Hey everybody. Sorry i missed yesterday. I lost track of time.
Today was pretty crap.
For no reason i can think of, i was sore all over. My leg hurt when i walked, my back hurt when i sat down, my hand hurt when i wrote.
Also that boy that i got suspended came up to my face, shook my hand hard and in a really snide tone said "thanks for getting me suspended, mate!"
He's pretty much the most intimidating person you could ever meet...
My Journalism interview is due tomorrow. I taked to my Journalism teacher about it not being suitable for playing in front of the whole class because of how personal it got, so she's just going to listen to it herself and mark it...
I still have another 20-30 mins of scratchy tape to try to get down though. And then i have to write the Feature Article about it... Fuck...
That's what procrastination gets you.
Regarding my last post, i was actually told that i sounded like a 'runny nose spoilt little bitch'...
Well, that's how i felt at the time. Believe it or not, my Mum and i get along most of the time, but when i was writing that, she was really fucking pissing me off, so that's the reason for my post. I had been dealing with such a hard time recently, i just needed to vent a little.
*sighs... Mini-rant over...
After school today, i went down to our Youth Centre and enquired about that group of people who meet up the street once a week. I gave my name and phone number to the lady behind the desk, so i'm expecting a call from the woman who runs it sometime this week.
Hope it turns out well...
I also ran into my old cute Asian friend from Primary School... He has cool thick black hair now and he's damn cute...
Unfortunately... he's not gay. :P
I did take the opportunity to come out to him when he asked why i was up the street. I don't think he really cared though.
Isn't it funny how easy it is to come out now? It was such a quick spur-of-the-moment thing.
Speaking of coming out, my Mum said to me on Sunday that she'd told my Grandmother i'm gay.
Hmm... I'm kind of angry that she didn't even ask my permission. O_O
She said that Nan took it fairly well...
Knowing my Nan, she was probably in shock. She's quite religious - a churchgoer, with pictures of God and Jesus hanging around her house. She also always says 'God bless' when you're saying goodbye.
It will be interesting to see if i keep hearing that now...
She probably thinks i'm going to Hell. :P
Anyways, i'm just kind of sad right now. Life is so frustrating and the holidays are only crawling towards me.
11th of December and i will finally be free of school.
I won't have to put up with my daily shit anymore...
Wish me luck... in everything really...
loves,
===>mirrorboy<===
I'd like to keep this untitled.
14 years ago
13 comments:
Why, what happens on 11th december?
holidays, dude.
'runny nose spoilt little bitch'...
kinda harsh i suppose. just go scratch his eyes out FFS! LOL
its yer blog... piss n moan all u want...
but it is rather descriptive...
glad u signed up 4 th meeting...
mite be a bf there... XD
suspended guy at least did not HIT u FFS!
hang in there, dude...
no bruises... YAY!!!
XD
steevo luvs ya
[glyso] verification word
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I finish 26th November, jealous?
show me the person wo said you were a 'runny nose spoilt little bitch' and I will punch him for you :-P
No one talks to my mboy like that...
I'm sorry you are still having a rough go of it... but I am so glad you are being proactive and going to that group.... I think it might help.
We finish on classes on Dec 20th... and are off through jan 15th. Not sure what I am doing for vacation.
Peace,
AJ
This is so random, but... I feel like I'm 15 quite often, and I couldn't think of anybody but you to tell!
The air smelled weird when I went to the mailbox, so I stood out there for a few minutes just breathing it in. After only a few breaths, I noticed a physical reaction to go along with the mental note - I was getting hard! I'm thinking, since when is the air a recognized aphrodisiac, since I always overthink everything, and I couldn't come up with any explanation that even remotely sounded plausible. Back inside, I'm still hard and feeling like Leo DeeCrappio on the bow of the ship shouting at the universe that he's 'king of the world' and, after 45 minutes of extreme tension, I finally take matters in hand! I never did figure out the trigger.
Later, while I'm walking my neighbor's dog, I hear the unmistakable sounds of skateboard wheels on tarmac. Looking at the top of the hill in the distance, I see several of the neighborhood boys, all of whom know me by sight and by name, including my favorite one. 'Favorite one' is special to me even though he's new here, having moved about a year ago, because he's a hottie and, more importantly, because every time I've ever seen him, including the very first time, he stops whatever he's doing, his face lights up with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes, and he engages me in real conversation. I pace myself so that I'll be real close by when the skaters finish coasting down the hill - nothing like making it as easy as possible for 'favorite one' to brighten my day. At the end of their run, I notice 'favorite one' is slightly separate from the others and I look at him and smile. He's looking at the ground, but then, for a split second, he flashes his eyes over me, then returns his eyes to the ground. His expression never changes, he never acknowledges my presense in any way, and the skaters return to the top of the hill and make their next run down the other side, away from my area. After the shock of the break in the routine, there's no anger, there's only sadness. Back inside, I spend hours wondering what I've done wrong to lose the attention and affection of my 'favorite one.' I go through the whole middle school drama lesson, stuff like were my clothes alright? my hair combed? did I smile wrong? was there a booger on my face? When I got into the really deep doodoo, wondering if I was somehow so inherently flawed that he sould notice it and avoid me, I finally forced myself to stop thinking about it.
Makes me wonder, sometimes, if I'm crazy.
xoxo
Good luck...I finish the 5th and cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!!
(thats a visual representation of how much I hate this semester)
Can we read your journalism interview? (or is it only audio)?
Steve
"substrec"
hmmm.. want a tissue for your runny snot nose? LOL j/k - we love you, even when you rant
:)
Anonymous....errr... mailbox erections? hmmm.
w0ot skaterboys, tho.
hang in there mirrorific!! you'll get a well-deserved holiday break soon.
I agree with steevo. It's great news that the intimidating person did nothing worse that grab your hand and say something snide.
All in all, I'd say things are moving in a good direction. After tomorrow, the journalism interview is over, then the feature article is done. Nan knows, so you don't have to hide it from her. Every day is a day closer to holidays, and a day closer to graduation. You're getting a group of real, live people that you can talk to face to face about what's going on.
Every day that nobody beats you up is one less chance for them to do it. lol.
Just hang in there, man. Life will get better.
There is nothing like a good holiday to just relax and take your mind off everything.
I wish you the best of luck with school and everything else.
At least suspended boy knows it's totally your fault that he got in trouble. Stupid fucker. I'd recommend having him killed but that might get you suspended, despite it being completely justified.
:-D
It's good to hear your Nan took it well but you're right that your mum had no right to tell her without your permission.
I'd suggest having a quiet chat with her and nicely explain that outing another person is generally not an acceptable thing to do. Make it clear that it's nothing you're ashamed about and it's not something awful that should be hidden but, regardless, it's your place to tell whom you want and when you want.
You're not a runny-nose spoiled little bitch. I bitch about my parents all the time, doesn't mean they're bad people.
And you're lucky! I finish class the 22nd of december!!
so howzit w/ grams? i have a feeling she'll be OK. A vast majority of str8 people who learn that a family member or friend is gay will change their attitudes. They start to realize that a real living breathing human person that they know and love/care for is queer. "And, well, heck, if Mboy is what gay looks like, well he's such a sweety [tho not perfect] that maybe I was too quick to judge."
If grams doesnst get there right away then u have a project. How often do u say "Love you grams," since she got u UP (!) and fed u?
same 4 mom. Hearing those words come out of your mouth will do a lot to improve your living situation.
hang in there
s
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