My Blog Turns 2.

Well it axly had its second birthday a couple weeks ago but i didn't notice. :P

I know i haven't been posting much as of late. Sorry to say things aren't going to change, because it's intentional.

I've told my story now. It was one of overcoming troubles, learning and growing as a person.



I made this blog for me in the beginning. I was alone and felt like a freak in this conservative city of mine. I knew no like-minded people, no one who understood what it was like to like people of the same sex. I had no one i could talk to. So i was reached out to the internet in the hopes of finding people who understood what it was like to be gay. I did, and it was an incredible and invaluable experience, and now the fact that i'm gay doesn't have the tiniest impact on my day to day life, when it used to be a major issue. It's thanks to the people i've met online and for that i'm eternally grateful and thankful for having met you. That's the best thing about my blog for me.

But slowly Mirrorboy became less about me and more about helping others. I grew to be obsessed with helping people in the same sort of situation and that snowballed until i was eager to help anyone with any troubles any time, no matter how simple or intense.

I met more people. I got to know people more deeply. Everyone has shit in their lives, and i got caught up in everyone else's intentionally. Like i said, i got obsessed with helping, and soon my every thought was about my numerous online friends and how i could help them. I'd be freaking out some days about the issues my friends had. I'd even talk to my own psychologist about how i could better help my friends sort through their struggles.

I imploded. It got to be too much and i had to step back. I had enough on my own plate to deal with, and whenever i came back to blogworld i was faced with a loaded buffet of others' troubles. I would try and often fail to help people and it would hurt me hard. I know it was of my own doing, but perhaps i'd lost sight of reality and who i was. I couldn't fix the world, as much as i would try. I am after all, just a boy.

That's why i had to temporarily leave. To put things into perspective and come back knowing how much i could handle, and what i could not.

So things haven't been the same since i came back. For that i'm sorry. As much as i wish i could, i'm not able to help everyone with everything, and i've failed to live up to some people's expectations because of that, and sometimes my own.



I've told my story while getting caught up in others. I don't regret a moment of it. I grew as a person and i've made many friends i'll keep forever. I'm sure i've helped some people along the way. That's never a bad thing.

But i'm sitting in the back seat now. I'll watch over who i can. I'll read, often silently. I'll leave comments sometimes. I'll post occasionally to let you know how i am, but this is mostly for the friends i've made, not for an audience of anonymous people.

Mirrorboy has found his place in blogworld.

And Mirrorboy has found his place in me.

It's the back seat.