Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I don't do teddies. :P

Yeah, i think you liked my random facts. One of them seemed to stand out in the comments though. :P

Yesterday i wrote...

- I have a teddy-bear who i pretended was a boy when i was younger (just like an imaginary friend)...

(also how i discovered masturbation) :D

I'd better explain that one a bit better aye? ;)

Well, i must have been 9 or 10 or something...

As you (should) know by now, i was alone a lot. I didn't have any siblings and it was just me and Mum, so i had to entertain, and look after, myself a lot.

I used my imagination a lot of the time - from making little people out of Blu-Tack, to building Lego castles and staging swordfights, to tying string around the garden and then pretending the strings are lasers and i was a spy...

At night, i used my imagination as well.

I had imaginary friends. At night i would enter my own little world with them, and i would just lie there and imagine them, until i fell asleep. My little imaginings carried on from the night before, so i actually lived a mini imaginary life at night. I have some fond memories...

I had a teddy bear, and he was around the same size as me, so my friends lived in physical form through him.

One thing led to another, and i ended up emulating sex on one of my friends.

Umm... How do i say this...?

Friction = whoa!! ...and one surprised little boy.

That was how i discovered masturbation. Unfortunately my technique was awful (friction friction friction) and... it wasn't all that good for my... body parts.

Weeks later i started doing it different ways - each technique was better until i finally found the one that we all use.

There. I taught myself masturbation. I thought i'd made an amazing discovery... although i later found out that i wasn't the only one practicing it. :P

That wasn't TOO personal was it aye? :P

Lol i might need to tone it back a bit now... o_O

Keep those votes coming. ->



Before i go, here's a little picture i thought i'd leave you with.

This is Pit, from a game called Super Smash Bros.

Surprisingly, he's one of my favourites...


Anonymous said...

"Well, i must have been 9 or 10 or something..."

Lol..at such a tender age?! Haha you must've been one really bored child :P

and NO..it wasn't too personal. keep up the good posts :)


Doug said...

I think I was around your age when I first found out about masturbation too. Don't remember how it came about, but I just remember I was that young.

And I can see why Pit is one of your favorites! ;)

AJCon89 said...

Plushie lover!!!!

haha... you fucked a teddy bear. How do you think that makes the story any better :-P

God you are a funny fucker.


Anonymous said...

Hey mirrorboy

First I must confess: I'm not gay. Funny, huh? I stumbled upon your blog by randomly clicking links in the blogs I usually read. I guess some of these guys are gay at least.

Anyway. I like your style of writing and since I don't mind people being gay (some of my friends are and I coudn't care less), I follow your story and just skip the parts I'm not interested in.

You mentioned some problems with "your story" and with "writing about war". I think that, you shoudn't write about war unless you know something about it. This doesn't mean "go to war!" but "read about it!".

Since you are interested in journalism too you know how to do some research. It may be a bit difficult for the very fictional background. I can't find anything appropriate in my library... maybe it's because I don't read that kind of literature...

Greetings, HG

PS. Sorry for my poor English...

Planetx_123 said...

This post really made me laugh- and its very endearing. I remember doing similar things as a kid (imaginary friends, entertaining myself--Im also an only child)...not bears though.


naturgesetz said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah — teddy bear.

Now that we've got that out of the way *tell us about the cat!* lol :P

There have to be at least two good cat stories every week, and by now you ought to have a good stock of them to start off with. :)

JC said...

haha sometimes you are like looking in my past, thoe the my bear came latter, i start discoving at by running when i was younger, aint life funny with it weried things.

Garrett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Landyn said...

goddammit, posted as my buddy again. fuck, why do i do that? i gotta delete that email account

heres a repost:

hahahahahahahaha :)))))))))

love u man, ur so much fun <3

Landyn <3

ps, Pit is a character I used to play as a lot :)

joshposh said...



tni said...

That was a very kwel and honets write - Enjoyed it... Ohhh and Hello from across the Ditch (NZ)