Saturday, February 14, 2009

Another week down.

Well, my second crappy week of grade 10 is over. It's hard to believe i've only been back for that long. It felt like a bloody lifetime to be honest.

Anyways, info and stuff from that gay youth group arrived in the mail yesterday, and they meet on Monday's at 4. So it looks like i'll be going. Man, i'm so nervous. I don't know any gay people my age, so this is a huge thing for me. :/

It also sounds... really... gay. ^_^

There are rainbow colours all over the pages, and words like, 'fighting homophobia', 'united', and 'activism'.

Really gay? I'll fit right in. ;)

And my devout Catholic Grandmother will be dropping me off and picking me up. Aww ain't she sweet. :) My family accepts me at least.

And at least i'm making progress (hopefully).



I've got a bunch of homework to catch up on over the weekend. Ugh. Just what i need. Learn more words for French, make a slideshow for English, write a story for Creative Writing.

At least i'm good at writing. Creative writing is a good subject for me. It might get the right words flowing through my blood again and i can make some decent progress on my big story. (Which has been too hard to concentrate on recently.)



On another note, what's with all the creepo comments people have been leaving in the past couple of weeks? (and it's not just one person). People say i'm depressing or boring. Or i whinge and whine. I don't get it.

I mean, if you don't like my blog, that's fine. If you don't like me, that's fine. But you don't need to leave a comment telling me how awful i am or that i don't deserve this 'popularity' or whatever.

I always have to bite my tongue when i reply. I hate doing that, cos i like swearing. :)



But seriously.

I write about my life. That's what this blog is about. It has ups and downs. When life is good, i write happy posts, and when life is sad and crashing down around me, i write less happy posts. I don't force people to read, and i'm certainly not trying to depress people. In fact, a lot of the time when i talk to people, they're coming to me BECAUSE they feel sad and i'm good at making people happy.

*cough remember aj? cough* hahaha

And i don't indulge in inflating my ego. I spend most of my time trying to stop me from grinding myself into the ground by putting myself down.

So for the record. I don't think i whinge, mr. anonymous. So FUCK YOU.

:)

love.

16 comments:

cvn70 said...

mirrorboy

one week at a time and you will get through this. Good luck at the youth group, hey and if it is too gay you do not have to go back :)

But what if you make some friends that would be good for you. Keep taking chances for a better life.

Try to ignore the people who come at you with unkindness. They are just not worth your time. You do not have to explain yourself to them. Concentrate on your studies and find some quiet time for your writings.

your words have made a lot of people happy here in yuor blog and in your emails and messages. How are the cats doiing btw?

take care and be safe

bob

AJCon89 said...

lol...

You know what I say about all the haters? Fuck 'em

You are the best and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

Peace,
AJ

Aek said...

Awww, take the comments in stride.

*hugs* Good luck at that meeting! I'm sure it'll be good for you (that, or it'll be completely lame).

Oh, there's something I wanted to ask. Are you doing your exercises? You know what I'm talking about. ;-)

Lastly, did you change the color on your blog? I don't remember the blue being this dark . . . o.O

J said...

Happy to hear you are on an upward trajectory.

J

Lindsay said...

Two weeks down...
and more that a few to go... but let the future look after itself.

MB, you have achieved so much to get control back in your life this last week - you are definitely making progress.

Don’t worry if the gay group sounds too gay, I’m sure you will be able to straighten them up… at bit… so to speak…!!

Glad to hear that your Nan knows and accepts you.
You can be yourself with her now.

And continue to be yourself here.
Don’t let the creepo commenters crap on you.

Six months ago you timidly toe stepped into the big pond of the blogsphere.
You didn’t know if any one would be interested in you, but you took the plunged.

And now the MirrorBoy Mafia is spread throughout the known and unknown world.
The MBM is dedicated in it’s support and protection of you.

Why?

Because in the last six months, you have proved to be a trustworthy, genuine caring guy who does not have it easy in his own life, but gets on with it as best he can - the highs and the lows.
And in doing so, you have inspired, nurtured and made a positive impact on people’s lives the world over.

You are popular here because you are the genuine article, not because you are some sort of celebrity.

In Australia, we call it the tall-poppy syndrome.
It really is jealousy.

These creepo commenters are just jealous of your popularity, nothing more.

If you count the number of positive and negative comments you have, I’m sure the negatives would barely rate.

Continue to be yourself and be true to yourself.

Love and blessings.
Lindsay

Seth said...

what exactly is "whinge" ?

:P

just kidding. i get the idea - and people are nasty asses. shame on them.

as for the youth group - i'm sure it will be a great thing for you. You'll be able to meet with others in your age group, make connections - thats very important, so you have people to turn to, for advice, for friendship, whatever. You'll probably also get a shitload of resources, things to learn, discover, etc. So, it might be "gay" and activist, but you don't have to become involved in that part of things. You don't need to plaster yourself with rainbow flags too. I assume its also a "social" group, but either way, you don't have to feel obliged to participate too much - you can take what you want from the experiences.

By all means, don't just freak out the first time - give it a shot, go back a second time, see how it goes before you make up your mind how much you will become involved.

Don't be embarassed in any way - its probably also a "coming out" group in a way - just because you are newly "out" and have not yet become a jaded queen (you've got about 25 years before that!!) and just because other people might seem like they are so world-wise, flamboyant, active, you get the idea - doesn't mean that they can't contribute to your life, and vice versa. It taks all sorts of people to make a group work, and everyones experience is a valuable thing.

You've got nothing to be embarassed about - everyone starts out at the beginning, just like any other activity. All the kids there were (or are) in the same boat - hopefully you'll feel comfortable and right at home with them.

Gosh, maybe I should become the spokesperson for the group. LOL.

Anyway - good luck with it!!

ps thx 4 teh comments :)

NG said...

For what it's worth, some of 40's somethings with blogs get hate comments too.

Any problems, you know what to do.

aron2631 said...

Dude you are such a non-whiner that in all of this that has been happening to you, I actually have no idea what has been going on! You really haven't even said, other than it's been crappy! (Which, to be honest, is a little frustrating to not know).

Anyway, so you are such a non-whiner!

naturgesetz said...

I agree with bob (cvn70). The youth group may have some good stuff advice from people who have been there and done that; but you don't have to stay if you don't like it. It's awesome that your Nan is taking you. Some of us Catholics are alright. lol

Thanks for telling us how things are going, and giving us a chance to encourage you when they're not so good.

Kitty pix are always welcome.

Poisoned Happiness said...

Can't wait for the relation from the meeting. And you sounds happier today, you know that?

mirrorboy said...

I try. :)

Steevo said...

u go, mboy... at our high school we ask GSA newcomers to attend at least 3 meetings to give it a fair chance.

hogs n quiches

Stephen Chapman... said...

It's really weird - if people don't like your blog, there are a couple of million others to read instead!

Someone left a comment on my blog saying that it wasnt gay enough and I was letting my gay self down! What the **** does that mean anyway!?!?

I thought long and hard about my reply, weighing up the pro's and con's... then I just told him to **** off and read someone elses blog.

:-)

Col said...

I'd be surprised if you weren't nervous lol, and yes it is a huge thing... but it's something worth doing. As others have said, give it a fair shot (at least three meetings).

You will not be pressured into participating in events that you don't want to be involved in either, so don't worry about the "activist" part.

This will be a fantastic opportunity to make friends and socialise with other young gay men, as well as being a good resource for you. I wish there were groups like that when I was growing up, I'd have been deliriously happy to have been able to actually talk to "real life" people around my own age.

Make the most of this opportunity because you could really get a lot out of it, and obviously I hope you do.

Good luck with all your homework, and Monday too!

Take care,
Col
*hugs*

Planetx_123 said...

People are commonly assholes and act like assholes when given the opportunity.

Thankfully- the good commments WAAAAAAAAY outnumber the bad comments.

I think its funny that the gay materials are so....gay. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand its great that we can have our own logo and slogan to form an identity for us...but I think its kind of counter-productive to the message of 'this is normal'.

I'm nervous for you- the first time I went to my schools gay student alliance, I was almost shaking.

Good Luck!!!
Steve

Anonymous said...

I like your blog. in the end you will prevail. No doubt about that.

go, MB go!