Milestone. The story of my blog.

I started this blog 2 months ago.

Since then, I've had over 50,000 views.



Just 2 months ago, i was an incredibly lonely boy who felt he was nothing.

I was in the closet and frustrated to hell about it. I had absolutely ZERO contact with any sort of gay community, which was what i prayed for. I resented the friends i had because i was sure they hated people like me.

Every day i was crushed further into the ground as i pretended to be someone else. I let people stamp over my values and make crude remarks.

I felt i would be like this forever...

I would never meet anyone else like me. How can you, when you're too terrified to come out, and when there are no other 'out' people around you?

I felt i would lie forever.

There was no way out that i could imagine. I would be crushed, along with my values and hopes and dreams into a snivelling little mess.

I cried at night more than once, because i felt so pathetic.

There was nothing i could do.



Then one night, i sat down. I had 20 minutes before my Mum got home from work and i would have to get off the computer.

I got onto Blogger... and i clicked on Create a Blog.

I had to think of a name... I had to think of a blog address... I had to pick a layout. I did.

And then i started writing.



I started a tiny little blog with one post.

I slowly added to my blog everyday, even though nobody was reading.

I was more nervous than you could possibly imagine. I was sure that what i thought would mean nothing to people who had their own lives to live.

There were already so many other blogs out there. I thought mine would be lost.


And then it all began...

My first link and comment came from Jake Annonymous. He said that we should be 'brother blogs,' and at that point i had only written a few posts that nobody had read.

I owe a lot to him. It was the first sign that something might come of this.


I started linking. I started getting more views... and then very slowly... i started getting comments.

I put up my msn address, and for the first time in my life, i was able to speak to someone who understood what it was like. I think his name was... Lach. :P

Thank you Lach, and Jake. You both gave me a lot of confidence when i had none.


I started getting more links, and slowly more important ones on places like milkboys.

People started reading. They started actually commenting and e-mailing.

I sent out requests for links. I started spreading. People started asking ME for links.

People added me to msn. And i started making friends.

I started connecting with the sort of people who i had been looking for since i found myself.



I was getting somewhere.

My blog grew. And as people showed an interest in me, i started putting more effort in.

I witnessed the births of other blogs, who said that blogs like mine gave them courage.


And i got somewhere. My blog was being read by people. People actually cared about me.

I made dozens of amazing friends who have got my back and genuinely want the best for me.



Since i started, i've gone through the toughest time in my life.

I was outed to my friends, and then at school. I was outed to everyone.

I was terrified, but i had all of YOU to calm me down, reassure me and give me advice. I think that without your support, i would have broken down. I would not have been able to take this.

But i did, thanks to my blog - my place to share my fears and concerns with a world who cares.



I'm so grateful to be in this position.

I just want to say THANK YOU.


You've been with me, every step of the way.

You've been along the times i've been strong, you've cared when i was scared, you've helped me when i was sad, and you even sat through my awful rants. :P


From my every-post commenters, to my daily e-mailers, to my silent readers, to the nervous people who've been entirely in the closet all their lives, and who tell me just working up the courage to write an email was a struggle...

You make my life bearable.


And if me being here has helped anyone be more confident in who they are, then it was all worth it.

...Saying that, it has helped me more than any of you.


===>mirrorboy<===