Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Smile... Laugh... Cry...

Ugh... I think i'm getting all depressed and crap again. I'll try not to bore you with all the details but i don't feel like posting about anything else.

So school is SUCKING MAJORLY right now. By the end of the day i just want to collapse and disappear from this awful world.

I don't want to talk about it, so please don't inundate me with worried emails! I know you all care, and that's really sweet, but i kind of don't want advice from people who don't know the situation. I hope you understand. :/

BUT... i did make an appointment with the counsellor, again. (The previous time was for truancy.) I also talked to my form coordinator about the shit i was dealing with. I know he will do what he can for me, although we don't have and probably never will have a fix-all solution. Unfortunately we both agree that things are going to get worse before they get better and there's not much i can do.

Then i've got French, Journalism, Science and Catering homework to do.

I'm actually cutting one of my classes on Thursday so i can interview a teacher (Miss OC) for the Journalism assignment, which is due on Friday, along with a full feature article about the interview.

There's also the money situation at home. *sighs...

We can't afford much of anything right now. It looks like we'll be waiting a long time before i finally get the internet in my room, along with many other things. :(

Also, because my Mum has to leave early now as she's on placement, my Grandmother comes over EVERY morning and gets me out of bed. She comes in (WITHOUT KNOCKING) opens the door and turns the light on (much earlier than necessary FFS!)

I have things to do in bed before i get up! I don't need her poking around!

I have a headache today as well, (probably due to the stress i bet).

My feet are hurting so bad because i really need new shoes. (Oh look! We can't afford them.) O_O

Sorry. I don't want to burden you with all my shit. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything from you, i just don't have much else to say at the moment.

I put on a smile all day and all night.

Inside i am a sad and scared little mess.

Nobody will pull me out of the mud.

My arms are too tired to pull myself out, for they've been pulling for so long already.

All i can do is wait for the mud to dry.

But it has started raining,

and i'm still expecting the storm.


Landyn said...

I love you man. Know that. You help me when I;m down, and I wish i could do more.

We both can get through our tough times. Its a fact and it will happen.

Love you a ton buddy,

Landyn <3

Planetx_123 said...

Very poetic- nice.

(omitting obligatory, meaningless, self-serving advice per request)

Much Love,

AJCon89 said...

looks like someone needs to read my post "The Top 50 Funk Songs to Lift A Funk" and do some listening... lol

I'm sorry you are feeling so shitty... I really am. It breaks my heart to hear that you are down.

I get how shitty the whole being poor is. When I was growing up we were very poor. My ass of an alcoholic dad drunk away most of the meager paycheck he brought home and after my mom left him, she didnt really get any child support. So we went of wellfare for a while... another thing i would be too ashamed to tell anyone in real life...

So i get how that shits and I feel for you.

I hope things will turn around for you or, at least, you will find a way to get out of this funk you are in.

I'm sorry.

:::BIG HUG:::


Doomed but cheerful! said...

Do some qi gong (chi kung).

You will lose your depression behind.

This is not advice =]



Seth said...


naturgesetz said...

Keep talking to us. Maybe we can't give any advice, and maybe we shouldn't try, but we do care about you and want to know about you, whether things are good or bad.


steevo said...

Thinking good thoughts for you and sending them way South.

JC said...

i been thought poor, i been thought shitty school, i been to hell and back, and all i say is good luck on your journey. sit back and let the ride fly

LACHHH said...

Jerry Maguire is a sick fucking movie. watch it, although it probably won't be your thing.

Maybe you should bore us with all the details. every single one of them!