I'm baaaaaacck.

It is so fuckin good to be behind a keyboard again. Blogging from a mobile phone was so lame! Both the 'end call' button and the 'cancel' button were between the clear/backspace button and the 'go right' button. So sometimes i would have to write a post 3 or 4 times cos i kept accidentally deleting the thing! And i could only type about a letter every second. It was so hard to say what i wanted to say! In comments too, and emails. So much stuff i wanted to do, but i just couldn't because so many things didn't work on mobile internet.

Anyways, it feels so good to be behind a keyboard again and to have the internet! :D

I thought it would be nice to be 'home' again, but arriving home i just felt so... eh. I didn't ever want to leave Melbourne. It was just so fucking amazing. And i feel like i belong there! Not here, where i feel crushed and restrained.

The trip was fantastic. And what i got from it is beyond words. There, i actually felt good about myself. And i never feel good about myself! What i mean is, i wasn't cripplingly self-conscious. I wasn't disgusted when i looked in a mirror. My heart didn't race when i went outside cos i was so worried about how i looked. I didn't feel so hopeless and pathetic all the time. Cos that's what this town does to me. It makes me feel like shit every day. But Melbourne was so... different! And i will be back soon!!! One day i will catch the train and not come back.

I'm in love with it! It blew my mind. It gave me hope when i was hitting the bottom. I feel like a new person, and now i have something to aim for. I will not sit here at home and wallow in sadness and frustration. I will work for what i want. One day i will get it. And one day i will be in a place where i fit in.

The best thing was the diversity. Seriously, there are hardly any blacks or asians here, and nothing like muslims. But in Melb there was every type of person under the Sun. And it was amazing. I can see why people there are so open-minded compared to my own town. In Melb, you see all sorts of people every day. Here, those people are ridiculed and laughed at. Just like gays.

As you can see, i could talk about it forever. I just want you to understand how different and new this was to me. This is a trip that changed my life for the better on a huge scale. I am a new person!



So while we were there we went to the Melbourne Museum, went to the Chill City Concert, went shopping in huge places, went up the Eureka Tower at night, saw the fire show along the Yarra River, went up to the Dandenongs while it was raining, walked along the St Kilda beach, saw Luna Park and took dorky photos, and just took in all the sights and sounds and tastes.

Took heaps of photos too but there are so many i'll make a post just for them tomorrow.

I also met up with one of my online friends and his boyfriend and we spent the day together. That was really cool - to see a gay person in real life! lol. He was really nice and i know he's reading this and he's really sexy too. :)

Bought my first mobile phone and used up all the credit, got a recharge, and used up all the credit again. lol. Stupid internet!

Also bought an Ipod, and a bunch of games, and heaps of clothes, and sunglasses, and shoes. And hair gel and stuff. lol

Also, my cousin had 100's of channels on his TV. That was awesome. ^_^

The weather was great and sunny the whole time. And for once, during a trip, i wasn't sick or tired or sore.

Everything was... perfect.

I can honestly say, they were the best, and most important, 5 days of my life. And without them i probably would have given up hope on ever being something and shrunk away from life and reality until i just was crushed beyond help and suicided or something.

Okay. Now i'm back here. The plan is to make it through until i've got some sort of plan to move there. That's all i have to do. Just tough out everything life throws at me until i can leave. And i think after that trip to Melb, i may just have the strength to make it.



I can't wait to catch up with all of you and your blogs. While i was gone, some people seemed to get the impression that i hate them or something. I dont know how the hell that happened. I don't hate anyone. MB LOVES ALL lol. So i've got a lotta internet stuff to sort out.

It can wait though. I'm gonna go relax. :)



Remember, no matter how shit life is, there is always hope!

Lotsa love!