Yes, life does suck. But did i not say i'm doing my best to change that? :)
Since my last post, i've told my Mum about my hard time at school. My school knows about my situation now too, as well as some of my teachers. I've talked to the school counsellor and the school chaplain, as well as a woman from youth services who sometimes visits the school.
I've been in contact with the gay youth group, or whatever it is, in my city, and i'm getting ready to go there sometime soon as well.
If things haven't gotten better by May, when i turn 16, as a last resort Mum says i'll be able to leave the school and do the rest of my learning at this other college place thingy in my city.
So i'm not sitting idly by and wallowing in my sadness. I am still being strong, as hard as it is to do so.
(Just so you don't go 'Ugh... I thought you were stronger than that, MBoy...')
I'm hangin in there. It's all i can do.
On another note. Send your love and prayers to us Aussies as our country, and my own state, burns, suffering our worst peace-time disaster ever.
By the way, as i'm on the coast, you don't have to worry about my safety. Just letting you know.
Anyways, i'm doing my best to get through my own disaster, and thanks (to most of you) for all your support so far.
I'd like to keep this untitled.
14 years ago
28 comments:
I probably dont have to tell you again since I have told you like 1 million times... I am so proud of you mboy... I really am.
Your are simply an amazing and strong and brave and smart person... and well... I'm just so proud of how you are handling things.
I would give you a special reward... but I think Matt would get pissed off at me... plus the flight would be quite long... lol
Love ya!
Peace,
AJ
I think this is good news from you. You didn't let them rule your life. I know it's hard fighting by yourself but you did right thing talking to mom and others about your problems. Except for a fact that they may (and I hope they will) do something to stop the bullies and make your life easier there is other positive thing - you learned how to talk about your sexuality with others. I imagine that talking to counselor or youth service woman wasn't easy.
Good you have gay youth group in your area. I think you really should meet with them, talk to them and get support from them. At least they'd fully understand you. And they may teach you few things and make you better understand yourself.
Before changing school be sure it's an only option and that fresh start won't put you through hell again. It's hard decision but good you have support in your mom.
And good you are safe, I was quite worried watching news last few days.
And remember, you always have friends here too if you need help, just talk to people you trust.
Hugs,
mirrorboy
good to hear about your progress and you are being as strong as anyone can expect. Just keep getting up every day and going forward. You are an inspiration to us all. Find help where ever you can.
iam praying for rain to wash your troubles away down there all of them
take care and be safe
bob
I'm glad you're safe from the fires, the aftermath of those things look like warzones.
And thats very good you and your mom have reached a conclusion, thats great that if you're not coped by may she will let you go somewhere else.
hang tough!
I've gotta head off to work so I can't write a lot but I wanted to quickly say that I'm immensely proud of you.
You are so my hero! I know that I would just crumble and wallow in misery... and somehow you at 15 have more ability and maturity to manage your situation than I do at 25. Totally awesome!
I donated some money through Jake's donation link. I've never seen anything like the images they showed on our news over here. Its terribly tragic, and the world is sending their support.
Much Love,
Steve
Wow, you have been busy.
You are fighting back and recruiting support as well.
I don't think anyone of us - who do care for you - thought you were being idle and just wallowing.
We knew you were overwhelmed and our concern was that you would not succumb to the hopeless depression that can so easily break a person.
But you have demonstrated your strength, resilience, and determination to turn your life around.
I am inspired by your spirit and action.
You have always been strong.
It may not have felt like it a times, but, starting this blog and doing what you needed to do to survive demonstrates that.
And now getting those people in your life on board who can really help you, proves it.
The fallback to an alternative education option if needed is encouraging.
I assume this is something like NSW’s TAFE.
I'm relieved to hear that you are not near the fires, that is one less crisis you have to deal with directly.
But, it is hard to escape the devastation, especially as it is in your own state.
I'm from Sydney.
We have had bush fires in the past, but nothing, nothing like these in Victoria.
I have been stunned by the fire's ferocity and humbled by the brave efforts of the fire fighters and residents to stem the annihilation to has occurred.
Out of stories of tragedy and hopelessness have come other stories of hope, bravery and success.
MirrorBoy, your story is also one of hope and bravery and you will succeed.
Love and blessings to you and your fellow Victorians,
Lindsay
For the record - The coming to Melbourne to finish studies is my idea.
JUST SO YOU ALL KNOW.
kthx.
<3 you mcake. :)
Thanks for the update, MBoy. I'm glad you've got those people on your side and a plan B to get out of that school if you have to. I hope things will settle down, though and things will be okay at your school. I can't imagine what it has been like for you, but I know from everything that you have written that it has been intolerable.
Hoping and praying for better days ahead.
*hugs*
A while back you wrote of a day at the shore, so I knew your town is somewhere on the coast. And it was a relief to see the maps showing the fire locations all well inland. So at least I figured you were safe from the fires. But it's good to have that confirmed. I hope they can put the fires out soon. It must be terrible for all the people who have lost their homes and their livelihoods.
Good for you. Taken control. I hope things resolve quickly, but in any case, May will be here before you know it. Indeed, you are a pretty tough guy. Well, pretty, I have no idea. You get my drift! Very, very proud of you: I could have done with you to watch my back when I was 15!
It's good to hear from you and to hear you're hanging in there. Good for you for sticking to it and not giving up! It's great to see that you've told the right people and groups about your situation.
Lots of love from all of us!
I am at school with 2 minutes before prep period ends. I just got online here to check if you had posted which I have been doing 3 or 4 times a day more or less.
I am proud, but more IMPRESSED that you are being so PROactive.
Your environment is the problem, not you yourself!
You have made my day, MBoy. You have no idea! Well maybe. I deal with some teens here that have a very difficult life too, a few like you... so when I see progress and hope it gives me energy to try to help them all the more. So your aussie balls* are helping teens here too.
*courage, toughness in the face of attack!!! Not sure if it means that there. XD Don't want you to think I am a perv or something!
hugs,
s [shines] I swear!!!
Wow, you really are way too popular now...already 12 comments ffs!?
Don't ever feel like you aren't doing enough or not strong enough. The rest of your post shows that you are doing stuff.
And as everyone else I'm very proud of you and even inspired by you.
wish you the best, and love ya buddy
-courage
oh! and it was nice talking to you again last night too.
way to go mboy!! well done. i think you've done exactly the right thing, seeking help from your mum, and i really hope that things start getting sorted now, even tho it'll probly still be uncomfortable for a while. i know i've said this before, but no matter how boring and painful it seems now, your schooling is very important, to give you a solid grounding for the rest of your life, when your current tormentors are just a distant memory.
your actions are so much more impressive than mine when i was your age.
i won't say i'm proud of you coz that'd be a bit odd from someone you've never met, but i'm proud of you anyway. oops, it slipped out ;)
hang in there
torchyyy!
Use the resources you have, and make the best of it. And I hate the repeat the obvious "hang in there" routine stuff. But, please do.
I feel like I should give some other advice or wonderful comments, but I can't think of what to say. Good that you are safe from the wildfires, and hopefully you can continue to fight the small brush fires that take place in your school each day.
*hugs*
MB,
YAY for you! Keeping strong and dealing with stuff... and you are 15 y/o? You are prolly going to be Prime Minister some day : )
Take Care!
Davey
word verification "sumetem"
Well, everybody before me has already said it all. What you've done in such a short time is absolutely brilliant. I know there are still obstacles for you to overcome, but I'm thinking... the only way is up! I'm so proud of you for staying strong and taking control of your life.
Love & Hugs
Col
I'm with everyone else who's proud of you for fighting through it, mirrorboy. Glad you have a plan for how to deal with all of it too. It's much better when there's light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, glad you're not affected by the fires, mate.
*hugs*
I'm glad you're hanging in there. You've done a lot to help yourself, I hope it pays off soon.
I also hope the fire and drought situation in Australia gets better really fast. It's hard to imagine something like that all the way here in the frigid north (of the US).
Yay Mirrorboy! I'm so proud of how well you're dealing with this stuff.
Oh, and Davey is so right. I'd vote for you (if I could. Geez, I'll get citizenship in Aus just So I can). Mboy for PM!
^_^
(see peter, i told you so)
x! is missing an important point or fact about this casual cohort of blogers.
IT'S YER OWN BLOG TO POST WHAT YOU WANT.
The idea is this is a [relatively] safe place to say what MBoy [or anyone] needs or wants to say and then somebody sez, "Yeah, I hear ya!" In psychoanalytic terms that is the essence of therapy [aka healing]. SOMEONE listens and gets it! It's not asking someone else to GIVE solutions [tho that may now and then happen], it's asking or hoping for someone to tell you, "NO you aint nutz, Mboy, I get it. Sucks, huh?"
What you may have missed is that this is a 2way street. Many times Mboy and others reach out and help and support someone else when the dark storm clouds move in and almost block out the sunlight.
It's called survival. Gay teens face internal and external obstacles that can easily overwhelm.
If MBoy and others don't have someone IRL to talk to completely and honestly, well we are second best and a helluva lot better than nobody and a deep depression like Prayers for Bobby.
So try to see a bigger picture here, X!. Attacks dont help, even when accompanied by apparent sympathy and support. Once in a while someone might say things rather bluntly to HELP get someone get unstuck, like a big brother might do IRL.
When one of us is down, we gather round and are just there. It's a way to show that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
cappish?
steevo in cali
Glad to see you're so proactive! :) In any country we should forgo the last two years of HS anyways.
X! my view on coments is if you do not have anything supportive or constructive to say you should not say it all, it is such a simple thing to remember and it is only a curtesy to each other.
there is something wrong with you coming to this kid's blog (he is even younger than you and i try to tolerate ignorance but) and hitting him when he is down. I do not know how you do not see that.
your thoughts could have been expressed differently if sincere.
mboy
take care and be safe
bob
@ x! — one thing I don't think you'll find MBoy talking much about but which is a big factor in our appreciation of him is what you'll find on Brass Matt's, beginning with "Worried About AJ" on December 14, 2008 and culminating with "Donations and an AJ Update" on December 19. Perhaps after you've read those you'll feel like sending Mirrorboy a little Amazon gift card.
The backstory for AJ is on his blog. Jump in at Thanksgiving.
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