Saturday, November 8, 2008

My head and my (lack of) lust.

The poll results are in.

Story stuff - 15%
Stuff about Aus - 9%
More vids and pics - 10%
More about me - 43%
More about boys - 21%

The clear winner was me. Obviously i'm just so awesome that you can't get enough of me. ;D

2nd was boys... and that's the opposite of me... o_O

That's a little confusing, but oh well, i'll try to add a bit more of them in too. :P

Then the others came in at about equal 3rd, still with a decent amount of votes. There are people out who want to hear about or see them as well, so i will post about them soon too. :)



But as promised, here's a personal post about me. :)


You may have gathered from the title that this post is about 'lust', as in 'sexual desire'.

Well to be honest, i don't think that i have strong sexual desires.

My dick doesn't go up easily. I don't get turned on easily. It takes a long time for me to reach orgasm. Things that turn other people on don't do it for me.

I wank and stuff... and I CAN get turned on, but only through pretty hard porn (i'm NOT talking about any extreme stuff here) just a lot of moaning... moaning does it for me i guess, and i have a few kinks, but it always takes me a long time.

This isn't just with my dick, it's in my head. I just don't get really turned on.

I don't know... this makes me think that i'm not even capable of sex, because i'm just not a sexual being, i think.

I am much more into 'eye candy' than other porny stuff. I don't really care that much for porn actually. It's just so much harder for me.

And i don't think i'd be able to 'get there' in sex...



So sex doesn't matter to me. I could easily live without it, honestly.

But the problem is... sex DOES matter to a lot of other people... so that means... umm... i just don't think i could satisfy someone because that part of the relationship would be missing.

Great... So if i do find 'that boy' i won't be enough for him.

I just wish i could be normal. :/



Yeah. That's mirrorboy for ya...

Always just another thing standing in the way of happiness.

===>mirrorboy<===

19 comments:

Lach said...

Stop over thinking things.

mirrorboy said...

I believe i thought things through to the correct degree.

victor said...

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

naturgesetz said...

Thanks for being honest with us.

Obviously, you won't be a perfect fit for someone who wants tons of sex. But you are far from being the only one who is not looking for sex. Sex matters to a lot of people, as you say, but there are others to whom it doesn't.

There are a fair number of people like you (and me) who just aren't that interested (although I could probably be seduced under the right (wrong?) circumstances). In fact a lot of what you wrote sounds very much like me.

More importantly, there are loads of people who believe that sex with guys is wrong. For example, Jay on "Adventures of a Christian Collegian" which I've linked to on my blog. And Courage (also linked) exists just to help people who are struggling to live up to that belief. So even if you don't share their belief, you could be a real godsend to some gay guy who needs a close friendship (call it bf, call it intimate) but deffo does *not* want to be tempted to have sex. You don't have to agree with him on the moral question, but if in practice you (don't) want the same thing, it works out fine.

So I'm sure there are lots of people out there with whom you can have just the kind of relationship that satisfies you. You don't have to change your behavior to fit someone else's desires. I mean every relationship involves some compromises, but you shouldn't try to reinvent yourself big time for someone who just isn't compatible.

P.S. Cat. ;)

Anonymous said...

Normal is what is.

So you find yourself having a lower sex drive than you think others do. You are not alone and you are normal.

Maybe there is something in you that wants something deeper and more intimate and sex doesn't take you there. Truth is, my bf and I spend a heck of a lot more time cuddling on the couch than having sex. It works out just fine.

And things change. How you are today may not be how you are tomorrow. And you'll still be normal.

Zee said...

There is nothing wrong with having a lower sex drive. Just make sure that it isn't caused by some medical problem. Other than that, it should be fine.

Also you might want to know if you have a fetish. Technically speaking, a fetish is like a kink. However, with a fetish, that is the only way you get aroused.

Don't worry about what other guys want. It is about you. No relationship will ever be satisfying if it means you lose who you are.

Seth said...

natur, (anonymous) and zee said great things in their replies.

there is more to life than physical sex.

eye candy is VERY important (so is "wanking" LOL)

you'll be that much SAFER and better off, as opposed to some guys who can't keep it in their pants for more than 5 minutes (ever read Craigslist m4m sections?) - safe sex to the extreme is called abstinence, but i guess there is a level right below that called "mirrorboystance" just kidding

having a low sex drive may be better and easier in life than having a high sex drive, allows you to focus your energy elsewhere

kinky/fetish are fine, in moderation LOL - as long as SOMETHING turns you on, even the eye candy

relationships CAN be based on more than physical activity, and probably are much "deeper" that way
and a true relationship, both partners will "give" and "take" different things, as long as you're happy...

i'm sure you will make a very satisfying and loving partner to someone, when you find the right person....

.... and, of course... there's always *AHEM*teddybears*ahem*

*wink* just kidding - but you will NEVER live that down LOL love ya

:)

Planetx_123 said...

Thanks for sharing this with us- yea I would put this low on your list of things to worry about. If you look for a boyfriend for the "right" reasons, then sex just won't matter as much when you find the right person. Intimacy and sex are not always the same... holding someone and playing with their hair, for example, is much more intimate than meeting a hot guy in a club bathroom for a quickie.

Mirrorboy- you are a great person that I'm sure is very lovable-- at least from what I've read on the blog.

The link victor sent is really interesting though- I didn't realize that such a place existed.

Much Love,
Steve

AJCon89 said...

i guess the teddy bear was so good that he ruined you for the rest of us... :-P

Listen, truth is what everyone else has already said is pretty much dead on. Some people have a greater sex drive... some dont. Some are turned on by guys, some by girls. Some like kinks, some dont.

But know this, there are people out there who feel the same way as you do and when you find that person they will understand you perfectly.

You are a very special person and the person who falls in love with you will be very lucky. And not because of the sex you may or may not have, but because of the love you two will share.

What you are going through can be perfectly natural, but it can be mental or physical as well.

I know that after I tried to kill myself I was on some medications that killed my sex drive.

So I suggest that you should talk to someone about it to make sure it isnt something physical or mental... but if it isnt, then dont worry about it.

There is more to life than sex (funny, this comes from a guy who just got his cherry popped last night... haha)

Luv ya buddy!

Peace,
AJ

Col said...

"Great... So if i do find 'that boy' i won't be enough for him.
Always just another thing standing in the way of happiness."
===>mirrorboy<===

"Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it."
J. Petit Senn

It's not "just another thing standing in the way," it's an obstacle that you have put there in your own mind...before the event.

A low sex drive need not be a problem in a short or long term relationship.
What's wrong with romance, fun, friendship...it's not just about sex!

Col

mirrorboy said...

@victor. hmm... i do know a bit about asexuality thanks to www.queersunited.blogspot.com

I... don't think i am asexual, but saying that, i do think i am on the lower end of the sexual continuum - as in, i'm closer to the end than the majority of others. I hope you know what i mean. :P

If people are clueless i can try to explain it more. haha

@naturgesetz. thanks. that's always a possibility.

@zee. *cough cough. boy must have nice hair haha

@AJ. Yup. You found someone who's just as horny as you. ;)

@col. I'm good at ending my posts on sad notes huh?

@the others. Stupid bear! Shutup! :P

exalen said...

hey mate, not every guy has to be a horny sex crazed maniac.

Some guys are atually more interested in making a human connection rather than meaningles sex.

And who's to say that when you do finally meet your perfect person you won't be majorly turned on and be their perfect love machine?

Like Lach said, don't worry so much and trust that when it's time, it'll be right.

:-)

victor said...

sorry dude, didn't mean to imply that you were asexual. just some information to help make sense of things. most people are not aware of this problem. i'll try not to post without an explanation. sorry.

mirrorboy said...

okey dokey victor. and yup, we should have more awareness. :)

Kim said...

At 15 I had similar kinds of worries to you. I was also afraid i wouldn't be able to bear being touched intimately by another person (I was really ticklish :) . But sex is actually quite different to wanking by yourself. None of it ended up being a problem at all.

Aek said...

Hey, you know, Steevo actually emailed me about this cuz he was concerned for you, or something.

My one two-cents worth is this: if it's not bothering you, don't worry about it too much. You're at that age where hormones are out of balance, things will sort themselves out in a few years probably.

If you ARE concerned, it's a good idea to talk to a doctor about it. It might just be slightly lower testosterone or something. Again, will probably sort itself out. Sexual urges fluctuate and vary from person to person. Undoubtedly you're not the only guy who's that way.

James said...

In my experience, it takes the right person to "do it". And it takes someone with patience. Also, not all guys want to go all the way. Don't worry so much, dear.

Yelugab said...

Hey mirrorboy, I've been married to another guy for two years now and he farts and things like that as well. It's not all roses and constant sex but we are good for each other and that matters. You are a lovely normal guy in my eyes with two qualities that take some beating - openness and honesty. Stay that way and a lot of people will continue to love you. Oh - the sex thing - that's over rated.

Jeremy said...

Your house is beautiful @.@

Oh and I agree with you :)