I wrote this in about half an hour at school a few weeks ago.
...
The Sun shone brightly, but my mood was dark. I knew the Sun was there, but all I could see was black. Its light was gone. All light was gone. And I was forgotten. Everyone and everything had seen me, but no eyes were on me now. I felt cold to my core. I used to inspire hope and courage. Now, without me, nothing really changes. No one needed me anymore. They would go on living, as they have their own sources of hope. They had moved on and I was left unneeded. I am unneeded. I would cry out but I have no voice. Even if I had one, my cries would fall on deaf ears. I feel like a skeleton. I feel dead. I am cold, surrounded by darkness.
I feel a pull. Like a tug of rescue pulling me from despair. A crescent of light flashes before my eyes. And I see. I see the Sun. The light grows, and flushes my hopelessness from me. I know now that eyes are on me, and people care. I can feel the light on me, and although it isn't mine, I am happy to carry it till the end, to inspire hope and courage in those who can find no light, and bring them back from their own despair.
I see the Earth again and I am glad. I am happy to be a beacon of light for the Earthlings. I always shall. It is my destiny as the moon, till the end.
...
If there is any meaning to the story it is that the darkness in our life can create false feelings of despair, fear and hopelessness, but if you have that pull of rescue, it will always pass and you will know that there are still some people who care.
Sometimes you just can't see that through the darkness though.
I'd like to keep this untitled.
14 years ago
20 comments:
I think it is most excellent in getting your point across. Beautiful prose, very moving. And that's from one author and person prone to despair to another. :)
I like this short story. :)
It's poignant and well-written.
Simply beautiful... nothing more needs to be said.
I don't think I've commented here before, but feel compelled to do so today.
The essence of a short story is to condense a complete tale, with emotions, characterizations, and events into very few words, and this is exactly what you have accomplished here. It was quite well done.
As a fun fact, E Hemingway was once challenged to write a short story using only 6 words.
His story: Baby shoes for sale. Never worn.
Short stories done well can be very powerful. Keep at it.
Brilliant!
What a wonderful insight!
well written Mboy. i can empathise with it
torchy!
mboy
what a wonderful message you have there and i pray you are always here or near to be a beacon
but just as much never forgot the sun as you say is always there and sometimes its up to us to move into that sunlight
hope all is well, take care and be safe
hugs
my friend, bob
i'm posting this comment here that i posted on pilgrim's blog to warn you about him.
pilgrim you fucker! stop posting about chris! you never met him, and you certainly never knew him! what kind of a person are you to use him like this? stop using him to get comments and attention! i want to get my hands on you and beat the shit out of you you fucking liar! i'm posting this comment in other people's blog so it will be out there for others to know.
brendan
You write really well, i like how you do.
Couldn't you write a book ?? I'd love to read it :p
See you !!
<3
Bravo!
:)
*hugs*
Mboy I hope you know what light and compassion there is in anything you write. Regardless of form or finish, no reservations. You are one who can never be blamed and need never be "endured", whatever you do. Just like your cats. This is rare among humans.
@ Anonymous — I think you are mistaken. It seems that Pilgrim met Chris once, He was one of the "French wankers," as Chris called them, whom Chris encountered in London in the last month of his life. Chris's best friend Ste, who was present at that encounter, seems to consider this a much more significant connection that that of any of us who were in touch with Chris via the internet, which is why Ste entertained Pilgrim in his home and introduced him to Chris's family. You may consider the connection tenuous at best, but it seems to be meaningful to those who were closest to Chris.
Nice writing. I hope you get cheerful and write about that too. I enjoy uplifting stories.
Really good Mboy-- it has 'texture' to me... meaning that it feels very familiar, like I can touch it. I know this makes no sense, but its the first thing that came to my mind while reading-- how tactile this is to me.
Much Love,
Steve
@Dr Mandrogora
I had heard this before but forgotten it, but WOW how truly amazing of a story. That's a lifetime of information in just six words.
Wow... beautiful.
Good to see the talent still there mate. Now give us some more WoW posts! :)
Oh and please do give us an update on your female friend from school, and your running, and your wet butt :P
lotsa loves even if you beat us in rugby
kiwi
that was well good
I know this isn't really original..but wow, you have a talent for beauty.
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