! IT'S SO FUCKING HARD!! We have to put up with endless shit from small-minded pricks who don't know what the fuck they're on about but still feel it is their obligation to pass judgement on us!! We have to put up with taunts and jokes and bullying because of it!! Why would someone CHOOSE to go through all this turmoil?!

*takes a breath... regains composure... resets font size.

It just makes my blood boil that people think we can choose, because i think that if sexuality was a choice, we would have a lot less gay people. I'm not saying that we're not happy being gay, but it's just so freakin hard being this way.

While i was finding out who i was, i literally prayed that i would be straight. If i had a choice, OF COURSE i would have picked heterosexuality so i could fit in with everyone else.

If i had the choice now? Well... i'm old enough to realize that this is an important part of me and makes me who i am today, and has given me a much more mature and accepting view of the world and all the people in it.

So i am happy to be gay.

I am me and i am gay. If i was not gay, i would be a totally different person who'd gone through such a different experience.



Plus... i still haven't gotten to cuddle a boy yet... and i bet that when i do, i'll be praising the heavens that i'm this way. hahaha



===>mirrorboy<===

My head and my (lack of) lust.

The poll results are in.

Story stuff - 15%
Stuff about Aus - 9%
More vids and pics - 10%
More about me - 43%
More about boys - 21%

The clear winner was me. Obviously i'm just so awesome that you can't get enough of me. ;D

2nd was boys... and that's the opposite of me... o_O

That's a little confusing, but oh well, i'll try to add a bit more of them in too. :P

Then the others came in at about equal 3rd, still with a decent amount of votes. There are people out who want to hear about or see them as well, so i will post about them soon too. :)



But as promised, here's a personal post about me. :)


You may have gathered from the title that this post is about 'lust', as in 'sexual desire'.

Well to be honest, i don't think that i have strong sexual desires.

My dick doesn't go up easily. I don't get turned on easily. It takes a long time for me to reach orgasm. Things that turn other people on don't do it for me.

I wank and stuff... and I CAN get turned on, but only through pretty hard porn (i'm NOT talking about any extreme stuff here) just a lot of moaning... moaning does it for me i guess, and i have a few kinks, but it always takes me a long time.

This isn't just with my dick, it's in my head. I just don't get really turned on.

I don't know... this makes me think that i'm not even capable of sex, because i'm just not a sexual being, i think.

I am much more into 'eye candy' than other porny stuff. I don't really care that much for porn actually. It's just so much harder for me.

And i don't think i'd be able to 'get there' in sex...



So sex doesn't matter to me. I could easily live without it, honestly.

But the problem is... sex DOES matter to a lot of other people... so that means... umm... i just don't think i could satisfy someone because that part of the relationship would be missing.

Great... So if i do find 'that boy' i won't be enough for him.

I just wish i could be normal. :/



Yeah. That's mirrorboy for ya...

Always just another thing standing in the way of happiness.

===>mirrorboy<===