'Sup Me?

Oh hai y'all. ^_^

I haven't got that much to post about. Life is going pretty steady for me at the moment. I'm keeping it together pretty well, which is a change. lol. A nice one.

Though if life was turning to shit then i'd have something to post about. :P

- Haven't heard anything back about the jobs yet. It's no biggie though. I'm sure i'll find something soon so don't feel the need to comfort me. :P

- School is going okay. Lots of work to do but i can deal with that. It's a million times better than the other place i used to go to. 'Twas a school but i see it as more of a hellhole. :P But yeah things are going okay there.

- Practicing exposure with my psychologists. Now instead of sitting in a room talking about stuff we go out to a cafe or something and do it there. It's like, because being in social places makes me anxious and stuff, in a way it's trying to get me used to the situation. Also have to find a nice thing to say about myself every time i look in the mirror. That's hard to do though. Anyways they're really nice people. They probably know more about me deep down and what goes on in my head than anyone else. It's hard to explain what a difference they've made in my life so far, so i won't even try. But they're great. :)

Everything else that i care to think about is going okay. I've got school and homework during the week and i spend my spare time relaxing. Sounds like a decent plan aye lol.



On the blog side of things, well. Idk. Blogging has become way too high maintenance. I only read blogs that catch my eye now, and i only comment if i've got something important and/or witty to say. lol. There's just too many links in that sidebar to give everyone some of my time. I try to catch up with everyone on msn though.

I'm hoping i don't scare you all off talking to me now. lol. People seem to get the impression that i've got more important things to do than care about what's going on with them. That's untrue.
I just can't sit here for hours reading and commenting on dozens of blog posts. I still love talking to people on msn and i consider many of you good friends, and i'm still up for meeting new people (always am). :)

Hope everyone is doing okay. *love*



Because i'm doing okay for once some cataclysm is probably around the corner. lol

Souls.

Today i wonder if souls exist.

What makes me, me?



I'll warn you now. :P

In order for me to not sound like a raving lunatic (although i probably still will), you must be willing to put what you know aside for now, and just go with what i say. It's probably the most out-there thing i've ever written and makes very little logical sense. :D



Okies.

The notion of a soul is quite romantic. It is a pure essence inside of you, inside of everyone. It is you. It is what feeds your 'heart' and your 'mind'.

I know i've touched on this before in my Humans post. I said that i believe that how a person thinks and behaves is determined by our surroundings. What we see as 'good' and 'bad' is determined by what see and are told.

But is that it? Is that all? Are we 100% sponge, acting upon only what we soak up? Or is there something else, so deep we can't even see it, driving us?



In most cases, children mirror their parents. That can be explained by the 'you become your surroundings theory'. But let's say that this happens because your soul, and your parents' souls matched. So, they were brought together to exist alongside one another. Was it meant to be? Can you imagine living as the child of other parents that you know of?

Ask yourself this. If instead of your parents, you had been born to someone else. Would you be a completely different person?

If there was one small part of you that was the same, inside, in your mind or your heart, would that be a part of you that is pure you? That no matter what happens, no matter where you grow up, will always be there? Is this a result of your soul?



On the 'meant to be' thing between children and parents. I guess you could easily call that soulmates.

There are friends that you come across, completely by chance. At some point in time, in both your lives, you cross paths, and from then on you are inseperable. I suppose it's like it was meant to be.

And there are people that you love so deeply, you feel like, together, you are one. When they suffer, you suffer, and when they feel joy, you feel joy. A connection runs so deep between you and them...

And you can not see it, but it is there. And it is strong.

So if the connection exists, what is it connecting? It certainly isn't anything physical.



Let's look at the facts against souls and soulmates.

Your genes match your parents. So even if you grew up away from them, some parts of you would still mirror them. That's hardly souls, just science.

And if are parents soulmates, then why are there some such terrible mismatches?

You could become friends with people because you have similar interests. You have similar senses of humour. You are just similar.

And i'm not certain, but what we call 'love' can probably be explained by science too. It's just a bunch of chemical reactions inside you, that create emotion for someone, and at the same time exist inside another person, for you.



I have no answers. But i am writing from the point of view that souls exist. So i do have theories. ^_^

Yes, genes will make some parts of you similar to your parents, but not all of you. Like i said before, if 0.00000000000001% of you is not determined by outside influences, and inside influences like genes, then that part of you, is you. And that small part could be the most crucial part of all. And that crucial part might be the missing piece of the puzzle that are your parents' souls together. So in your existence you are brought together.



Now in order to explain mismatches, i must first determine why souls exist. ^_^

If they do exist, i believe it would be to learn. We are born, and we live our life, and then we die. While living, we experience emotions. We experience sadness and happiness. We experience what makes us feel good, and what makes us hurt deep down. We experience every emotion, and feeling. We experience everything imaginable.

When we have learnt enough, we die and our souls are set free, full of knowledge of what it is to truly exist and live. And perhaps our souls all go back to where they came from, and become one again, and pass on their knowledge. And when they reach their destination it is like a drop of food colouring in an ocean.

It is no big deal if a soul did not learn enough, or had to move on before it was their time. For another soul, eager to learn, will be created from the soul pool. Inside that soul will be a little part of every other soul. And it comes to existence to fill in the blanks, to know what it is to live. So if one soul missed out on something, or everything, another soul will take on the job.

If that is true, then we are all connected. In our existence we are all unique puzzle pieces from one huge beautiful picture. Sometimes we find a match and so experience a 'meant to be' feeling. Although perhaps more accurately between friends or partners, it was a 'match by chance'.



Okay that turned into a tangent. Back to why there are mismatches.

While a tiny part of us is our soul, the rest isn't. While our soul learns, the rest of us does as well. And that part of us may be learning what is not best for it. So if a child and a parent do not match, it may be because what the other parts of us know and feel and have learnt, clash with what our souls want. It gets in the way of what could have been a good match and the 'soul relationship' never reaches its full potential.



I'll go on to 'love' now.

Love is the ultimate definition of soulmates. People who are perfect matches, created for each other. Unfortunately we can't always find them. And maybe, i dunno, there isn't a soulmate for everyone. Perhaps part of what our soul needs to learn and feel involves doing it for ourself.

But that doesn't mean soulmates can't be made.

I think if we find someone that makes us happy, someone that fills us with joy, and makes us feel complete, our souls would change. And that change would be a good thing, because it brings our souls closer to their destination, and that could be to become one with itself. Our soul pool could be full one day, with no more need to learn. Souls would have done what they needed to do, and spend the rest of eternity, happy.



Jeez i'm a raving-mad lunatic. lol

Another Job.

It's been a week since i wrote the application for the newspaper, and we haven't heard anything back. My teacher wants us to be out doing work experience within the next few weeks, so i'm moving on.

Today, i again typed up a quick application. This time though, it was for the local radio station. After school today, i called my Grandma and asked her to pick me up. Then she drove me to the radio station, where i went in and left my application for the guy who does the programming.

My teacher's gonna call the paper. So if they say no, then i should probaby be able to get a job on community radio, and this would most likely mean hosting a 1 hour show.

I don't really need to be wished luck on this one. The guy who was there said there were lots of openings. :P

But feel free to wish me luck with the paper. :)

Seeking.

A job, please.

So as i said the other day, to pass my Work Skills class i need to axly do work experience for a minimum of 8 weeks to pass, and our teacher wants to get us out there ASAP. Full steam ahead kind of thing.

So on Thursday in class i looked through the phone book for places that i might be able to do work placement at. The one i wrote down first, was our local newspaper. Long-time readers might already know that i want to be a journalist.

Now asking this newspaper is quite a big deal. It's not a small thing. It's a very professional paper. It does local news, state news, national news, international news, all news. In a work placement book i saw at my old school before i left, it said they only took year 11 and 12 students, preferrably those studying Journalism as a subject.

Now i'm 16. Definitely not studying Journalism. Little experience. I mean how do you even get experience as a journalist without axly working at a newspaper? And it didn't say anywhere that they had any sort of openings either.

Anyways, it's a long shot. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but that's hard to do. This is gonna be 8 weeks of my life. I want it to be something important to me.

I wrote up the quick application in about 45 mins and got it to my teacher and she said she would post it. Cross your fingers, toes, legs, balls, anything. I want this bad, and it's a very long shot. :(

If it doesn't work, my other 2 choices are the local radio station or a bakery.

Hai But Bai.

Okay, so here's the thing.

I've gotta a lotta stuff to do at the moment. I need to write an essay on a book we read in English, and also do an assignment on the book (It's called The Divine Wind, it was really good axly). I also need to find articles for a speech i have to do about a topic i chose (human euthanasia). And there's more stuff to do with my Work Skills class. I kind of need to... find a job and do work experience to pass.

I also need to get other stuff sorted out to do with turning 16, which was a while ago. Bunch of other stuff too. No point going into it.

To be honest, i haven't even read the majority of e-mails i've received in the past couple of weeks. And those of you with my msn may have noticed i've barely been on. I think it'll stay like that for a while. I went on it last night after being away for a while, and while i was on i was hurt. So what's the f'ing point, ya know? I'm just gonna be a ghost now, for a while at least.

I'm sorry to all the owners of blogs i haven't been reading and commenting. But you've all got your own lives and problems to deal with. I simply can not get involved. Right now, i need to focus on me, my life, and my own problems. That's all i can take for now.

And i may or may not be on msn occasionally. If i am it won't be for long.

Right now i will go and respond to all the e-mails in my inbox. If you e-mail me after this, don't expect a quick reply. Sorry.

I will try to post when i can. I do still have stuff to blog about. It's not the blogging that has made me have to do this, it's everything that comes with it.

Ultimate Smeh.

So many blogs to read. So many comments to make. So many emails to respond to.

-_-

Another day of procrastination can't hurt, can it?

^_^

Cool, New, Yummilicious.

There's all these cool, new, young things coming to blogworld. Soon you'll all be so over me. :P

Vince Patrick Photoblog - A yummy picture/journal blog. :)

A Not-So-High-Profile Life - A Canadian Teen blogging about his life. :)

Small Town Chat - A "location unkown :D" teen who blogs about... hating his brother. lol

The Everyday Life and Thoughts of a Fabulous Teen - Or TELATOAFT. lol. Correct me if i'm wrong, but i think he's the youngest blogger in our community. :O



Anyways, they're all fairly new blogs so go check them out and give them some support, and a warm welcome. :)

Mini Break.

It's that kind of time again.

I'm gonna take a break from blogging, and reading blogs and commenting, and reading emails and replying.

I've got a bunch of homework i need to do. After school and homework i also need some time to relax. There are some other things on my mind i need to think about as well. I won't go into detail but it's nothing bad, so don't worry. :)

I'll be back soon. Till then, love.

:)

Bloglinks.

Ehhh i hate doing this.

But it's over now. :) lol

So i've gone through all the links in my sidebar and put them in their categories.

My favourite bloggers go in the top category (My favourite blogs). Mainly because i read blogs by going through my links, and i keep my favourites at the top so i can find them easily. :)

Bloggers who i think do a great job and i like reading go in the next one (Great guys).

Then all the other blogs that are worth checking out go in the next category (Other cool blogs).

A blogger that doesn't post for 3 weeks, without a reason, or one that posts only every few weeks or months, ends up in the very casual blogs section.

When a blogger doesn't post for 3 months, or has officially stopped blogging, they go into the final category of finished or disappeared.



I know that i started blogging because i was alone and i was reaching out. So it's sad when you see other people who couldn't break into the blogging community and gain that readership. It's also sad when someone that you'd been following, disappears with no reason.

Anyways, if you want a link from my blog all you have to do is leave a comment or send me an email. It's win-win for both people. :)

Chocolate Much.

The lighting was okay this time. lol

They were sooooo good... Something that good has to be bad for you. :)

It took me a couple of tries to get the icing right. The first lot was wayyy too runny, but the 2nd one was decent. At least it wasn't gritty like last time. lol. They cakes turned out well though. Probably the best ones i've made, even though i accidentally used tablespoons of cocoa instead of teaspoons. lol

Ooh... My tummy hurts...