I Love You All. :P

:O I Love Mirrorboy Day. :O

Wow. Well uhh. Thank you so much. O_O That was totally unexpected, but a very, very nice surprise. :)

The reason i ever started a blog was to find some acceptance and support. I've gotten all of that and so much more. Blogworld has been so important to me and my life, so if there was anything i could do to bring some of that magic to other people's lives i would do it. I'm glad i seem to have been able to do that.



I know everyone made their posts in the hopes of cheering me up, but to be honest, i don't need cheering up at all. Today and yesterday held a lot of firsts, the sorts of firsts that i've ached for as long as i can remember. So right now, life is going just fine. :)

Again, being a part of blogworld is my pleasure.

Thanks everyone. <3

Fanks.

Sorry i haven't been posting much. I haven't been thinking about blogs at all. And i forgot about the 400,000 views post too, so i'll just say,

THANKS FOR ALL THE VIEWS ^_^

lol

My life isn't very exciting so i haven't got much to post about. It's all just more of the same, and you've heard it all before. So meh. :P

And i don't have as much time for blogs any more. I guess i'm getting old (in blog years at least). Maybe it's time to move on. Maybe...

Ah Jeez.

There aren't words to explain how i feel right now. I'm so touched and honoured and humbled by all the love you've shown me today and yesterday. The Daily Jizzt's post is simply amazing and i'll never forget it.

I will try not to make this into another of those annoying reflective posts about how much my life has changed. :P

'Thank you' isn't enough. The people i've met through blogging have made me a different, better, person. I've grown so much, and i've grown a lot stronger. I've learnt to accept myself as a gay person because of you. If it weren't for the people i've met through blogging, i would probably be dead.

But i'm still here. Because of your support i made it.

Now i'm happy to call myself a blogger. And i'll be around for a while yet, to give support. I will stick around because i want to make a difference in people's lives, like you have to mine. I will help people who need help, because i know how much of a difference that online help can make.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading. Thank you for your support. Thank you for the emails. Thank you for being my friends.

My life is back on track now after the hardest 12 months of my life. All i can do now is wonder about what the year ahead will hold.

And i'd like to share it with you, if you'll have me. :)

<3

Okay after this i'll go back to proper posts, i swear. :P

Birthday.

Happy Blog-Birthday Mirrorboy.

Thank you so much to everyone who's been my friend and supported me over the last 12 months. I can't begin to describe how much it, and all of you, mean to me.

I've come a long way. I almost didn't make it, but somehow i did. And now life is finally starting to look up for me.

The exposure treatment for my S.A.D with my psychologists is working. I'm more comfortable in social situations, i can do things on my own more, and my anxiety is generally lower than before.

My school is going well. The schoolwork is going fine, although i did get heaps of homework today. :P

I'm talking to the people in class, and most of them are quite nice. In fact they surprised me the other day. For the speech we had to do in English on a controversial topic, one of the girls chose same-sex marriage (she was for it btw). As usual, we discussed it afterwards, and the people are actually pretty accepting. I was quite proud of them to be honest. :)

I also heard back from the radio station today. They accepted my application and in 3 weeks i'll be doing work experience there.

On top of that, today was the last day of term, so i get a 2-week break from school. :D

The layout of the blog has changed. The blog links are updated. And a big thank you to deejohn for the bday present (the blog header). :)

And massive thanks to all of you for your continued support and love!

All About You.

*crap this took me 3 and a half hours!! lol*

People seem to be put off talking to me because they feel like i've got many other people to talk to.

Well you can never have too many friends. Hopefully this week of posts has shown you just how much having friends means to me.

This is probably gonna be long, but i wanna thank everyone that i've met through blogging who's made an impact on my life. If it weren't for the people i've met through blogging, i probably wouldn't be here.

This as also for all you who keep complaining that you don't get a mention. :P



Landyn - You're my favourite person in the whole world and when you hurt i hurt. I would do anything for you. I hope things get better for you because seeing you happy would make me so happy.

AJ - You're my best friend. We've been through so much together and i'm sure we will for many days to come.

Jake - lol. If it wasn't for you being in my life things would have taken a much different turn. You had a huge part in making me who i am today. lol

Bob - You're like a father to our blog community. You've got everyone's backs and i hope you know just how important you are and how much of a difference you make.

Lach - You gave me my first hug. ^_^ Hanging out with you was a lot of fun. You helped me feel more... normal. When i move to Melbourne i hope we'll see each other a lot more.

Deadwing - You're one of my best friends. I'm glad to have made a difference in your life, i just wish things could be easier for you too. I hope when you get down, you'll just remember how far you've come.

James - We've had our ups and downs, but you're still one of my firm friends and you've helped me a lot. I'll always be here for you and i know you will for me too.

Drew - There are some things i can only talk to certain people about, because i know they'll understand. I trusted you with some very personal thoughts and i know you've done the same. You're a good friend. :)

Joshie - You helped me during a rough time and i think that's when we grew a lot closer. I'll always be happy to repay the favour. Also, you dyed your hair pink and that makes anyone awesome in my book. :P

Wawwy - You's such cutenesh. ^_^ I loves talking to you. Is always interesting and funness. Fun is a good word to describe you. :P

Elliott - You were one of the first people to add me on msn and we've been friends since. On top of that, you were the first person i've met through the blog to talk to me on the phone, which is always fun. ^_^

Reilly - We have a huge amount in common. We've shared a lot of personal stuff with each other too. I'm really glad i met you.

Cutie Dan - Though if i said 'Cutie' you would immediately think it was you anyway, i bet. ;) You're a lot of fun to talk to and i love your hair. :P

Benji - You're adorable. You're so sweet and cute. J'adore Benji. :P Don't be so down on yourself. You're a great guy and things will get easier for you, i'm sure. I'll always be here to support you either way.

Matt - You're my good friend too. Memories? Playing uno against each other on msn. lol. But seriously you're cool and i like talking to you. :)

Steve - We don't talk much outside blogging but when you talk you always provide such a good and intellectual opinion. Whenever i make a thoughtful post i always look forward to your comments.

Aek - For an Asian you sure can be dumb sometimes. lol. You're a good person though, very helpful. Thanks for helping me with some of my medical problems too. Woo free advice. lol

Seth - One of my first linkers, and you gave me a big boost. You're very caring and to me blogworld would be a very different place without you in it.

Naturgesetz - I love that you're part of our community. I really value your opinion on the religious side of things. We've had some good discussions. :)

Mr. HCI - You're like a kid on the inside. lol. I know you'd always be willing to offer support to anyone you could. You're nice, and funny, and generally a great guy. :)

Steevo - You always say it how you see it. That's an important trait. Other than that, you helped me a lot during my rough times and i'll always be grateful.

AgentK - You're such an amazing kid. I hate it that you've been hurt so much. I hope you get some love you deserve.

Louie - It was great having someone to talk to about my writing, and i liked hearing about yours. We'll have to catch up soon. Next time i see you online i'll say hai. :)

Peter from PA - The compulsive video-poster. lol. We don't talk much but when we did it was always fun. We have some good memories. :P

Jeremy - We never seem to say much but we're still good friends. lol. You're good to talk to and always good for some lols. :)

Spastic Fantastic - You're also lotsa fun to talk to. Even though it seems we mostly talk about TV, game and movies. :P

Randy - I loved getting comments from you on my writing blog. I knew when you didn't like something you would tell me straight. That's what i really wanted and i grew as a writer because of you.

Kiwi/Chris - You're sweet and funny and you gave me the most helpful advice when i was writing. You also had a great blog which is missed. I doubt you'll even be reading this, but i hope you're doing okay.

David ex-Westasian - You had the best picture blog i knew. You had great tastes, and similar interests in many things other than boys. You were one of my most popular bloggers and i was so amazed that my blog was being read by someone 'famous'. You also gave me a birthday present which i'll never forget.

Victor - I'm glad you kept in touch because i always like hearing about how you're doing and your emails are always a pleasure to read. You're a smart, honest person and i'm glad we're friends.

David JB - I always love hearing your feedback on stuff i blog about. It's really nice that you take the time to email me so often and care about me. Thanks a lot.

Robert in the USA - We don't see each other that often but when we do i feel like we have a strong connection. You're a really sweet guy.

Zee - We've had some interesting discussions (arguments). :P You're so bloody stubborn and that's why i love you.

Torchy - You're another important part of our blog community and i'm glad you're around. On top of that you're really funny and your posts are almost always lolable.

Nick - I've seen that that people you've met through blogging has helped you to accept yourself more, and i'm so happy to have been a part of that. I wish you all the best. :)

John in the USA - You've been emailing me for so long now it seems like you've been with me from the start. We've had our disagreements but i'm glad i've gotten to know you.

John in Aus - The writer. Thanks for being my proofreader when i still had my writing blog. I dunno what i would have done without you. I also remember all those horrible, horrible jokes. *shakes head*

Tyler GBIH - You're really cool and funny. You've also got an amazing ass. ;D But seriously, we recently found out we've got a lot in common so no doubt we'll be talking a lot more.

Tyler DIML - And you've got an amazing face! lol. Talking to you is always entertaining. You're a really smart guy too.

Mike - Talking to you is always good times. We've got heaps in common, like 2 jigsaw pieces. :)

Jayson - You kept an eye out for the bloggers and were always supportful.

Col - One of my biggest memories of blogging was when you interviewed me. It was a great idea of yours to do those interviews. You were also super-nice and really caring and i'm sorry that you disappeared.

Doomed BC - He who types in huge paragraphs. lol. You're a really nice, caring guy.

Aahsazyl - You're just plain strange. lol. And you're so lovable because of it. :P

Baz - You gave me some good writing advice and you always tell it how it is.

Lance - We've had some ups and some major downs. But i do care about you and i hope you're doing okay.

Hayden - When we first met i thought you were a bit strange, but you're really a nice guy. :P

Justin - You were the only one who knew how to get that game of mine to work. You can call in that favour any time. ;)

Olivia - You're still the only girl on my msn. lmao. You're wicked-cool and i still remember the poem you wrote for me during my rough time. It was really sweet. :)

Tristan - You were really helpful during my first days as a blogger and your words of advice were really important to me.

Tom ex-Daily Jizzt - Tommy Toppy or Tommy Bottomy. Works either way. xD. You had a great sense of humour and you were also really nice and caring. I miss you.

Chris from Aus - You're a really smart guy and i like talking to you. We share a lot of opinions on things too.

Paulie - You're funny, you're sweet and you're hot. ;)

Peter PH - You're a really nice guy. I remember that you'd always send me those funny story things, and that was always fun. And we've got very similar tastes in boys. :)

And Grant - Thanks for all the awesome smileys. lol



I really do hope i didn't miss anyone. lol

300,000 Views. ^_____^

Congratulations, me!

*pops open a bottle of cheap champagne, breaks light with cork*

Eeep.

Anyways, i wanna thank all of you who read my blog, and comment, and email me. The effort you put in just to contact me, lets me know that people are actually reading and caring. If it weren't for you i wouldn't be blogging at all. :)

I know i said i'd post about my coming out experience, but i realised that the post would take a huge amount of effort, because it is a long story, and lately i've been really busy. I seem to have many responsibilities around blogworld recently. I just don't really have time to make a post like that. Sometime in the future though, yes.

This is just a thank you post, and a celebration post.

Blog mascot, Fatcat, gives his love and fanks. :)

It Wasn't A Bad Day.

lol. Yeah, i survived. :)

I was still really nervous and everything, but i didn't feel like people were judging me and i didn't make an idiot of myself, which are things i worry about.

I was pretty highly-strung today though. I couldn't help that. I overthink things too much.

I haven't made any friends yet. That's something i struggle with too.

But it's good that we don't have to wear school uniforms (i feel much more relaxed in my own clothes). The teachers i had today were pretty nice. The maths teacher was helpful and was constantly walking around the room to help people (which i didn't see at my old school). The atmosphere was more relaxed. The hours won't be as long and i'll get Fridays off too (at least for the next few weeks).

I can't tell if things will work out yet, but a day here was marginally better than a day at my old school. :P

I got home tired after what felt like a really long day. I was lying in bed watching TV at around 7 o'clock and i actually fell asleep for half an hour. I must have been tired for realsies cos i never do that.



Shortly after school i went to my gay youth group thingy. We had more people show up this time than usual and that was good. Everyone there is really nice and going there is something fun to do. We're currently making a poster for our group that we can put up in schools and around the city so that people who might need a group like this, can know that we exist.



Thanks for the comments and emails. It means a lot. I'll get around to responding to emails once i have time. Right now, i just don't feel like sitting here for an hour typing replies. But i've read everything and it does mean a lot, so thanks.

Okay, i'm off. I'm tired. I would have posted earlier but my Mum wouldn't let me have the computer. :/

much love

It's My Birthday (in case you didn't already know). :P

Yeah woot woot. :P

I didn't do much. After my psych appointment Mum bought me a Wii game, and then we did grocery shopping and had dinner with my Grandma at a restaurant.

Probly the best thing though, was all the love you guys showed me.

I really wasn't expecting anything, but you guys were really sweet. :)

I got texts from people with my number, emails from readers and friends and some of you bloggers even made posts for me. *feels really really special* :)

A big THANK YOU to everyone who cared about me.

Here are some of my fav posts. :D


AJ. My best buddy. loves u heaps :)

Col Col Cauliflower. ;)

Tylerrrrrrrrr. Posted some hair pics for me. :D

DW. One of my best pals. :)

Seth knows what mboy likes. ^_^

That's right i refer to myself in 3rd person. lol

And this freakin awesome post from deejohn of westasian. Pure awesomeness. *loves* ^_^

Much love everyone, from mboy. I'm honoured to know you all. :)

Also note, i changed my profile pic again. :P

Plugs and B'days.

Oh hai!

Thanks for all the comments on my last post. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy. lol ^_^

It did take a week's worth of effort, so your comments made it feel worth it. Thanks. :)



Unfortunately while i was working on the super-post i couldn't plug any blogs and we've had a couple new ones join the community recently. In most cases, if bloggers don't get an audience soon, they'll just disappear, and we don't want that!!

These guys have only made a dozen posts each so now's a good time to get on board and make them feel welcome!

Coming Out (On The Net) - By AJ. He's 16 and bi. :)

Beneath An Orange Sky - By Joe. He's 16 and gay. :)



Also, there are a bunch of birthdays in May!

Jake - 8th.

AJ - Today! Happy birthday buddy!

Aek - 21st.

Me! - 22nd.

And i'm sure there were others... but i can't remember them at the moment. lol. Leave a comment if yours is in May and i'll add you to the list! :P



That is all for now. :)

love

I Will Survive.

Hai.

Feeling a bit better.

The issues i have about myself - they're things i can work on with the psychologists i'm seeing. They're gonna take a long time to deal with properly but i've got a lot of time to give and i'm doing the best i can under tough circumstances.

Someone i could just hold would probably help a lot and squish a lot of my worries, unfortunately i just haven't found anyone yet. :/

My social skills are pretty crap so i've got a long way to go. :/!

I should say thanks for all the support though (comments and some of those masssssivve emails lol). I'm glad i've got you guys to lean on. I dunno where i'd be without you.

I was looking back on something blog-related i said a while ago by chance, and some of the stuff i was talking about really related to me. I said something along the lines of everyone has the ability to be happy and there is a solution to every problem you could possibly have, and people should stop worrying about things they can't change and focus more on the positive etc. etc.

If only i could take my own advice sometimes...



I went to the gay youth group again today. The people there are really funny and nice and we're doing some cool stuff. Unfortunately the meetings won't be back on for a few weeks until after the Easter break. :/

Anyways the woman who runs it is really helpful and caring. After the meeting was over we talked about school and stuff and she said that if i ever need to talk i could call her anytime. (I know a lot of you were asking if i had anyone i could talk to in real life if i needed to, so the answer is yes.)



BY THE WAYYYYYY I'm heading down to Melbourne for a few days around Easter time! :O

I love Melbourne. It's where i'm going to move as soon as i'm old enough. What's good now is the fact i'll get a break from this place for a while. Mum even says i can meet up with a few people down there too! ...Only if i already know you online though. No pedos suddenly raising their hands are gonna get a visit from me. lol



That's enough for now. My mind's going all over the place and i keep making spelling mistakes. :/

love.

Random stuff about my life, again. :P

- I can say fairly confidently that the sources of yesterday's sore neck were my new pillows.

After i slept on my old ones last night, i felt much better this morning. I'll keep my new ones though, cos they look really gay in their pink and purple satin pillow-cases. ^_^

- On Wednesday i've got my contacts appointment at the optometrist. I'll be trying them out and i'm hoping that my eyes will be able to tolerate them... So if all goes well, from Wednesday, i won't have to wear my glasses anymore. :)

*praaaaaaays

- Unfortunately i can't personally thank the 8 people who sent me Amazon moneys recently cos i don't have all of your email addresses. However, it does mean a lot to me that you all care so much. So thanks so much! I'll put it to good use. Promise. <3

- I've become an obsessive smiley user on msn. Watch out. lol - Mum's sitting out here in the kitchen while i'm typing, looking through a magazine and reading out articles to me... like her horoscope... -_-

- I giggle like a little boy when i use Photoshop to alter pictures of my cats so they have massive eyes and such...

- Oh, and i also giggled my head off when one of the short Wallace & Gromit movies was on TV the other night. It was 'The Wrong Trousers'. Seriously, if you have seen Wallace & Gromit and do not absolutely looooove it, you do not have a soul. Gromit is my MSN pic for now. <3

I used to watch them all the time when i was a really young kid growing up. When i watched it again the other night i felt like i was young and carefree again. The memories...

I will always love them.

- Also on memories, all my life Christmas had been a happy time for me. I think it always seemed to be the general 'air' of Christmas that made me happy...

This year, i'm kind of... meh... This one's gonna suck.

We have no decorations or tree whatsoever, so now the 'air' just smells of strong incense. *sneezes

I'm going to be getting very few presents from anyone... I think Nan's getting me a razor. Oh... uhh woot...

And Mum will be paying me $400!!

That she borrowed from ME half a year ago... gah!!

If i'm lucky she said she might get me wireless internet though, so that's cool. :)

- Heheh... Well i'm still positive. Christmas may be 'meh' but i'm in a generally good mood. It's amazing what a break from school can do for me. I'm actually in a good mood! Can you believe it?!

I see things very differently now compared to when i had school every weekday... I'm just chilling out, and having fun. It's nice. :)



- That's about it for now, although i just posted a few more cat pics before this... It's easier than putting them with this because the writing around pictures always f**ks up for me. lol :)

So... yeah... lol

This was perhaps my latest post, ever. :P

I need sleep... =_=



lotsa love,

===>mirrorboy<===

Kind of sucks.

Well... let's face it. These times are slow blog times. There ain't that much to do online, so i've got to find things to do in the 'real world'. lol

I've been working on my story, but i kind of led myself into a hard place where i'm stuck, so i'm giving it a rest for now.

There's also the fact that i slept in a really weird position last night, and when i woke up this morning, my neck was so sore... and it's been hurting all day. Even when i look up now, it just goes *BANG PAIN

I'm kind of limited in what i can do i guess... In other words, i don't feel like doing much. lol

I guess that's okay, cos that's what my plan for the holidays is - not do much. Just chill out. :)



Most of my best online friends are gone or busy... So that kinda sucks... I miss them all. :(

Also, it seems like everybody i know is sad. Poor things...

Is that some sort of lame coincidence, or am i just some sort of depression magnet? :P



Oh well. I'm gonna stay positive. Life sucks in general for all of us but if we all thought positively, we'd all be happier, wouldn't we?

I've never really tried positive before, but recently i've been giving it a go. It's actually pretty decent. That's why i've decided i will be positive from now on. :)

Moods are contagious. Hopefully i can cheer up some of my friends who aren't having the best of times. Aren't i so sweet? lol



Oh yeah... and i guess a big THANK YOU to the five people who sent me Amazon credit after reading Matt's blog. Wow... It was actually a surprise to me lol. Heehee well you're all really sweet. :)

Thanks to Matt and AJ too, who are the sweetest of them all. :)



That's it... Mboy needs to relax...

G'night all,

===>mirrorboy<===

Thank you.

Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgghhh...


Well. I just spent the last 2-3 hours writing reply emails to everyone who emailed me after my last couple of posts because they cared about me.

It makes me feel warm inside to know that there are actually people out there who genuinely care about me.

So i'm taking this opportunity just to say a big...

THANK YOU!!

to EVERYONE who cares about me, whether you emailed me or commented on the blog, or talked to me on msn, or just wished me luck, because without you i would be in a very bad place, let's face it.

You mean so much to me that you wouldn't believe it. I am so incredibly thankful to be here and have met you all.



And... that is ENOUGH writing for now. My mind is blank.

I need a shower.

===>mirrorboy<===

The minority's problem, and how stupid are they?

Yes, i've had to develop a thick skin quickly, and i think i've done quite well to be honest.

Like a baby bird i was pushed from the nest, and i suddenly had to learn how to fly. The wind was pushing me down, but i held my head high, and from now on the wind will brush off my back and i will lift ever higher.

Lol let's hope so. ;)


I apologize for my 'suicidal' post down there, but i do like to wallow in my own pity (don't we all?)

Anyways, i do feel like i'm in a better mood than before, and already i feel stronger, so don't worry about me and my knives - i don't think we actually have any sharp enough ones anyway. :P


At school, i haven't actually talked to OC yet. I didn't feel the immediate need to today, but i like to know that if things do get bad, i have options. I've decided that if things get too much in a classroom, i'm just going to walk out (it hasn't gotten near that stage yet though). I'm not going to put up with crap.

If i'm having a bad day i'll just go up to the office and ask to talk to OC, and i know she will help me. I actually had a dream about her last night, in which i told her about my sexuality, and then she told me that she was a lesbian! Hahaha i don't think that's gonna happen though. :P


I've got lots of emails to respond to, and i'll try to get around to that soon. You took the time to send me one (sometimes more than one) when i was sad and the least i can do is say thanks. :)

Speaking of which, a big THANK YOU to all the sweeties who left supportive comments on the blog and sent emails and private messages and such... I did actually read all of them and i think that your love and support is a big part in me getting through this, so thank you!!

I will do my best to make all of you (and myself) proud of me.


Oh, and as for those stupid comments from 'anonymous', just don't respond to them. I don't know what that dickhead is trying to accomplish... cos after what i've gone through recently, no words on a screen from some loser are going to affect me. Any more and i'll just delete them. :)


Anyways,

I started working on my story again, which i hadn't been able to in the past week or so due to the way i was feeling. I think that writing is the best therapy of all for me. Writing is my life, which you all know, so when i'm doing something good with my words it helps me to feel better.

Unfortunately i'm finally up to the war in my story which i've been building up to for 170,000 words, and i SUCK big-time at writing wars! I can really only write small skirmishes and duels, so this is really going to test my skills...

Also, the recent chapters have been hard because i'm missing two of my main characters (one of whom is my favourite, and a joy to write for because he is just so troubled) Coltrane and Klax, who were thrown into the enemy prison. Coltrane was the traitor to his people, and although he was doing bad things (and committed some awful crimes) it was an absolute delight to play around with him because he had such amazing storylines.

When they finally escape and make it back, i will be so happy. ;D


Moving on...

Care about me, pray for me, wish me luck and worry about me, but don't fear for me.

I am strong.

I am a good person.

I have dealt with so much - stuff that the other imbeciles could never cope with.

So i will be okay.


Again, thank you for your support.

love,

===>mirrorboy<===

A lot to deal with. Deal with, i must. I am not dead, for now. Tomorrow? We will see.

I needed a break.

To arrange my mind.

A decision to make.

I needed some time.


But now i am back.

And i missed my friends.

Messages, emails, comments in stacks.

Many replies i must send.


A wave of love.

And a flood of support.

Like angels from above.

Of many assort.


With a circle of friends as amazing as this.

What do i care if school isn't bliss?


F**k the small-minded, it's their loss.

I've decided i really don't give a toss.


And those who accept me, like Matthew my bestie,

Will stick with me closely, and for that i am lucky.


Still, if things do wrong, and i cannot belong,

I will think of my real friends, and i will be strong.



Hmm... I dunno how i came up with that. It must be that creative talent i'm always boasting about. :P

As i said, i took a break.

I went to Matthew's house and we just hung out. At night we had a good talk, about me, obviously.

It was really nice. I didn't give him enough credit. Although he was shocked when i first told him about me (even though i had no choice) he said it sank in, and he's okay with it.

We talked about how i knew, and about my Mum finding out, and who i was attracted to. I also said i had zero interest in him sexually or romantically. I think he was a little disappointed. :P


Anyways, then i got back, and i had a bunch of comments and emails from my readers, plus a bunch of MSN friends who i've still got to catch up with. I know that a lot of people are worried about me, and as i can't talk to everyone, because i just don't have enough time, i'll tell you how i am, through my blog.

I've decided, that i will be okay.

Does that sound funny?

Quite simply, i've decided, that whatever happens - whether my sexuality is kept a secret between me and my friends, or everyone finds out, i will be okay.

Whatever happens, happens. I will deal with it.


I have a sort of... motto for dealing with things.

If things seem like they're awful, i just imagine where i'll be in a few weeks time.

THINGS SORT THEMSELVES OUT.

I'm not going to worry so much that i'll end up ripping my hair out and crying myself to sleep. My sexuality is not a big issue, and that is the 'plan' i will go to school tomorrow with. It's not a big deal. I will tell my friends, that they've been friends with me for years, and i've been gay that whole time. The only difference between then and now, is that now they know. I am still the same person.

If that's not good enough for them, they can get f**ked. And i will tell them that they are childish, small-minded pricks who i don't want anything to do with.

And i'll make some other friends, who know the real me - friends who i don't have to pretend around.

That is that.

I will be okay.

It's not a big deal.


Now, onto something else. I've reached the 10,000 views mark. :)

That's amazingly hard for me to comprehend. I never thought that so many people out there (around the world) would be interested in what a 15yo kid from a small town in Australia had to say.

But it makes me very happy, and the friendships that i've made through this blog have been incredible. And they came at a good time.

Without YOUR support i would be completely terrified. I would also be alone - alone, and lonely.

Without you guys, i would be in a very dark place right now.

But i am accepted, and that will help me when i am scared or sad.

I have hundreds of friends who understand and care.

The next time i'm in my dark place, i know i have a lot of beautiful, caring, loving, amazing friends to turn to. For that, i am eternally grateful.


Look out for my post tomorrow. I'll let you know how the hugest day in my life so far goes.

love,

===>mirrorboy<===

And thus, all good things must come to an end...

That's right.

Don't get freaked out by the title, the blog's not ending, but my holidays are. :P

They were the best holidays i've ever had, but that's no credit to me.

It's all thanks to the awesome guys who've been so very very kind to me. I hope you guys know just how much you mean to me.


The one who helped me when i started - Jake Anon. You may be incredibly sarcastic and have a bizarre sense of humour but i love ya, and you were the first link me, back when i was having 5 views a day. That meant a lot.

The one who befriended me when i was lonely - Lach. You made me smile and laugh, and you know more about me than some of my best 'friends'. You've helped me through a dark time in my life as well and i love you so much for it.

The ones who became my friends through the blog - Elliot and KS. They're both a little self-conscious, and they're both my age, and they're both really sweet and funny and i'm honoured to have you as my friends.

The other bloggers who happily linked to me when i asked, or who asked me first! - Peter, Landyn, Seth and Tristan. We've shared some e-mails and a few good times. They've given me advice and hopefully they've listened to some of mine. You are all so very nice to me and you let me leech off your popularity as well. :P

My wonderful commenters like Steevo and Victor keep me on my toes. It's nice to know that people care enough about what i'm writing to write a response. We've had a few good chats for sure.

There are a lot of other people, too many to mention, but i want to thank everyone else who's linked or commented, or even just read the thing. I'm sure i'll be your friend someday as well. :P



Now, as it is the end of the holidays, that means i won't be able to post as often. I'll try to do at least one every day, but that depends on whether my mum's working or not, because we use the same pc. We also have to take into account homework and just being too worn out. If i miss a day or two, i'll try to do a double or triple post the next time to catch up. :)

Tomorrow, for 6 and a half hours, i will have to revert back to 'straight' me.

I will not be able to be myself again. I will have to put up with the same old crap, and i won't be able to talk to my favourite buddies. I'm not the most popular kid in school and that doesn't help either, but i'm sure i'll come out of it alive.

And i'll try to let you all know how it goes. :)

Wish me luck guys,

love,

===>mirrorboy<===