Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Wow.

So i'm just a selfish prick am i?

Blogworld does nothing for me any more, and i'm so goddamn drained from trying to help people that i'm of no use to anyone any more either. It seems every time i open blogger i end up depressed or angry, like i'm angry right now. So stop attacking me and my motives and tell me why i should stay.

And i will be replying to comments.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, I have been following you for a long time but I never wrote anything, but right now it seems I have to...I honestly think you are right, if this is hurting you more than it is helping you than it is the right move to quit. The thing is, I think deep down you do love helping people and if you leave you might miss it. Maybe what you should do is help people on a smaller scale, so yes maybe, if it is best for you, you should just quit blogworld and talk to people via msn and e-mail, you would still be helping people, yet it would be less demanding of you. People who follow you will maybe be sad for a while but they'll get over it. They will probably find someone else who can also help them with their problems. In short, I don't think your selfish, I think your realistic and that you might have just set your priorities straight.

southern said...

This is not an easy comment to make because there are so many pluses and minuses.Landyn has been a good friend to you and all friendships and relationships need compromise to survive - life is about compromise.Not all friends agree with each other and sometimes it is this that strengthens friendships.
It is a fact that you have helped many people - this old fella found a lot of stuff in your posts that opened my eyes and have been a big source of help to me.So there is no doubt you have a heart of gold.
You have lived through things in your young life that no one should have had to go through but you have survived.
You should not have to bear the burden of other peoples problems an your young shoulders but that does not mean that you can't share your wisdom.
The fact that you have found happiness has given many people much joy but you do have a long life ahead of you and we all know there will be ups and a few downs to cope with and now that you have been given the tools to guide you through.
But having said all this your own well being must be your first concern.Enjoy your happiness for a while and then see how you feel down the track on which path you choose to take.What ever you decide to do you will always have a mountain of well wishers following you.
Regards Stef.

Octavius said...

Dude, honestly..., this post was a little childish. Unless I missed something in the comments I read, no one actually said what you are saying they did.

I doubt anyone really believes that you are being selfish. And to be quite frank, if you feel the way you say you do, then for your own piece of mind, you should leave.

Is that what I want...? Not really..., do I want you stay...? Can't answer that, one way or the other, either.

I tried to reach out to you once, but you didn't seem interested, so I left you alone. I still followed, and enjoyed your sporadic postings.

In the end I guess, you have to do what's right for you..., because I tell you this honestly..., you are too young and to emotionally skewed to help anyone in the first place.

I am sure you have a big heart, and do actually care, but that doesn't change the fact, that you are too inexperienced to truely counsel others.

Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not bagging you, the mere fact that you try, shows a great deal of character, but let's face it..., you haven't been you, for quite some time. You are a good kid, but you are still a kid. So my advice to you, is to just be that kid, and see where life takes you.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavours, and hope all goes well for you.

Courage and Honour!

Octavius

Anonymous said...

Seriously, Landyn and co. need to STFU and GTFO. Mirrorboy has no obligation to others in the blogging community whatsoever to continue with his blog: he has the right to bow out whenever he feels the need to. It seems that others are intent on Mirrorboy remaining so that he himself can assist them in sorting out their own issues, despite all of the turmoil that their issues are causing for him.

Is it Mirrorboy's fault that he's compassionate? Is it Mirrorboy's fault that he's sympathetic to the plights of others? Of fucking course not. If others are heaving their baggage onto Mirrorboy and it's bringing him down and he finds it necessary to leave to maintain his health and happiness, then he should be able to without those few select people lambasting for him 'abandoning' his blog and the community.

I, for one, think you're making a good decision Mirrorboy.

James said...

You don't know me, but I have followed your blog for a while now. You asked for a reason to stay blogging and here it is:

You have made a difference in my life through your writing, and no doubt you make a difference to many other people who also never comment.

Keep on writing for the people you help without even knowing about it. You don't need to read your email, comments or anything else. You don't need to interact with anyone on here to make a difference in people's lives. Your writing alone does that!

I also have a blog and to me the writing is therapeutic. IT gets things out of my system. I don't care about anyone reading my blog because I am writing for myself and NOT for them.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I wish you all the best for a prosperous and happy future.

-J

Ben said...

If Blogland really akes you feel like this then you shouldn't have to stay. Your duty is to yourself and if blogging really makes you feel this way thne I see no reason for you to stay.
...
....
:,-(
I'll be taking this as farewell. I'll have your goodbye post up soon... I love you

Tombi04 said...

Do what you need to do, and stop listening to a bunch of drama queens that think the world'll end if your blog closes.

Rowan D said...

From what i can see from the comments on the previous post, most people could understand why you were leaving, i certainly could.

There just seemed to be a few who were angry with you leaving.

But i said it last time and i'll say it again -

do what you think is best mate, and if you think the best is to leave then you should go for it. Don't let a few people stop you leaving if it is what you have set your mind upon.

Cheers,
Rowan

James said...

Hi MBoy,
Reason to stay:
You are AMAZING :)
And all of us really feel we can connect with you because of your honesty in your blog.
Whatever decision you make, I wish you ALL the best of luck and hope 2010 is better for you than any previous years!
I secretly - or not so secretly now - hope you do stay with us in the Blog world. But I respect as am sure most of the people on here do that you have your own life that you need to live in a way that makes you happy.
Take care of yourself and hope to see more post soon and if not goodluck with ALL of your endeavours.
J

Planetx_123 said...

So are you asking us to tell you why we think you should stay? The last sentence can be read either way.

I already mentioned that I want you to stay but dont be involved. Maybe turn off comments. But I want to know all of the great things and wonderful experiences you are going to encounter in the next few years. This is selfish of me, but I think it also allows you to keep a journal that you can reflect on in the future.

Much Love,
Steve

Spastic Fantastic said...

Hey Mboy :P

sorry I haven't written lately, been massively busy at work, but just got caught up reading your blog. Sucks that people are being mean about your leaving. I'm gonna miss you loads of course, but I think I understand why your going. If it's better for you then I'm all for it. Your real life has far more to offer you than anything online possibly could, and I hope you go out and grab it with both hands! (and i'm not just talking bout bitboy :P )

anyways I still think your awesome and always will.

*hugs and luvs*

Daily Dan said...

sorry about some of the things people are saying. I dont think they get the whole picture. And for someone to call you selfish is unbelievable. You are the exact opposite of selfish. For you to go out of your way to help so many people despite your own personal problems is an extremely thoughtful and beautiful thing to do. You're beautiful mirrorboy, no matter what anyone says.

I heard somewhere that in order to help others, first you have to help yourself, which is pretty much what you wrote in your last post. I like that saying. I thinks its true on so many levels. You need to do whats right for you, not whats right for others. If people arnt going to support you, then maybe they arnt as good a friend as you thought.

I hope that makes sense. I just want whats best for you. If this is the last time we ever talk, as long as you're happy, ill be ok with that.

i love you babe.

Dan

Ryan said...

OMg, I can only imagine what someone said or did that would make you feel this way, YOU ARE NOT a selfish prick.

You started doing this for YOU, and many have benefited, including YOU. Somtimes things run their course, maybe you will have a need for this again someday.

But you are the opposite of selfish and you deserve to be happy. NO matter WHAT you do...

-Ryan

TheDreamer said...

I thought you expressed yourself very clearly, fairly and maturely. Ignore the blog trolls and get on with your life. It's been a pleasure to watch your journey and I wish you ever possible success in life and love.

AA

Ron said...

hey there

i think what's important is that you use blogger is a way to tell others about yourself and to release any distress that might be locked up inside, as well as to tell others about the happy things in your life. if you think you've helped people enough and you'd like to take a break or stop, then go ahead. just use your blog as a journal.

And if you feel that people don't want your help, then let them be.s

you receive attacks? what, why? if you do then that's horrible, and there's no place for these people in your mind at all -- you shouldn't have to think about them.

I hope you feel better soon.

Take care

Ron

Matt. said...

Lol. I think people who criticise you for saying youll quit are stupid. I think we write blogs because its just a way of working things out, actually saying how we feel. And if you decide that that doesnt help you at all, then maybe its right that you quit? And its not like you cant come back; sometimes a break can be good.

In a literal sense, you owe ntohing to the blogworld, and it owes nothing to you; based on this its entirely up you what you do with your blog, and that includes quitting.

Then again, you do meet new people, and i think thats really nice too - having someone there, someone to relate to, to look for support. But you also get people who have set out to piss people off, or try and start "debates" to make them feel clever for doing it. And that makes things seem bad.

So - its up to you. Entirely. Youll have some people who would like you to stay, and some wholl want you to go. I dont mind you staying and i think it will do you good in the long term. I quit my old blog once, i was angry aswell, but for different reasons. But then i got even more angry because id destroyed everything i'd built over that year in a single moment, because everything seemed so dark. And now im back. I need this, its that simple. In a way, i think blogging is like sex - we all need it, but different amounts of it are healthy for different people.

x

Landyn said...

Then STOP trying to help people! My comment said that the blog is to help YOU and it's for YOU and about YOU.

Your emotional investment in everyone's problems is what's causing you to be drained and angry, not the blog itself.

To close the blog or stop blogging entirely would be a pretty big stretch to justify it by saying "I'm just so drained from caring about your problems, etc"

if you really want to stop blogging, there must be other reasons so say what they are and don't use everyone else's problems as the excuse.

I figure I just made myself the enemy of the world here by posting these last 2 comments. Sorry, but they are how I feel man, and I'm really bummed about it all.

Synx said...

i have no intention of attacking you. honestly, you're a likable guy, inspiring to quite a few, and a lot of other things.

at the same time, you do have to look after yourself, too and i get that and i want you to be okay. anyone here that is your friend would agree with that -- we want you to be okay.

if you want to stay, we want you to stay. if you want to go, it will make me sad, but as one of a few (hopefully) friends you have, i don't see why would should make you feel bad about doing what you need to do to be okay.

i'm not going to try to make you stay or tell you to leave. i'm going to tell you, however, that i care whichever way it goes. keep in touch, write, etc, and don't just drop us out of your life altogether and i'll be fine.

<3

G said...

Hi Mirrorboy - I sent you an email (too much to fit into a comment)
Keep well
Graham

Crash said...

Don't listen to anybody that tells you that you owe it to the community to stay. They can go fuck themselves. You have more important things to do.

Your last post most certainly inspired me to reexamine my life. Sure, you threw lots of metaphors in but I think we all got the gist of what you wanted to say. I support your decision to go. My only regret is not having found your blog sooner and possibly becoming friends.

You inspired this blog post

gerrydoire said...

Hello Mirrorboy, I like reading your blogs :)

Ethan said...

You are much nicer then me I would have told them off

With that said I want to say again do what every you want since the blog has YOUR name on it and YOU started it b/c YOU wanted too.

Only thing I can say is at least now you know which are your TRUE friends.

Kind of sad though

Well I've seen the post and I know you are a strong guy and after a day or two you will feel better and wont let those people bother you anymore at all

oldmidhurstian said...

Mboy. I think maybe the medium and the message got a bit messed up I don't quite get the negativity that you did from Landyn's comment.

The real point is that you simply can't be everybody's emotional sounding board, you've got your own problems and as you yourself pointed you're 16. Put yourself first, always, and do whta's right and safe for you.

Personally I'd miss you if you did leave because I you're worth talking to and clearly have a lot you want to say. Having said tat if it screws with our head then it just ain't worth it.

Take care of yourself
Love
Mac

goleftatthefork said...

too many comments to read on this and the previous post so I'm gonna skip 'em and just say this - you're about as far from being a selfish prick as just about anyone I have ever known or ever met - so I don't know what gave you that impression or what misguided soul made you feel this way, but it's just flat wrong ... live your life, share what you care to share, the best of us will recognize that generosity for what it truly is, and appreciate you for it